PandorasBox Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 If you have been cheated on before, what was the dumbest lie your spouse or s/o ever told you, and expected you to believe? I know sometimes when someone cheats they panic and are not sure what to say, so they will come with these off the wall excuses to hand you, to cover their asses. I'm divorced and heres a few that my ex gave to me. *When I asked him where a good part of the money in our savings was gone, (we didn't touch the savings unless for emergency purposes) he actaully told me someone must have stolen our pin number and got the money that way. The thing was, it wasn't large amounts at one time, it was right many frequent withdrawals over a peroid of time. I remember thinking oh ok so this person that stole our pin number just happens to keep making withdrawals, instead of wiping us out all at once. *Found a box of condoms in his vehicle, we didn't use condoms. I asked him about them, he tells me he was saving them for us when we went on our vacation, was thinking of doing something different besides always not using them. The thing is, one was already gone from the 12 pk box. So when I asked him why the box was already opened and one condom was missing, he told me it was already like that when he bought the box, and it was the only brand left he liked, so he got those. Later on found out that those condoms and money missing was being used of course on his mistress. I didn't buy not one of those stories he used on me, and it was only a few days after he was confronted on both of those things he was busted. So, what were some excuses your partner gave you, that was just ridiculas, but maybe you didn't realize at the time, or maybe you did?
jerbear Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 Its not you, it is me. I love you but not in love with you. Lets just be friends. Mostly lies I say!
Woggle Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 I can't believe he actually expected you to believe the condom thing. I remember one time I made a pot of stew for a family reunion and my ex ate it all while I was gone. Somehow she expected me to believe that the cat managed to open the refrigerator door, take the lid off the pot and eat the whole thing.
witabix Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 But he is just a friend..... No I never contact him..... I just enjoy his company..... I only got a lift home..... Some of my faves.
Author PandorasBox Posted May 12, 2006 Author Posted May 12, 2006 "I can't believe he actaully expected you to believe the condom thing." My thoughts exactly. What a dumbass he was. Guess he just thought of something off the top of his head. Boy I wonder what lies he is telling to his current g/f? Oh well, not my problem anymore.
catgirl1927 Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 I can't believe he actually expected you to believe the condom thing. I remember one time I made a pot of stew for a family reunion and my ex ate it all while I was gone. Somehow she expected me to believe that the cat managed to open the refrigerator door, take the lid off the pot and eat the whole thing. Ugh. She was just awful, Woggle. Awful.
JackJack Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 Two of my favorites from my ex g/f years ago were: "He is just my friend. Nothing more, nothing less." "We didn't have sex. We came close and were naked, but I stopped him and said we can't do this." A month after she told me that, she finds out she was pregant. It wasn't mine, we had not had sex, because 2 days after she gave me that excuse I broke things off with her. They didn't have sex, but she has a child by him, WTF ever!
a4a Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 Two of my favorites from my ex g/f years ago were: "He is just my friend. Nothing more, nothing less." "We didn't have sex. We came close and were naked, but I stopped him and said we can't do this." A month after she told me that, she finds out she was pregant. It wasn't mine, we had not had sex, because 2 days after she gave me that excuse I broke things off with her. They didn't have sex, but she has a child by him, WTF ever! Well hell why did she stop there? she should have said she got knocked up by sitting on a sticky toilet seat...... This thread is quite entertaining.
JackJack Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 Well hell why did she stop there? she should have said she got knocked up by sitting on a sticky toilet seat...... This thread is quite entertaining. Just this thread entertaining? Wow I thought ALL threads/forums were for pure entertainment value.
Woggle Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 Oh yeah my ex also put a few pieces of the stew in the cat's food dish. Like he would go and spoon some out into his dish.
whichwayisup Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 didn't have sex, but she has a child by him Hmm, did someone call the papers or call the Pope? Miracle Baby Alert!
Woggle Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 Maybe Mary was just fooling around on Joseph and she made uo the virgin birth thing.
catgirl1927 Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 I've thought about it, and it has to be this: "You don't understand. It was just sex with her, I LOVE you. This is your fault, really, if you had healthy self esteem you wouldn't let things like this bother you."
jerbear Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 Oh yeah forgot this: I'm trying to protect your feelings...
whichwayisup Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 Maybe Mary was just fooling around on Joseph and she made uo the virgin birth thing. Really eh. Never say never...Or maybe she sat in a puddle of splooge! (Sorry don't mean to offend anybody who believes...)
Art_Critic Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 I had a GF that told me that I was the first guy she had let cum inside her.. She had been married before and told me that the number of guys that she had been with was 12.. She said that she would let them go on her stomach and she always made them wear a condom.. I called her on it and she stood by her story.. She was lying
luvtoto Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 She came on to me. She won't leave me alone. It's not my fault.
luvtoto Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 oh yea... She wouldn't leave me alone...so, I finally told her, "Here..if you want *it* so bad, take it." I've never done anything like this [had an affair] before in my life.
tinktronik Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 My ex told me one time that the girl was supposed to be giving his friend head but actually gave it to him by mistake b/c she was under a table and he was too polite to say anything. .Like she couldn't tell the difference between the white mans cock and the black mans cock. too polite .Its still one of the stupidest funniest things I've ever heard.
riobikini Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 All good ones. Here's another for the record: " I didn't know how to appreciate you until I slept with her (or, in appropriate cases, him), -but now, I do..... I really do....and I love you more....now." -Rio
tinktronik Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 All good ones. Here's another for the record: " I didn't know how to appreciate you until I slept with her (or, in appropriate cases, him), -but now, I do..... I really do....and I love you more....now." -RioI got that exact line too!haha
catgirl1927 Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 All good ones. Here's another for the record: " I didn't know how to appreciate you until I slept with her (or, in appropriate cases, him), -but now, I do..... I really do....and I love you more....now." -Rio Oh my gosh! How about, "If I had sex with her, and she's so much hotter than you, and I'm coming BACK to you, shouldn't you be really happy???"
riobikini Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 The thing all these excuse-making weasels have in common, is that, in the very core of their miserable existence, they are all whiners, shallow, self-serving and wickedly deceitful manipulators, and have backbones the consistency of gelatin. But their antics are sometimes quite entertaining, -at a distance, of course. If only they could see themselves as the rest of the world sees them: clowns -all of them! -Rio
jerbear Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 very hard but by that time, the good have already been enjoyed and taken.
riobikini Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 -or, maybe, I sould have said, in the Great Court of the World, these people are the midget jesters. -Rio;)
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