Jump to content

"The end of life as we know it...."


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

Okay...bear with me I am trying to type but i am laughing hysterically. I'm on the phone with "Mr. Wonderful" and he is telling me how he "forgot" about and didn't attend his friends wedding three weeks ago.

 

I was all like, "Honey you should have gone"

 

He said,"Well you would have gone with me of course so you can see how life as we know it ends..." I nearly bust a gut.

 

We both agree that things change when someone is married...

 

BUT

 

Now I'm curious...do most people (not just guys) feel that marriage is "the end of life as we know?"

 

Do guys think of it more as doomsday where women think of it as a new beginning?

 

Do guys really think that the woman has the upper hand in a marriage?

 

LOL humor me

 

(MADDOG, Alphie, Art_C, Tudor, Walk et al?)

Posted

Marriage, geeze. Where do I even begin? I think way too many people get married either too hastily and/or for the wrong reasons. That's why the divorce rates are so high. Society is somewhat to blame though because we've almost made it a necessity to get married if you want to have children and a family.

 

The problem with marriage is that society puts pressure on you to get married by a certain age. This is especially true for women. If a woman is approaching her late 20's and isn't married, people start wondering what's wrong with her. This along with a desire to have children makes a lot of women rush into marriage with the first eligible guy they meet at this age.

 

I'm not sure why things have to change when you get married. It's obviously all mental because people who live together for a long time before getting married don't really have any significant change in their relationship or lifestyle. Maybe because it symbolizes that the couple is truly committed to each other for life. Instead of being together because you want to, maybe it's tempting to feel like you're together because of the commitment.

 

I think it does make more of a difference for guys. Like once you're a married man, you can't do as much stuff. If you have a girlfriend, it's totally okay to go to a strip club as long as she's cool with it. If you're married though, somehow it's completely inappropriate to go no matter what cause now you're a married man.

 

I don't know if a woman has the upper hand in a marriage but it definately seems like the second a woman gets married, her NAG gene turns on or something. I totally picture a wife that nags to her husband about everything to get him to do stuff she wants him to do. Maybe women like to nag by nature and when she realizes he's stuck with her for better or worse, she feels the freedom to nag.

 

I wouldn't call it doomsday but it definately has its risks for the reasons I mentioned (e.g. girl desperate to get married.) I'd like to have kids and a family one day so I'm pretty much forced to get married at some point. I can hold out for a long time though. My sperm will dry out a lot slower than a woman's eggs will.

Posted

I never thought life would change after marriage, but it did. It was one of those subtle, sneak up on you kind of changes. Where your backs turned, and you get this cold chill, and slowly you realize you're not in kansas anymore......

 

I guess maybe the closest I could come to describing it is comparining it to a temp job. When you're a temp, you're on your best behavior, you show up on time, when a problem comes up you work harder to fix it because you know you can be fired. Then you get hired in, and you start realizing your job is really secure. Maybe you know it's hard to get fired there. You show up to work 5 minutes late every day because you can, your basic work is done, but you don't do extra's, and when your boss jumps your ass you don't jump to change, but do your work a little slower because your mad and you aren't going to get fired for it. It'd take 4 warnings and a lot of paper work for them to fire you. You're pretty secure with things as they are.

 

Many people view marriage as the "final step" in a relationship. Once you tie the knot you've gone as far up as you can go with that relationship. Its viewed as the epitomy of a relationship. But just the ceremony, not what comes after it. Not the hard work, the constant effort, the determination to keep the relationship growing. Because if the relationship isn't growing, then it's declining.

 

And what guy wouldn't think of marriage as the touch of death, when everything around him says that as soon as he ties the knot, he's going to be lucky to get sex 3 times a year. Whereas before he was having sex 3 times a week. And since a majority of woman don't understand a mans need for sex, then it's pushed aside after marriage. How would a woman feel about marriage if she knew after the ceremony affection would drop off until it was only a few times a year, if you were lucky? Gonna bet most woman wouldn't be so quick to jump into marriage.

 

Then you figure in all the psychological aspects that people grow up with concerning marriage. Baggage that has to be worked through prior to marriage, but people are so touchy about the topic of marriage and are so easily hurt that these issues really can't be addressed with your SO. And usually it's the SO that you should be talking to, but its anyone but the SO that you talk to about these things.

 

I know it's only supposed to be a piece of paper... but we're innundated from childhood on the magnitutude of marriage. The ultimate goal in a relationship. And many times we don't discuss our deep held beliefs of marriage, how we see it, and what's past signing the paperwork. When you talk to people who aren't married about how they see their relationship developing, it's always in terms of "I see us getting married". When that is the absolute last issue that should be addressed in a relationship. It should be about longterm goals in making the relationship stronger, making your partner happier, meeting their needs, and becoming a stronger support for each other. Instead, we focus on this mystical marriage thing, and close our eyes to the real needs of our partners. Then we wonder why marriages never work, and blame everything on our partner.

  • Author
Posted

Interesting that no women have responded...veeeerrryyyy interesting

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

LOL Delectable isn't it?

 

My best friends husband SWEARS that Marriage was the end of life as HE knew it. But he also admits that once he was married he felt that he had showed her how much he loved her and respected her and 'stopped trying so hard'. He used to whine about not getting sex as much as he used to until she called him on not showering and shaving as much as he used to...to which he simply replied 'guilty':cool:;)

×
×
  • Create New...