sunnie23 Posted May 15, 2006 Posted May 15, 2006 my boyfriend and I both still live with our parents. we're both 25 and saving to move out, so there is an end in sight, however i am having a difficult time dealing with the fact that we have no privacy at all and rarely ever get the opportunity to be intimate with each other. whenever we get the chance we do, but right now it's been almost two weeks and I am going crazy. all my ex's lived on their own so this was never a problem. i really love this guy and am incredibly attracted to him, and i want this to work out but i am really seriously wondering if it's possible. the worst thing is that i forget that our situation is what's to blame and i take it personally, like hes not that attracted to me or something. we spend a lot of time together, (usually outside of our homes), we're both attracted to one another, but if we aren't getting busy what is it that makes us more than friends? does anyone have any advice?
laRubiaBonita Posted May 15, 2006 Posted May 15, 2006 there are plenty of hotels, cars, bushes, vacant lots out there....... be creative!
jerbear Posted May 15, 2006 Posted May 15, 2006 Some other places, minus the saving part was when taking weekend trips, get a room. I did that once with a ex and always liked doing it in different locations.
scobro Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 25 is too old to be living with mommy and daddy.Grow up I don't care if you are saving get out on your own or borrow the down payment from your parents so you can move out.Really 25!!I was on myown whenI was 20 living in another country:rolleyes: Sorry don't mean this to be harsh just you are missing some growing up developement time still living with your parents at such an old age.
runner Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 25 is too old to be living with mommy and daddy.Grow up I don't care if you are saving get out on your own or borrow the down payment from your parents so you can move out.Really 25!!I was on myown whenI was 20 living in another country:rolleyes: Sorry don't mean this to be harsh just you are missing some growing up developement time still living with your parents at such an old age. i believe she asked for advice, not a lecture anyhow...perhaps you (OP) can make it a date night and get a room somehwere. sure its not something you can do very often, but that might make the experience even more worthwhile don'tcha think ? lots of time for the routine sex once you two get a place of your own
barfool Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 there are plenty of hotels, cars, bushes, vacant lots out there....... be creative! Yes yes yes. Most people end up going to these places to spice up a relationship. In your case it is doing what is necessary. Just have fun with it. Personally I found a playground at night to be a lot of fun.
Cuao Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 my boyfriend and I both still live with our parents. we're both 25 and saving to move out, so there is an end in sight, however i am having a difficult time dealing with the fact that we have no privacy at all and rarely ever get the opportunity to be intimate with each other. whenever we get the chance we do, but right now it's been almost two weeks and I am going crazy. all my ex's lived on their own so this was never a problem. i really love this guy and am incredibly attracted to him, and i want this to work out but i am really seriously wondering if it's possible. the worst thing is that i forget that our situation is what's to blame and i take it personally, like hes not that attracted to me or something. we spend a lot of time together, (usually outside of our homes), we're both attracted to one another, but if we aren't getting busy what is it that makes us more than friends? does anyone have any advice? Girl .. I AM IN YOUR SAME EXACT SHOES! I am 22, my bf is 26 and we are also saving up to buy our OWN places. Ignore what scobro said about living on your own @ 20... hello, I am NOT trying to pay rent and help pay off someone else's mortgage, NO THANKS! To make matters WORSE ... he just started a new 2nd job which eats into our weekends, AND he just put a down payment on a condo which he will be using as an investment property... AND he's tired / worried about finances etc...bringing us now to a 1 month dry spell of NO SEX! Yes we have seen each other during the last 4 weeks but again ... little to no opportunity as we've either been outdoors, and/or he's been too tired (esp since he just started the 2nd job). So I 100% know how you feel about the lack of privacy / sex! It all boiled to a head yesterday when I finally brought it up to him. And like you, he also mentioned the lack of opportunity and how he's been distracted lately ... then he assured me that it is NOT about his level of attraction to me (which I never really tht it was but I did get a little bit nervous)... because if it WAS, he said he would tell me (we've very open abt things that do / don't turn us off e.g. he likes me shaved & vice versa)... it's just that he hadn't really noticed the drop in frequency as an 'issue', what with all the things going on... even tho he said it DID bother him ... Funnily enough - I said to him the EXACT SAME THING you said i.e. if you're not having sex, what makes it different from a friendship? This was his response: with FRIENDS, you NEVER have sex. Then he asked me, almost laughing, if I tht we were never going to have sex again. I said, half laughing half serious, that I didn't know. He laughed even harder, and then was like "C, there are many many days left in the year". We talked about it for a few more mins, and he indicated that he never realized this was an issue for me.. So my question to you would be - does your bf know this is an issue for you? And if it is... and like my situation, it's more about the lack of opportunity than a lack of attraction... I think you should def try some outdoor activities if your bf is up for it... BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY... now would be a good time to take matters into your own hand, and put less pressure / expectation on your bf to please you. Have you ever masturbated? Do you own a vibrator? I just bought my first one this week, and LEMME TELL YOU it was the best $ 20 I ever spent! Being able to give myself an O... WITHOUT my partner being around ... is such a rush of relief. It's like this pressure & need I have has suddenly been reduced, because I can take of myself. Alot of the frustration I was feeling was because I KNOW he was achieving Os on his own - WITHOUT ME! And I had the stupid misbelief that I could not achieve on O without him - which frustrated me as I wasn't getting my release but I knew he was. So I think you should def give self-love a try, along with the other good suggestions. Hope this helps!
