Guest Posted May 15, 2006 Posted May 15, 2006 I had a good friend I've known back in high school. We started going out with our respective partners about 3 years ago, and since then, have double dated and spent a lot of time on the phone talking about any relationship problems we have. then early last year, she told me she got engaged, I was happy for her, but then made me think how long it would be before my boyfriend proposed as well. He did it at the end of last year. She has since gotten married, is building a big new house and come back from a long honeymoon. I know that I am getting married soon too, but I just feel so envious of what she has. well, ok, particularly, her new lifestyle and her house. the problem with me is that we might have to live with my parents after we get married, not because we cannot afford to move out, but because THEY can't afford to move out - they've had gambling issues etc and we have had to support them financially. So, I guess I am particularly sensitive to this friend's happiness, because we grew up together, I've never been jealous or envious of her before, and bascially, we come from the same background and everything. I am really quite ashamed to say this, but since we've known each other, I've always felt that I was the prettier one, had better marks at school, etc. Not in a bragging one, but just in a "I don't feel threatened by her" way. Now, all of a sudden, she's got everything I wish I had, ok, maybe not everything, the real thing is just the fact that she can have a life with her husband, in a new house, no stress, no worries. Whereas me and my fiance are getting very stressed about what we can do after marriage. We are desperate to have our own house and have our life together, but it's just so hard because I am living with my parents at the moment, in a house I bought and am paying for, but because of their poor financial circumstnaces, I'm not sure how we can get the house to ourselves without feeling liek I've thrown them out on the streets. I'm just so stressed living with them becuase I don't feel like I've grown up, yet I don't know how to get them out, or for us to move out without then having to financially support them (we can't really afford TWO houses!). So that is really a separate issue in itself, but I guess because of that, I've felt so jealous of my friend's circumstances, it just seems so unfair that she's got this big house, new life, and I feel like I should also be able to have such things. How can I overcome these feelings? I know it's being stupid, and that most of you will write that these feelings may be normal, but I shoudl try to overcome them by trying to feel happy for her (which I kind of do, but it's marred byt he fact that everytime I see her, I can't help but think of what she has that I don't). I am so ashamed of myself but yet, i feel so down at times around her.
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