Guest Posted May 14, 2006 Posted May 14, 2006 So I have this good friend.. well not so much. but it started out nice. Being in the same major, we got along great, had lots of classes together so there was a lot of time to talk and hang out and study together. That lasted a few months. At first i wasn't attracted at all and things went great. As they do with most close male/female relationships a slight attraction started to form. As time went on hanging out everyday, we grew closer. And with this, I grew more attracted to her. Then about a 2 months ago, while working on some homework, I decided to make the move. Things went great. Not too much happened and we even talked about it later on. She told me that she didn't want a relationship out of the deal. I already kind of knew this, and it didn't bother me too much being as by now I was incredibly attracted to her, so i could handle the FWB. This went on for a couple days and we eventually slept together. This is what probably made me the most attached to her. She continued telling me that no relationship could happen. Of course this made me want one more. We went to a party one evening at a friend of her's. I noticed that she was getting awfully close to another guy and asked her if she wanted me to leave. She told me no. no more than 30 minutes later, she was outside making out with this guy. Now i know that while I knew this was going to happen eventually, it still really bothered me. I called her later that evening and she told me that she likes me more than anyone she has ever been with. This gives me hope, and makes me forget a little about this other incident. We continue to sleep together and she tells me everytime that she thinks it is a bad idea. this is about the time that deep depression starts to form. I know that I am getting too close, and she knows it too. It seems as if she is slowly getting closer to me as well. Giving me more hope. Each time we hang out and make out, I get more hope. Only in turn does she say something like she doesn't want to continue this and ruin our friendship. If you ask me, the friendship was lost awhile ago. The depression really gets to me. I can't stop thinking about her. It makes me mad the things that she does to lead me on and then drop me, however I still keep coming back. I know that I need to break off the contact with her. But she was such a good friend before hand, that it is so hard to stop everything. I tell myself that I would be happy if I could just take the sex and be content. Last night she called me up to hang out with her and her friend that was visiting from out of town and staying with her. I knew that this friend is a guy that she has a huge crush on. I talked myself into being strong and going over. The night went well and I had a good time hanging out with both of them. We get back to her place, and he is taking a shower, she gets all over me. I ask myself why she would be doing this when there is a guy that I know that she is attracted to 10 feet away. She tells me things that make me think that she really cares about me. Things start getting out of hand and she tells me "later". I stop and say ok, saying that we can hang out tomorrow when we are alone. Cut to today... I get home from work and talk to her online. She had a good day and I ask her if she wants to hang out.. I get a "maybe" in return. she tells me that she has a headache and doesn't think she is up to it. Sounds like the cheesiest excuses ever. and it's not the first time she has given me these. i let her know this and she gets quiet. tells me she really doesn't feel good and is going to lay down. ok fine. I should mention that she lives across the street from me. So 20 minutes later, I am driving out to go meet a friend, and notice that her car is gone, and it was there when I got home from work just before talking to her. I know exactly that she was going to hang out with that other guy that she met at the party. And this really does hurt. I know it shouldn't and that i should let it be the no strings attached road. But should i let this lying go unnoticed? I am constantly getting hurt, but it seems as if it is all worth it when i am with her. The depression is almost unbearable on the days that she does this to me, however on the other days such as all day today after the last night with her and her friend, I was on cloud 9. Do i bring up that I know that she has lied to me? and that this hurts too much? I know that if i tell her this, she will want to break everything off and be "just friends". However, just friends would be just as bad as it is now, only I wouldn't get the sex. I don't think it would help with this depression either. I could use all of the feedback that you guys can muster on this one. Thank you
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