Jessie61 Posted May 14, 2006 Posted May 14, 2006 I think it's probably a mistake to base the decision to divorce on if you can make an alternate relationship work. The better question to ask yourself is, "Would I rather be alone for the rest of my life, than to continue in marriage with my current partner?" As MovinOn points out...a person can be left "high and dry" with the OP suddenly deciding to stay put in their own marriage. That's one risk. Another is that if both parties leave, and then the new relationship fails....there will very likely be plenty of regrets. When you make the decision based ONLY on you and not at all regarding the other person...you eliminate those kind of emotional risks. In essence, you're doing what you would have done anyway, and you're more apt to be satisfied with your decision regardless of the eventual outcome. As far as the "effects" on children....there are books available on the subject, and you might also consider making an appointment with a reputable child psychologist in order to gain more insight. Personally, I think I'd be hard-pressed to take any action that would require me to lie to my children. I have found mine to be fairly intuitive. More often than not, they know more than we give them credit for. And I don't think I'd ever be able to pull off a big whopper of a lie...and them not see right through me. Yes, I agree a lot with what you say, LJ! I think that if you leave, you should leave because the current R is bad and cannot be saved, not because you want to swap one R for another... Then there should be no regrets even if the second R does not work out?
Recommended Posts