Yamaha Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 Why do you think we are sexually attracted to someone that has done you wrong and you want NO relationship with but you still find them very sexually desirable? Is there a way to make them less sexually attractive to you or is it just hard-wired in your brain?
Pyro Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 Why do you think we are sexually attracted to someone that has done you wrong and you want NO relationship with but you still find them very sexually desirable? Is there a way to make them less sexually attractive to you or is it just hard-wired in your brain? Wow, thats a tough one. So far for me, I have not been able to do that. Looking at my ex's from a physical standpoint, I still do find them very attractive but I am also aware of how the past was, so that is far as it would go.
whichwayisup Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 It's a chemical reaction, a scent or something - I don't know. In my personal experience, when I feel that strong sexual attraction to someone (Ya know that urge just to rip off the clothes and f*** right there for hours and hours and still want more...) I know that person is sooooooooo wrong for me. I had one bad relatioshp that was purely animalistic sex, we couldn't get enough of eachother and ofcourse that isn't enough to make one happy. Great sex is great, but if the rest of the relationship sucks, well, it's not cool. Thinking back to that ex now, it literally makes me SICK to my stomach! I let my hormones take over and didn't really think, I was too caught up in getting hot and great sex! Yuk!!!!!!!!! My hubby and I have a very balanced sex life, it's healthier and not so crazy...We have the friendship too, not just the sex. And most of all, we love eachother. The ex, well, that was pure lust. NOT to be confused with love. Biiiggggg difference!
Author Yamaha Posted May 12, 2006 Author Posted May 12, 2006 It's a chemical reaction, a scent or something - I don't know. In my personal experience, when I feel that strong sexual attraction to someone (Ya know that urge just to rip off the clothes and f*** right there for hours and hours and still want more...) I know that person is sooooooooo wrong for me. I had one bad relatioshp that was purely animalistic sex, we couldn't get enough of eachother and ofcourse that isn't enough to make one happy. Great sex is great, but if the rest of the relationship sucks, well, it's not cool. Thinking back to that ex now, it literally makes me SICK to my stomach! I let my hormones take over and didn't really think, I was too caught up in getting hot and great sex! Yuk!!!!!!!!! My hubby and I have a very balanced sex life, it's healthier and not so crazy...We have the friendship too, not just the sex. And most of all, we love eachother. The ex, well, that was pure lust. NOT to be confused with love. Biiiggggg difference! I know what you mean WhichWay. I know this person is very wrong for me but the sexual desire is still there and I don't want it to be. I am just wondering if there is a way to de-lust ourselves? I know it's not love but sometimes lust is a very powerful emotion. If you saw this ex now would you still be sexually attracted to him? (dispite being in love with your H) Does our sexual interests ever change or will we always desire those people (sexually ) that stir our lust?
whichwayisup Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 To be honest, and sickly - sadly - digusted with myself - Yes. I rarely think of him anyway, but I do know if he and I were to stand face to face, I'd probably feel some attraction, but it wouldn't be like it was many years ago. And, I would NEVER act upon it, even if I was single and available. Does our sexual interests ever change or will we always desire those people (sexually ) that stir our lust? Great question! I think it depends on the person. When I first met my now husband - He wasn't even on my radar. Nothing. We worked together for a year and I never once thought of him in a sexual way or anything. Then, one day he walked by me and I caught a whiff - He smelled sooo good - Then I started 'noticing' him more and more and seeing as we were friends for over a year first, once we started hanging out, outside of work, things just took off from there. The attraction was slow building, but also very intense. It wasn't so animalistic and that 'f*** me now' feeling - I knew I loved him and I felt it in my heart. Fast forward to now, I still feel tugs in my heart for him! Sometimes I can't stand him, lol, but I do love the guy. I also believe, for both men and women, there will be sexual attractions that just creep up on ya. Those, espeically when married or involved with someone, you never act on it ofcourse, but it doesn't stop. It's healthy and just because someone is married or involved, doesn't mean we're dead. Lust is a good thing as long as you don't get carried away and make it into a fantasty! Otherwise an affair or a 1 night stand could happen!
alphamale Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 I am just wondering if there is a way to de-lust ourselves? yes, its called chemical castration. Depo Provera (a progestin) is the drug most used. It acts upon the brain to inhibit hormones that stimulate the testes to produce testosterone. Its quite effective.
whichwayisup Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 I know this person is very wrong for me but the sexual desire is still there and I don't want it to be. I am just wondering if there is a way to de-lust ourselves? So, accept it as just that. If you want to have good sex and not let it turn unhealthy, both of you be honest about expectations. Enjoy it but don't let it go on for too long because that's when the lust/love things get confusing. Feelings of emotional attachment is just as strong as love too! NOT to be mistaken for long lasting love either.
basscatcher Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 Why do you think we are sexually attracted to someone that has done you wrong and you want NO relationship with but you still find them very sexually desirable? Is there a way to make them less sexually attractive to you or is it just hard-wired in your brain? OMG I totally would love to know how to shut that attraction off. There a few Xs that ignite me.. Then there are a few that are good looking if I seperate my history with them and thinik about it. BUT what they have done to me is so disgusting I see ugly when I look at them..
