aktieb0cka Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 I was wondering if anybody (OW) has any tips or advice that helped them get over their MM?
RealityCheck Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 AK... Honestly, there is no easy way of coping. It tough, rough and brutal. Remaining NC (no contact) is best. Even in this mode it is extremely hard to deal with the want of wanting! I have been N/C for 5 months, and truthfully, he sickens me, yet I still have a memory of longing. It is something you will never feel in your entire life! I guess that is the saying that an A is "Evil"! Because if you never experienced hell on earth an A is it! It works on every emotion within a human being. Good Luck Dolly! We are ALL here for you!
Author aktieb0cka Posted May 13, 2006 Author Posted May 13, 2006 Thank you, I wish it is that easy. We work together, but almost every responsiblity that we had together as co-workers I have passed along to other people. It is just the unexpected stuff. I don't ever want to contact him again, but I have that longing deep down inside, just like you mentioned.
Guest Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 AK... You are not over yet! Trust me! It takes time and more importantly, it takes YOU getting a life back! I have loved very deeply, cried a ocean of tears and laughed a thousand night of InProv so to speak, but nothing can prepare you for the emotions of an A. Stay Strong DollY!
stillafool Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 This is the most difficult thing I have been through. The longing seems to never stop and the thoughts go on and on. One thing that helps is to stay as busy as possible and believe it or not - prayer. It must be difficult seeing him every day at work. Mine is 3500 miles away and it's hard. Be strong and determined to do the right thing. You will be rewarded with someone special. Good Luck:)
Author aktieb0cka Posted May 14, 2006 Author Posted May 14, 2006 Guest, I agree. I never knew anything about EA. Never even heard of them. I just only knew about PA. I never thought anything I was doing was wrong. I was being a friend and I always thought of him as my married guy friend. If you told me I was going to take it to the next level, I would have told you, you are crazy!!! I never saw it coming. I know I have a long road ahead. It should be interesting!!!
Author aktieb0cka Posted May 14, 2006 Author Posted May 14, 2006 Still a fool, I agree it is difficult. I wish I wasn't where I am emotionally. I think about all the memories, but I want to only remember the good times. I mean regardless of our sitiution, he is a good person and so am I, but we made a terrible mistake. We now have to do the right thing.
lovernotafighter Posted May 15, 2006 Posted May 15, 2006 it sounds like you are remaining positive and having a good healthy attitude over the whole thing...thats really the first step..walk away with good intentions for both of your happiness. it is hard but it will get easier and easier...stay strong,you can do it.
Author aktieb0cka Posted May 15, 2006 Author Posted May 15, 2006 I am trying to be positive. It is very hard!!! I always try to find the good in people(I blindly saw the good in him), but I was burned in this situation. I could be a jerk, but it is not worth the effort!!!
Jessie61 Posted May 15, 2006 Posted May 15, 2006 I am trying to be positive. It is very hard!!! I always try to find the good in people(I blindly saw the good in him), but I was burned in this situation. I could be a jerk, but it is not worth the effort!!! Aktie, Yes, keep trying to be positive! I believe that a person can choose to look at something positively or negatively, and I would always choose to be positive. You are right, sometimes you wonder how on earth you could see anything positive in a particular situation, but you can. You were burned (as you say) but that does not mean you are a "jerk" who deserved to be burned. Fair from it! Hold your head high and stay focused on getting over it. You will learn loads from all of this... And you will come out of it a lot stronger!!!
Author aktieb0cka Posted May 16, 2006 Author Posted May 16, 2006 Aktie, Yes, keep trying to be positive! I believe that a person can choose to look at something positively or negatively, and I would always choose to be positive. You are right, sometimes you wonder how on earth you could see anything positive in a particular situation, but you can. You were burned (as you say) but that does not mean you are a "jerk" who deserved to be burned. Fair from it! Hold your head high and stay focused on getting over it. You will learn loads from all of this... And you will come out of it a lot stronger!!! Thanks for the encouragment. It is hard to be positive, but it will be well worth it in the end, for everyone! I am learning everyday and I am sure I will continue to do so!
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