Miserable

[SadKarina]

I've always thought that you're supposed to be happy when you're in a relationship... You're supposed to feel like a million bucks, you have to feel like you own the world... and although my bf loves me to death... lately I've just been feeling empty. My bf is muslim and I'm christian, he's 8 years older than me, I don't really notice the age difference. I recently told my mother about him, (who is a true believer, she goes to church almost everyday)... I'm happy that I don't really have to lie about it, but my mom is really against it... even though he's never met him. I do everything for my bf... I even left school for the semester to be with him more often... I sacrificed everything for him, (litteraly)... and in return, all I got was words... All those I love you's and I can't live without you's are amazing in the begining... but now I just want more... I want him to show me those things with actions... We're always staying in his house, doing nothing... I'm young, I'm pretty... He should show me off to the world... We should laugh and do what couples in love do... dancing, walking, laughing... Instead we are at his house most of the time... doing... nothing. Sometimes I get so bored that I pick fights with him for no reason. I start pinching him and he gets mad, and I get even more mad because I'm just messing around with him, why is he getting so worked up? Stupid things like that. I want to be happy, I want his world to be me... When I'm not around, I want him to wonder what I'm doing, and what I'm thinking and who I'm with. Is it really so much to ask for? Do guys like that even exist?

Anyways, I don't think anybody can find a solution to my problems... I feel so stressed... I feel like I'm wasting my time... I tell him these things but he says I'm a drama queen and I'm just creating problems because I want to be miserable. Things are going bad to worst... Sometimes I wonder if I should leave him, but I know that I would suffer more if I did... and if I get more miserable than this, I might just be suicidal. (sarcasm). Anyways. Have a good night guys...