scobro Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 i believe she asked for advice, not a lecture Grow up and move out is my advice.
Skeered Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 Grow up and move out is my advice. Sorry I have to agree with this advice... Funny story...my XH lives with his parents since I left and got our divorce...he's 34 dated a girl who lived with her mom for the same reason he lives with his folks, because neither had the drive to grow up and live "real" life..he would, and I'm not kidding, tell me he was jealous because I have my own place and could have sex whenever I wanted that living with his parents was putting strain on his relationship. His parents won't let girls stay the night..LOL
jerbear Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 Yes yes yes. Most people end up going to these places to spice up a relationship. In your case it is doing what is necessary. Just have fun with it. Personally I found a playground at night to be a lot of fun. Monkey bars or the swing?
timidity99 Posted May 17, 2006 Posted May 17, 2006 25 is too old to be living with mommy and daddy.Grow up I don't care if you are saving get out on your own or borrow the down payment from your parents so you can move out.Really 25!!I was on myown whenI was 20 living in another country:rolleyes: Sorry don't mean this to be harsh just you are missing some growing up developement time still living with your parents at such an old age. According to whose standards? Yours? In some countries it's perfectly acceptable for adults to live with their parents well into their 40s. Who are we to say that the american way is the right way? A person should move out of their parents house when they are ready and not a second before. If both of their parents don't have a problem with them still living at home then who are we to judge? If it's anybody's problem it's their parents problem not anyone else's. Every culture is different.
timidity99 Posted May 17, 2006 Posted May 17, 2006 Sorry I have to agree with this advice... Funny story...my XH lives with his parents since I left and got our divorce...he's 34 dated a girl who lived with her mom for the same reason he lives with his folks, because neither had the drive to grow up and live "real" life..he would, and I'm not kidding, tell me he was jealous because I have my own place and could have sex whenever I wanted that living with his parents was putting strain on his relationship. His parents won't let girls stay the night..LOL Some parents are just that conservative. Doesn't make them right or wrong. Best solution for him is to respect his parents rules & get a motel room when he wants to have sex. I don't know where you live but the prices for motels in my area are pretty reasonable. You can get cheap deals at the motel 6 for as low as $28.99 per night in winter time. Now that we are in the late spring the rates are $35.99 per night.
timidity99 Posted May 17, 2006 Posted May 17, 2006 my boyfriend and I both still live with our parents. we're both 25 and saving to move out, so there is an end in sight, however i am having a difficult time dealing with the fact that we have no privacy at all and rarely ever get the opportunity to be intimate with each other. whenever we get the chance we do, but right now it's been almost two weeks and I am going crazy. all my ex's lived on their own so this was never a problem. i really love this guy and am incredibly attracted to him, and i want this to work out but i am really seriously wondering if it's possible. the worst thing is that i forget that our situation is what's to blame and i take it personally, like hes not that attracted to me or something. we spend a lot of time together, (usually outside of our homes), we're both attracted to one another, but if we aren't getting busy what is it that makes us more than friends? does anyone have any advice? My other suggestion besides finding a cheap motel room is also buying a tent to go camping with if you like going camping. You'll have lots of privacy in the tent.
Skeered Posted May 17, 2006 Posted May 17, 2006 Some parents are just that conservative. Doesn't make them right or wrong. Best solution for him is to respect his parents rules & get a motel room when he wants to have sex. I don't know where you live but the prices for motels in my area are pretty reasonable. You can get cheap deals at the motel 6 for as low as $28.99 per night in winter time. Now that we are in the late spring the rates are $35.99 per night. I 100% agree with my XH parents he doesn't have a right to do vial things like that in their home...hell he shouldn't even be in their home...he's 34. and if he's going to pay anything to get a hotel to have noookie in he best be paying some child support first...I already got told he couldn't pay me because he had to pay the dating service he signed up for...lol heck I've only been gone from him 2 years and already I have received about 130 worth of help from him for our daughter...but that's a whole other thread... :lmao:
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