feelingsforbf Posted May 14, 2006 Posted May 14, 2006 Well Im mainly writing this to vent but any comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I have been best friends with this guy for 2 years now. I admitted to myself that i had feelings for him in december but was gonna just keep it to myself since he had signed a 6 yr contract with the navy. We had one last night to go out before he left for boot camp and had a great time as usual. We came back to my house like we normally do and watched a movie before crashing. We played a game that night lets see how uncomfortable we could make each other. His idea. Which didnt bother me he knows more about me than anyone. Ended up his arm around me and my head on his chest. We talked alot that night like 3 hours just about him leaving and what it was gonna be like, life and whatever else came up. Then he made the comment he didnt care anymore about what people would think and kissed me. Of course I kissed him back and it was more amazing than I had imagined. That went on for quite a while with talking in between. Turns out he had been wanting to do that for long time and told me he was mad I backed out of the skiing trip we were gonna take with some other friends. I admitted to not going because I had feelings for him and I knew I was never gonna tell him. More time went on and one thing led to another and you can use your imagination on what else happened that night and morning. I only got to see him one more time for 5 minutes before he left for boot camp. He did leave me a phone message that said if we hadnt gone out that night he would have probably never done anything, and was glad we did cause it was something he had been thinking about for a long time. Well he left and once he was able to write in boot camp he did once a week to his parents and myself. He even called me a few times while there. Once he made it to his new base he called a few times from calling cards since he didnt have his cell yet. Now that he has the cell he calls pretty much everyday except for crazy study days at school. Sometimes calls a few times and today he called 10 times just about silly things he wanted to tell me. He has never said anything about what happened with us and neither have I cause I would rather have that conversation in person. I brought up going on a date with one guy in a letter I had wrote back when he was in boot camp like 2 months ago hoping to get some kind of response but nothing. We talk like normal almost like nothing happened, I know I dont want to bring it up (its to personal for me to do on the phone) And today he was telling me about the hot girls on the beach and he was gonna get some girl to rub lotion on him. Which I laughed cause I told him he wouldnt have the balls to do it. Which he didnt, he also told me that some girl bought him a few drinks tonight at the bar. But then when he finally got back to base he called me again to tell me he made it home and wished I was there cause it was so much fun on the beach and at the bar. So I really dont know what to think. The first week he was there he asked me to come out and visit him which I was going to but now he gets to come home here instead for memorial day weekend and Im gonna go out in June sometime. Im not sure what to think about anything. I know that my feelings are full blown out there now, I guess my main thing is rejection esp with the fact he is gonna be in the navy for at least 6 years. There is also an age difference with us. He is 21 and Im 29. I know some of you may really being frowning on this but neither of us look young or old, we look the same age, and sometimes I swear he acts more mature then me. haha Point being unless we told you are ages you would have never guessed. Anyway I guess I just dont know what to do, do I say something when he comes home? do I just pretend it never happened and go on? Im just confused. I know when he comes home he will probably spend more time with me then even his family. I just dont know what to do about the situation. Thank you to anyone that reads this long winded thread. Any comments or suggestions would be great thanks!!!
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