crazywoman Posted May 15, 2006 Posted May 15, 2006 Hi, I'm new here and need advice.My husband had an affair and we're trying to stay together. It's over but i can't get over it.It's always on my mind and I'm in so much pain. He says he loves me but i don't know how to get past this? Any help will be appreciated
littlekitty Posted May 15, 2006 Posted May 15, 2006 How long ago was this? Have you sought any profession help? Either alone or together?
Guest Posted May 15, 2006 Posted May 15, 2006 Hi, I'm new here and need advice.My husband had an affair and we're trying to stay together. It's over but i can't get over it.It's always on my mind and I'm in so much pain. He says he loves me but i don't know how to get past this? Any help will be appreciated I know this pain hurts, I have felt it too. You are NOT alone in this. I can honestly say that not only time, but how your H deals with this situation from here on out will determine the outcome. If he is truely sorry, you will know because he will be trying so hard to prove himself to you. Another piece of advice I honestly feel that if they confess the affair to you, it means that they really have guilt and are more than likely remorseful for their actions. In my case, I discivered the afair, and had to go through SO much more, because he had to actually realize that he was wrong. I still think there is a sense of denial of wrong doing because I am being blammed for his actions. I do not take responsibility for his actions, only mine. But if blaming me for his actions make him sleep better at night, so be it. Counceling is the way to go, IMO. I think the more the two of you talk about the better you can deal with the issue at hand. I am so sorry, I know the pain all to well, and I send you a HUGE HUG and know you are not alone.
enoughisenough Posted May 19, 2006 Posted May 19, 2006 You are not crazy. Your name should be "crazyhubby". I really don't know how to get past it either. I probably would just be thinking about sweet revenge right now. Such as separating or divorcing, start working out and get a little cosmetic surgery if need be to boost self-confidence and esteem plus show him what he's missing, remain my sweet self all the while without turning into anything remotely bitch-like thereby reinforcing to him what an innocent and lovely person he lost (LOL- sounds kind of funny) who also has lots of class and character, finding a new wonderful man in my life who falls in love with me (lets cross our fingers- i guess i'll hold out sex until i realize he grows some sort of feelings towards me- or maybe this time wait until after marriage- reinforcing to my ex-husband the standards i have and innocence), then eventually he'll realize what he lost and probably go insane with jealousy. But by the time that plan is said and done, I'm guessing a lot of feelings for my ex will be well over though. I wouldn't want to toy with some poor guy either. But I guess mine is not the healthy way to go probably??
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