If we have sex will he be less interested?

[Mary3]

Boys

The games have been developed because you guys have double standards. It's okay for you to f*** a girl early on but you usually dump the girl who does it.

 

If a man dumps a girl quick after getting fast sex then his only objective was getting the * sex *.

 

If they care about eachother , if it happens fast or 6 months later he will still be around * if * he genuinely cares about her. If he just wants to screw then he will get it and be gone.

 

I personally have a pretty high drive and I can't wait months , lol. But I am quick to see if THATS the only reason he is coming over and thats a turn off.

 

Unless of course you want uncomplicated sex with no strings. Then that works for those that just want to get laid.

 

Sometimes we just want to get laid...man or woman ...

[Lishy]

Hey guys

 

I did start another thread on this but I will update you on here

 

We went out on Saturday night and had a great time, he insisted on picking up the dinner bill again - We came back to my house and just kissed and cuddled all night, he stayed over!

 

The next morning we started again and then we made love ALL DAY!!! we was at it (on and off-excuse the pun) for nine hours!

 

When he left I was sore as hell but had the biggest smile on my face!

 

He has rung and text me every day since and I am seeing him tonight, we are going for dinner on the river and then we will see what happens!

 

He offered to buy me a car until I find a car I want to buy (as mine got stolen) but I said no - He brings me flowers and he bought my son (who he hasnt met) a football t-shirt!

 

He is thoughtful and even though we have been at it like rabbits he has still not spoke crude to me!

 

He is a real sweetie and even if nothing comes of it I would never regret sleeping with him!

 

So now you know!

[Art_Critic]

He offered to buy me a car until I find a car I want to buy (as mine got stolen) but I said no - He brings me flowers and he bought my son (who he hasnt met) a football t-shirt!

 

Oh No... That isn't even close to being right...

[Lishy]

I dont see him as my future hubby Art I see him as someone who makes me feel good right now! All I have met so far is guys making false promises and using me for sex so let me enjoy it for what it is!

 

He wont be meeting my son and they way he offered did not ring alarm bells in me! He bought my son a T-shirt as his friend was selling them dirt cheap and he asked if Harry would like one as he was getting his son one and he offered the car as it was going really cheap and when I got my own car he could sell it to his friend who needed a car!

 

He isnt trying to buy me at all Art - My guard is so high I would see it a mile off!

 

I trust myself and if I see or hear anything I dont like I will be off - So far he is lovely!

[alphamale]

- If I have sex with him will I ruin what could be a good thing?

if you think he has great long-term potential then you should consummate the relationship around the 10th or 12th date. by this I mean penetration of the vagina. you can do other stuff before then, I guess...

[Art_Critic]

He isnt trying to buy me at all Art - My guard is so high I would see it a mile off!

 

Bull s***...

 

His self esteem is so low that he offers to buy you a car after only going on a handfull of dates and having sex once..

 

WTF ????

 

and he is buying your child clothes and he has never met him..

 

WTF ????

 

 

He may be making you feel good.. but he is a basketcase waiting to happen.. I see stalker.. didn't you just get rid of one of those..

 

This new guy is a headcase..

[Lishy]

Did you read what I wrote honey?

 

He offered me to use the car before his friend buys it as I dont have any wheels at the moment - I said no he was fine he said he was gonna buy it on behalf of his pal anyway!

 

He asked me if my son would like a t shirt his friend was selling, I said yes. I offered him the money and he refused as it was £3.

 

I think for you to call him a basket case and a stalker is way OTT ... Do you not think I can spot a wrong-un a mile off? I meet em every week and wave them goodbye every time!

[Art_Critic]

Did you read what I wrote honey?

 

Yes I did.. I stick to my original comments..

 

I can't believe that you think someone offering money/gifts so soon in dating is appropiate..

 

I do not..

 

I see it as a red flag..

 

It is just my opinion.. but time will tell whether or not I'm correct.

[Lishy]

you know that i always respect your opinion Art!