Author Yamaha Posted May 12, 2006 Author Posted May 12, 2006 yes, its called chemical castration. Depo Provera (a progestin) is the drug most used. It acts upon the brain to inhibit hormones that stimulate the testes to produce testosterone. Its quite effective. I don't want to rape her Alpha, just f^ck her for days. I guess having myself fixed would end my sexual desires but I don't think this is a good way for sexual health.
Tim'sAngel Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 I used to lust after my ex's when I was younger and had raging hormones. Well, I still have raging hormones, but as I get older, If someone does me wrong or I see something about a person that I don't like, I just dont' want anything to do with them period and the sexual attraction starts to go away just because they become unnatractive all together. Hey whichway... you mentioned in ur first post that your sex life w/hubby is not so crazy but better because you love him. I have noticed that w/my SO too, it's like, when you just want someone for lust, the sex is crazy, wild, rough... but when you do find that special someone it's still can get wild, but its also more tender and not so crazy. Since SO is my first real long-term relationship, everyone else I have been with sexually was just for the fun of having sex w/them. SO and I were friends and talked online every day for about 7 months before we actually got romantically involved. I figured when we had sex for the first time it would be all animal and rough, just because we would flirt so bad w/each other and say all kinds of wild crazy things to each other. But when we did have sex for the first time, it was so deep, and tender, and I just felt so much different than i did w/anyone else. We would even just lay there and talk and hold each other. Making love is so much better than f***ing
whichwayisup Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 Making love is so much better than f***ing Yuppers! And f***ing someone you LOVE is even better! I take sex when I can get it, it's very rare I turn down the offer from my hubby. He, on the otherhand, goes through times when he just isn't into having sex. Most of the time I don't let it bug me, sometimes I wish he was a horn dog just like me! Guess things balance out eventually.
Tim'sAngel Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 Yuppers! And f***ing someone you LOVE is even better! I take sex when I can get it, it's very rare I turn down the offer from my hubby. He, on the otherhand, goes through times when he just isn't into having sex. Most of the time I don't let it bug me, sometimes I wish he was a horn dog just like me! Guess things balance out eventually. Same here. I feel even more sexually charged now then I ever have. I think my SO is sooo sexy. SOmetimes he just walks into a room and I get the sudden urge to pounce on him and rip his clothes off!! And I would if it wasn't for son and roomie!!
burning 4 revenge Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 yes, its called chemical castration. Depo Provera (a progestin) is the drug most used. It acts upon the brain to inhibit hormones that stimulate the testes to produce testosterone. Its quite effective. You don't want to de-lust yourself. I'm 31 and feeling more and more de-lusted everyday and it totally sucks.
Tim'sAngel Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 You don't want to de-lust yourself. I'm 31 and feeling more and more de-lusted everyday and it totally sucks. HA! Sucks to be you
amgine Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 OMG I totally would love to know how to shut that attraction off. There a few Xs that ignite me.. Then there are a few that are good looking if I seperate my history with them and thinik about it. BUT what they have done to me is so disgusting I see ugly when I look at them.. I agree, only wish i had an off button too, there is this one guy (MM) so definitely a no go area but the attraction i have for him is so intense, it scares me sometimes. Thing is i never found him attractive the first time i saw him. Its like a smouldering flame you have to watch it as it can ignite at any moment and before you know it you have an inferno on your hands.
little_girl Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 i wish i knew why? i find myself sexually attracted 2 a MM & i know that nothing will evre become of the relationship but the sexual attraction is ther & i can't get rid of it no matter hoe i try!!
norajane Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 I know what you mean WhichWay. I know this person is very wrong for me but the sexual desire is still there and I don't want it to be. I am just wondering if there is a way to de-lust ourselves? I know it's not love but sometimes lust is a very powerful emotion. If you saw this ex now would you still be sexually attracted to him? (dispite being in love with your H) Does our sexual interests ever change or will we always desire those people (sexually ) that stir our lust? I've managed to de-lust in the past, though I never thought of it that way. I think the de-lusting would happen for me when I reached a point where I'd start to feel sorry for them, to pity them. It's hard to feel sexual desire toward someone I feel sad for.
Guest001 Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Ive gone through the same thing for the past 3 years. I was in a relationship that I shouldve gotten of out LONNNGGGG ago, but that sexual attraction was there and still is. If I were you I wouldnt worry about being sexually attracted to her. Think about how many people your sexually attracted to on a daily basis. Chances are your attracted to at least 95% that you see daily. Thats like a female that I was good friends with when I was younger. Boy, Ive ALWAYS had a thing for her. I got back intouch with her last year and have become good friends with her and her husband. Now everytime I get around her its 12 o'clock and Im not kidding, but I would never do anything for a number of reasons. Not that I dont want to, but she and I both know if her husband wasnt in the picture it still wouldnt be a good idea. We both have dominating personalities. If your chick is anything like her its not easy. Lord does she love to torment me with walking around in a bikini and under garments.
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