srsvfx Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 so met this girl when she was 18, i was 19 (college). we've been going out for 2.5 years now, we've had ups and downs, but things are really great. When we go to parties and get drunk, she'll confess to me that she wants to marry me. I just smile. I could totally see myself with her, but marriage at this point is pretty weird to me thinking about. Do people who get togeather this young have happy marriages as they grow older? I always imagined myself getting married at like 28ish so im a little scared that i may have met "the one" this early. I certainly do not want to lose her, because i'd be looking for someone just like her to marry when im 28ish. The other thing i like about her is that she values religeon (christian), and she always had planned to stay a virgin till marriage (we've actually had sex now because she's really in love with me, as i am with her). So i know if this relationship does not go right its going to be hard to find someone like her, especially the whole virginity thing. So my question is... are there relationships of people who meet young that end up into healthly marriages? I know every situation is different and no advice here will probably be close to what will actually happen in my life, but reading divorce statistics, and seeing people like Nick and Jessica simpson divorce (not to mention a look at my own parrents failed marriage), ARE THERE MARRIAGES OUT THERE THAT ARE HAPPY??! Jeez it seems like all i hear about are the nasty stories. So please, if you are happily married, please just discuss how old you were when u started going out with this person, how long till you married, how long you've been married for. THANKS!!!!
tikigods Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 Stats are against young people getting married, a lot of the time people that get together young tend to go threw the honeymoon phase and then when they realize that they havegotten "old" will want to go out and do all teh things they missed out on while they were younger. I am not saying that it wouldn't work, or you two couldn't be happy, but yeah its more likely you won't be happy then you will be. Now I am 24 (going to be 25 this year) been with my hubby since I was 20 (turning 21) so for four years, married 1 and some months. I couldn't be happier, but I got all teh bar hoping, clubbing out of my system rather early and am glad to settle down. My hubby is turning 33 this year so he was at a point where he was ready to settle down as well.
Curmudgeon Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 So please, if you are happily married, please just discuss how old you were when u started going out with this person, how long till you married, how long you've been married for. When my wife and I started going out, after five years of friendship, she was 48 and I was 50. We were married two months after our first date and have been married almost 10 years. Like any married couples we sometimes have our ups and downs but both of us are far happier with one another than we ever were alone or with anyone else. As for a young marriage, I was 23 and she was 18. We'd known one another for three years but I was overseas for two of them. We'd actually met met for the first time when I was six and she was 1. She and her family were neighbors and our parents knew one another but weren't close. Her older sister (my age) and I went to school together for awhile (and didn't like one another then or any time since). That marriage lasted 25 years and most of them were pretty miserable. I divorced her when I was 48 and asked my wife out two years later with no one in between.
Vega Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 define happy? It's different for everyone. Plus, I doubt if very many happy couples would be posting on a relationship board.
whichwayisup Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 People do so much changing from their teens to 20's and well into their 20's. There's no need to rush off to Alter. Enjoy things as they are now and if you two are meant to be together, things will just fall into place later.
jonesgirly Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 I was happily married until I realized the confidence and good-feelings I was encouraging and helping to build in my husband resulted in his ability to pursue others. That being said, I think there is always a risk in any lengthy relationship, and at any age. It is always a risk to become attached to another person, especially when there is no way of really knowing what their intentions are. I think what really matters is 'knowing' yourself. And that means knowing that even if the person you love with every molecule you own decides that they want someone else, you will survive. For example, I am a 'caretaker' type, and tend to try to fix or 'make better' whatever it is my partner is lacking or needs help with. Of course this results in disappointment when they suddenly decide that they are far more worthy now (that they've been made to understand that), and decide to 'test drive' their new 'tools', but hey, I'm just the way I am. I'll be that way probably till I'm worm-food, whether it be my spouse, my child, a stepchild, a co-worker, or a person who just falls into my life. SRSVFX: Sorry about my bitter-sounding post, I'm just lame. But I hope the 'jist' of it is there.............always, forever, be true to yourself, no matter what "others" may do.........
Guest Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 My parents got together when they were 18 and even after 30 years of marriage they are still together:)
Curmudgeon Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 Happy to me means comfortable, content, stimulating, challenging and all that, and more, without rancor. It also means being able to be myself and being with someone who brings out the best in me, both of which are a two-way street. Doubt as you will! I don't remember seeing the sign saying "Abandon hope all ye who enter here."
1Gravity Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 It's work, no doubt about that. I know one happy couple but they were only happy after 7 years of MC. The more you get to know the couple, the less happy they seem.
Guest Posted May 14, 2006 Posted May 14, 2006 Forget statistics, other people, celebrity marriages etc etc I can tell you now, what ever age you are marriage is hard bloody work! Once the honeymoon period of a relationship is over - generally after the first 2-4 years, you start to realise your partner isn't as perfect as you first thought. They are human and have faults. Maybe some big faults. And they'll be thinking the same about you!!!!! Scary? Marriage takes commitment...effort...patience...work and thats why when you get married you make that promise "For better, for worse". See, they thought of everything! If you start off negitive...It could fail if we are young, what if shes not the one...then it's already doomed so start being positive. I'm not saying rush into marriage, but just stop thinking about it. When your ready, ask her to marry you and take as long an engagement as you both need. Never again give divorce or statistics a second thought....unless it's absolutly necessary. Oh, and good luck in whatever you decide!
Starving 4 Love Posted May 17, 2006 Posted May 17, 2006 You know I was married at 28 and my wife was 29. We talk about this sometimes, if we would have been together B4 it would have never worked. I for one was not mature enough and she needed time to party and get that out of her system. I am not saying dont get married, for me and my wife it served us not to get married untill a later time in our life.
amber26 Posted May 18, 2006 Posted May 18, 2006 Ok like u said every relationship is different but I think ours r alot alike. I was 16 and my H was 17 when we met. two years later we got married. We have been together for 9 years. Most of them happy. Hard work but happy just the same. Having family support to help u thru the tuff times helps. We both were pretty wild when we were younger. The whole sex, drugs, and rock and roll thing. Now that things have settled down and we have been together for so long. He is now looking at online dating services for no strings attached affairs. So my advice is that if she loves u and u love her waiting a couple of years won't matter. If it is not meant to be then it won't if it is then we will all be reading about your marriage in the newspaper 4 or 5 years from now. If I could change one thing in my life it would be to wait to get married. It is just a peice of paper. It does not say how much u love someone. U r the only one who can do that. I am 25 now and he is 27 r we happily married. I thought so but he thinks otherwise. Good luck to you, I hope your story turns out to have a happy ending
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