rkman Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 See this is my exact problem. Due to the circumstances, in my case I cant completely accept that its over. He told me "somewhere down the line" he's hoping to get back together, but just not now. Thats extremely selfish in my opinion and im not going to put my life on hold to wait for him...whatever. It gets me angry to think he could put me in this situation. Subconsciously my mind wont let go. GB what did she do to you that made you feel that way? I do believe that being angry helps you to accept that its over and move on. I guess breaking my heart is enough to make me angry, i just have to apply it! ok so this makes me feel a lil better. Im sure i'll get to this stage at some time... or at least i hope so! Hell I know exactly what you mean. That's what she said to me too. Why they'd be so selfish is beyond me. At any rate, that feeling they leave you with almost makes you feel guilty for giving up. Just realize, it was they who gave up on you!
lebowski24 Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 I was just getting over that phase (hoping she would come back to me) and I was starting to feel great. Then I met my friend at a bar last night, I saw her and two of her friends grab a table outside while I was waiting for him to show up. CRAP, that sent me back a few steps. Fortunately, I resisted the urge to go say hi. I think she saw me, but who knows.
stronggirl Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 I totally, too, feel as if i have gone backwards this morning. It was two weeks to the day since he broke up with me, and i have gone 100% no contact since then. He wanted to call me (for i guess one last time) but i told him i didn't know what it would accomplish or if it would be in my best interest. In all of his letters (emails, there were three total following the breakup) in the last paragraph it was always about getting his things back (and him getting my things back to me). They were stupid things and it hurt me that he was putting so much focus on that at such a sensitive time. So anyway, this morning, two weeks after the breakup, he fianlly came and picked up his CDs and left me my empty beer brewing bottles and a vase i had given him flowers in (neither of us left any sort of notes with the items). I am mostly upset because i have been doing great and this stirred up a bunch of emotion inside of me, like someone just dug a shovel into my heart and turned everything up again. My friend helped me to see that maybe it took him so long to take care of it because it was just as hard for him to leave the bottles and pick up his stuff as it was for me to see them gone/exchanged.....not in a 'he still wants to be with me' way, but just a 'sad and sorry it didn't work out' way. i thanked her, because that is a much better way to look at it then to think he just doesn't care or think about it at all and is completely cold hearted. nonetheless, i am semi-glad it is fully over now, and i can try to start moving on fully forward. nothing is holding me back anymore from doing so.
Smung Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 totally, too, feel as if i have gone backwards this morning. It was two weeks to the day since he broke up with me, and i have gone 100% no contact since then. He wanted to call me (for i guess one last time) but i told him i didn't know what it would accomplish or if it would be in my best interest. In all of his letters (emails, there were three total following the breakup) in the last paragraph it was always about getting his things back (and him getting my things back to me). They were stupid things and it hurt me that he was putting so much focus on that at such a sensitive time. So anyway, this morning, two weeks after the breakup, he fianlly came and picked up his CDs and left me my empty beer brewing bottles and a vase i had given him flowers in (neither of us left any sort of notes with the items). I am mostly upset because i have been doing great and this stirred up a bunch of emotion inside of me, like someone just dug a shovel into my heart and turned everything up again. My friend helped me to see that maybe it took him so long to take care of it because it was just as hard for him to leave the bottles and pick up his stuff as it was for me to see them gone/exchanged.....not in a 'he still wants to be with me' way, but just a 'sad and sorry it didn't work out' way. i thanked her, because that is a much better way to look at it then to think he just doesn't care or think about it at all and is completely cold hearted. nonetheless, i am semi-glad it is fully over now, and i can try to start moving on fully forward. nothing is holding me back anymore from doing so. --------------------------------------------------------------- Strongirl.. Good for you! yes it's time to move on. Is suny out get out and go have some fun! When my ex finally got everything out I felt relief! Cheers, Smung
Spitkicker Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 too be honest.. in broken relaitonships... for the rest of your life you'll take two steps forward and one step back... my current love life is a mess... all I want is stability now... but it probably won't work.... all I can do is keep moving forward...
Author panthera_leo Posted June 30, 2006 Author Posted June 30, 2006 Well its been quite a while since i started this thread...nearly 2 months lol its weird reading it over again because I feel so different now. I guess i've just answered my own question... only time can heal. There's nothing I could have done to stop feeling that way. Its been 4 months since my break up and pretty much NC all the way. I no longer feel as if im going backwards and i find myself looking to the future rather than dwelling on the past. The only problem im having is that he STILL hasn't come to pick up his suit that he left at my house. I've tried to make arrangements but he puts it off... hmm luurvly :/ Anyways.. just thought id post to let ya'll know my progress... and things are definately looking up! SO anyone who's feeling all crappy just hang in there!
stronggirl Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 I guess i've just answered my own question... only time can heal. There's nothing I could have done to stop feeling that way. Its been 4 months since my break up and pretty much NC all the way. I no longer feel as if im going backwards and i find myself looking to the future rather than dwelling on the past. This is great. I know this is the truth.......... Time is really the only thing that heals this type of wound.
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