 

he has all of the morals i admire in a man and he is honest and sincere. If I read what I wrote I would have thought WHOA - But it was not as extreme as it sounded. He treats me how I want to be treated, he is sweet without being sickly and he is a great dad to his son, I know alot of his friends and they ALL say how nice he is.

 

Thats all I want in my life right now!

 

If I see anything I do not like I will ask you about it Art cos I do listen to your advice!

 

I think you just pre-empted this one a bit hon!

[Mary3]

Hey guys

 

I did start another thread on this but I will update you on here

 

We went out on Saturday night and had a great time, he insisted on picking up the dinner bill again - We came back to my house and just kissed and cuddled all night, he stayed over!

 

The next morning we started again and then we made love ALL DAY!!! we was at it (on and off-excuse the pun) for nine hours!

 

When he left I was sore as hell but had the biggest smile on my face!

 

He has rung and text me every day since and I am seeing him tonight, we are going for dinner on the river and then we will see what happens!

 

He offered to buy me a car until I find a car I want to buy (as mine got stolen) but I said no - He brings me flowers and he bought my son (who he hasnt met) a football t-shirt!

 

He is thoughtful and even though we have been at it like rabbits he has still not spoke crude to me!

 

He is a real sweetie and even if nothing comes of it I would never regret sleeping with him!

 

So now you know!

 

There are so many good things in his actions here . He could have had sex and not even called afterwards...

 

But he is doing nice things for you. I don't see it as much as a warning ( yet ) because it shows he is a giving person.

 

Whether he becomes a great guy or your worst nightmare remains to be seen.

 

In a world of selfish quick bangers its nice to see this one wants to do good things for you.

 

If its his true generous nature then you are lucky. If he is doing BIG things like this so soon , he is either totally a great guy or someone who is going to buy you things to keep you interested.

 

I would keep him in check at arms length in case he decides you * belong * to him because he did you favors. And I would refuse some of his favors so there is healthy balance.

 

Some people ( And I should say its rare ) will do amazing things to make you feel great. I once had a LD bf who had $ 500 phone bills talking to me ! He never thought that was a big deal ...I eventually moved out there and we were together 4 years. In that 4 year time , this was the most amazingly generous person who would give me his last dollar to help pay the toll road fees. This is so rare that I have yet to find someone who has put my needs way up there like that or showed such a giving side. He never thought anything he did for me was a big deal . Rare like the hope diamond.

 

Enjoy this . But remember to be on the lookout for controlling behavior. I was lucky that mine was just generous and never expected anything back.

[alphamale]

I can't believe that you think someone offering money/gifts so soon in dating is appropiate..

 

I do not..

 

I see it as a red flag..

I would like to strike my comments in post #30, it was based only upon the original post. After reading further I agree with A_C 100%...

[Lishy]

Thanks Mary ... I was scared there for a bit but I sat back and went over every thing he has said or done, he does not have controlling aspects to him AS OF YET! and if I see any I will bail ... I lived with a controller for 14 years and the signs were there, I was just too young and naive to see them! Never again would I put up with that!

 

He has not been over generous he has just done sweet things like buy me flowers and my son a T shirt ... I offered him the money and would not have accepted it had it been expensive! It wasnt a ploy to get in my good book as I have been paying him just as much attention as he has been paying me!

 

I have NEVER dated someone who is so easy to date ... When he says he will call, he does ... He is ontime and not too over the top!

 

He is just nice

 

I am just going to enjoy it while I can!

 

Thanks again Mary you eased my mind!

 

x

[alphamale]

He is just nice

boy, thats the kiss of death if I ever heard one! and what's with all the "i'll enjoy it while it lasts" comments??? sounds like a short-term thing to me.

[Lishy]

I dont mind if it is short term

 

i am not looking for a husband!

 

I am looking for someone to enhance my life not rule it or take over it - I dont want to answer to anyone, I want to have fun and be treated right if I let a man into my life!

 

He came around tonight and we had a great time, we sit and laugh and joke and cuddle!

 

Just what I need right now thanks!

[Kittiecat]

I dont mind if it is short term

 

i am not looking for a husband!

 

I am looking for someone to enhance my life not rule it or take over it - I dont want to answer to anyone, I want to have fun and be treated right if I let a man into my life!

 

He came around tonight and we had a great time, we sit and laugh and joke and cuddle!

 

Just what I need right now thanks!

 

If you don't mind it being a short, casual affair, then why are you asking if having sex will make him lose interest? If all you're looking for is companionship and sex, go for it! (Which obviously you did!).

 

Anyway, I have to side with Art Critic here, as I am always leery of totally perfect, dreamy scenarios involving fantastic men bending over backwards for women they hardly know. I just got out of a situation like that myself (two dates and he was already saying he wanted us to be 'exclusive' - YIKES!!). Other than that, everything else was fine, and I could have easily kept seeing him because he made me feel good and said and did all the right things...but eventually I recognized that I liked him because he said and did all the right things...not because I liked HIM.

 

I just think it's important that people use their heads as well as their hearts in situations like these. It's so easy to get carried away...even when it isn't meant to be serious. Sex is tricky like that.

[RecordProducer]

I have met this really nice guy - We have seen each other five times and we are going out tomorrow night and he is staying at my place all night!

 

The question is this .... This guy COULD be a stayer, so how far should I let it go? When I kiss him it is so nice and he is really gentle and affectionate and after a few drinks I may want to have sex with him BUT will it screw things up? He has not been a bit crude or spoken to me in a way that tells me he is just out to screw me. I know he is really into me by his actions and words.

 

I am out of touch and I dont want to screw this up before it has really started - If I have sex with him will I ruin what could be a good thing?

 

Help!!!!!!!!!!

I think you need to decide whether you want a guy who might think you easy only because you slept on the second or third date. Personally, if I would meet a guy who would think that of me, I'd be glad to see his back after the sex happens.

 

I would be disgusted to hear from my guy: "I am glad you didn't give it to me for a whole month cuz I would have thought you're a whore." Because HE would've slept with me too so he wouldn't be a slut, but I would've? I would only accept as fair enough if he told me: "If YOU wanted me after 3 dates, I wouldn't have slept with you as I am not comfortable with sleeping early into the relationship." I would think he's nuts but would kinda accept it.

 

But if a guy sleeps with you and then accuses you of being easy for sleeping with him - screw him! He's just a hypocrite.

 

My advise: play by ear and think more about what YOU think of him; not what he thinks of you.

[Mary3]

If you don't mind it being a short, casual affair, then why are you asking if having sex will make him lose interest? If all you're looking for is companionship and sex, go for it! (Which obviously you did!).

 

Anyway, I have to side with Art Critic here, as I am always leery of totally perfect, dreamy scenarios involving fantastic men bending over backwards for women they hardly know. I just got out of a situation like that myself (two dates and he was already saying he wanted us to be 'exclusive' - YIKES!!). Other than that, everything else was fine, and I could have easily kept seeing him because he made me feel good and said and did all the right things...but eventually I recognized that I liked him because he said and did all the right things...not because I liked HIM.

 

I just think it's important that people use their heads as well as their hearts in situations like these. It's so easy to get carried away...even when it isn't meant to be serious. Sex is tricky like that.

 

I had a guy after 2 dates taking me house shopping ! I kid you not He bought me $ 80 dinner and some cute jeans and a top ( sorry but I never had anyone do this so I said what the heck why not ?. lol ) So he took me along to find * our house * ( I know you think I am kidding but I am not ) and that was when I learned he had ADD and was turning majorly into a control freak !

 

He grabbed my steering wheel when I was driving ....yack ! So of course after this long talk about how he would take care of me for the rest of my life. I decided the rest of my life would begin the moment I didn't answer his phone calls anymore.

 

I do agree that when a guy comes on REALLY strong and is buying you parts of Manhatten after the second date its usually because they are really insecure and alone . They $$$$ buy your love.

 

I know that a friend of mine has a husband who bought her 5 expensive purses in the course of two years ( I am talking $500-800 per bag ) buys her everything to keep her happy and she eats it all up ! The only problem for me is : He is not attractive at all so I could not marry someone just because of the bucks. She said he is not attractive but he is intelligent and she likes intelligent men....Okay....I am still not attracted so It would not work for me...

[SweetPea80]

Lishy,

 

If you feel that this guy is a "Keeper", then you MUST be on your best behavior around him, or that's the end of the test, you will fail. I know all about it. If you want to have any kind of meaningful, long lasting relationship with a man who will respect you as a women, then you should hold out on the sex for as long as you can. I say at least a month.

 

That way he will know you respect your body, and don't sleep with other guys right away. It is hard for a man to see a women that he sleeps with too soon as "wife material". Let him get to know you well enough first before you give him sex. Men really do wish women would make them wait longer for sex. If he will not wait until you are ready then he is not serious about you. A man who is really interested in you, will wait for as long as it takes. He will actually like you more if you wait longer to have sex with him. Good Luck!

[RecordProducer]

boy, thats the kiss of death if I ever heard one! and what's with all the "i'll enjoy it while it lasts" comments??? sounds like a short-term thing to me.

Alphigno, you're chronically and unsuccessfully trying to prove that all women on LS just want a short-term fling. Is that because you want to feel less guilty of your own sins?

 

Lishy, why pretend that you're innocent when sooner or later he will find out who you really are?

 

Just kidding.. teasing you about your huge number of sex partners (was it 2 or 2.5?)

[Lishy]

Alphigno, you're chronically and unsuccessfully trying to prove that all women on LS just want a short-term fling. Is that because you want to feel less guilty of your own sins?

 

Lishy, why pretend that you're innocent when sooner or later he will find out who you really are?

 

Just kidding.. teasing you about your huge number of sex partners (was it 2 or 2.5?)

 

It is up to 4 now RP! Does that make me a slut?

 

Things are still great with him, nice and easy and no drama!

[RecordProducer]

It is up to 4 now RP! Does that make me a slut?

 

Things are still great with him, nice and easy and no drama!

Six months ago it was 2. Now it's 4? If you changed your socks as often as you change men, you'd run out of clean socks in two days!

 

Seriously, it's enough for you to have two partners who know each other to become a slut. Imagine the conversation: "You screwed her? Me too! Wow, who didn't?"

 

With your reputation you can sleep on the first date, 5 min after you introduced yourself to someone. When you admit you only had 4 guys, who can think of you as a slut?

 

I hate the double standards that some men have about this topic. Those hypocrites!

[Lishy]

You are so right RP!

 

[Guest]

I have met this really nice guy - We have seen each other five times and we are going out tomorrow night and he is staying at my place all night!

 

The question is this .... This guy COULD be a stayer, so how far should I let it go? When I kiss him it is so nice and he is really gentle and affectionate and after a few drinks I may want to have sex with him BUT will it screw things up? He has not been a bit crude or spoken to me in a way that tells me he is just out to screw me. I know he is really into me by his actions and words.

 

I am out of touch and I dont want to screw this up before it has really started - If I have sex with him will I ruin what could be a good thing?

 

Help!!!!!!!!!!

If I were u I honestly wouldnt have sex w/ him. keep him wondering.Let him know right off the bat that u r a woman and not a hoe.

[Mary3]

Lishy,

 

If you feel that this guy is a "Keeper", then you MUST be on your best behavior around him, or that's the end of the test, you will fail. I know all about it. If you want to have any kind of meaningful, long lasting relationship with a man who will respect you as a women, then you should hold out on the sex for as long as you can. I say at least a month.

 

That way he will know you respect your body, and don't sleep with other guys right away. It is hard for a man to see a women that he sleeps with too soon as "wife material". Let him get to know you well enough first before you give him sex. Men really do wish women would make them wait longer for sex. If he will not wait until you are ready then he is not serious about you. A man who is really interested in you, will wait for as long as it takes. He will actually like you more if you wait longer to have sex with him. Good Luck!

 

Excellent Post !