panthera_leo Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 GRrrrrr! Why on earth do i feel like im going BACKWARDS instead of FORWARDS! These past few days i've been waking up thinking everything will be fine and he'll come back. It feels like this is only temporary!!! WHY!? STOP IT WOMAN! GET A GRIP! Just wondering if any of you out there get the same... urg im bored of this feeling...
GB111 Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Oh boy, am I struggling with that. Probably 50% of the time. I keep telling myself she'll wake up and want to be with me again, despite making it quite clear she will not. Good news is I wouldn't have her back, so I guess it's a pride thing. I want to be able to throw the opportunity she had in her face. Real productive, GB, real productive...
Author panthera_leo Posted May 11, 2006 Author Posted May 11, 2006 I think it may be just one of those wierd phases of a breakup... hopefully it will pass. Iv had enough of all this emotional rollercoaster b*llocks. But hey, its good that you can actually say you dont want her back..good going teach me!!! hehe
Just Visiting Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 I know, I am in the same stage as well. I find myself waiting and/or wondering if my ex is going to initiate contact, when reality he is engaged to be married now. It is probably pride more than anything. You want them to come back begging for a reconciliation just to throw it back.
GB111 Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Listen, after what this woman did to me, YOU wouldn't ever talk to them again either. I have no idea how I allowed myself to get myself in such a pit of despair, but I did. It's only been 1.5 weeks of total NC, but I know that anyone who could do what she did to me is NOT someone I want to spend my life with. That's why I feel like such a jerk for WANTING her to come back. It's clearly just so I can give her a taste of what she did to me and rebuild my self-confidence and pride a bit. Very immature, I know. I hope to get to a point where I don't give a damn if she wants me or not, and don't care if I get to "get her back for doing this to me". That's the true sign of being, maybe not completely "over" someone, but at least being mature enough to accept that there was no future with that person...
Numbheart Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 GB111 Ive read many of your posts and always find myself to be agreeing with you 100% on nearly everything you say. but at least being mature enough to accept that there was no future with that person... That is bible!!.....whenever anyone gets to that point, then the way forwards is so much easier. We may all know it and understand it, but feelings cloud things, fly through the clouds and see the sun in its glory.
Author panthera_leo Posted May 11, 2006 Author Posted May 11, 2006 but at least being mature enough to accept that there was no future with that person... See this is my exact problem. Due to the circumstances, in my case I cant completely accept that its over. He told me "somewhere down the line" he's hoping to get back together, but just not now. Thats extremely selfish in my opinion and im not going to put my life on hold to wait for him...whatever. It gets me angry to think he could put me in this situation. Subconsciously my mind wont let go. GB what did she do to you that made you feel that way? I do believe that being angry helps you to accept that its over and move on. I guess breaking my heart is enough to make me angry, i just have to apply it! feelings cloud things, fly through the clouds and see the sun in its glory. ok so this makes me feel a lil better. Im sure i'll get to this stage at some time... or at least i hope so!
Numbheart Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 ok so this makes me feel a lil better. Im sure i'll get to this stage at some time... or at least i hope so! Believe me you will:D no one can say when it will happen:rolleyes: but trust me it will happen, maybe overnight, it may be months down the line, or next week.....with me, I can be feeling lower than low, then suddenly "wham" it all hits me an I never look back:D I think its happened with me today, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I really wasnt ready for this (took me by surprise) although it took a relapse and a lot of in depth searching...but I'm now thinking life is great!!....havent thought that for a while I can tell you!
GB111 Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Ok, Numbheart, so here's the abridged version. Two reasons I haven't gone into ANY detail before: 1. I was truly pathetic. Anyone reading this MUST be saying I'm an idiot or a glutton for punishment. It's embarrassing. 2. It's a long, sordid story. As promised, here's the ABRIDGED version. Ok, so, lets call her "E". So, day after Valentine's, E decides to break up with me after almost 1 year together. I take it remarkably well at the time, give her my stuff out of the car, and leave. Can't sleep that night. Text her the next day that I miss her and we should try to work things out. She does not call. NC the next day. Next week, she calls me. "I miss you". I go to lunch with her. I say "lets get together and talk. She says ok. Well, she does not show up at the assigned time and place. Does not answer the phone. I ring her phone off the hook until I fall asleep out of sheer exhaustion. Next day, the phone is disconnected. Number changed. I see her at the gym the next day. She agrees to call so we can talk. Does not call at the time agreed upon. Next day. "I PROMISE I'm coming over tonight to talk to you. Guess what... NO SHOW!!! (I know, shocker). She calls me, middle of the night one evening after NC: "GB, I love you. I miss you. I want to be with only you forever." "I need a woman who will be with me when times are tough, times are good, sick, healthy, rich, poor, etc., etc." "What about the other guy" "He's gone" "Did you make love to him?" "Yes, only twice and I thought of you the whole time" (PUUULEASE!) "Ok, lets talk" Back together, but no real significant time together. Honestly don't remember how she broke up with me THIS time. Few days later, she says she does want to get back together, but she doesn't have time for a relationship right now. I say, ok, well, call me when you do... I go to San Diego for work. Buy her a couple of small token items to show I still care. Go to her house to give them to her after I return. She's on the sofa with another man. Beautiful. I am infuriated, and leave. I have lunch with her the next day and ask her if that's who she wants to be with. She's "confused" and doesn't know if she loves him. We don't talk for a while (week, maybe?) She comes to my house at 10:00PM. I show her my new house as I had just moved. We sit down on the sofa, and she attacks me. Asks if I want sex, loves me, wants to have my children. Wants to get married. Etc. I say I don't want sex as I'm confused. She leaves. I have lunch with her the next day. She's sweet and nice, etc., etc. See her at the gym, she doesn't think she's ready to jump back in. I'm back on my rear. About another week passes. We see each other each day, but only at the gym. She's still very sweet to me, but doesn't want to get involved yet. Finally, one day she tells me that she'd like to get together and talk about things. I say "ok", but frankly, don't take it very seriously. She calls me 15 min. before I'm *evidently* supposed to meet her, and she says "are you coming?" I say, ummm I'm eating right now, but I'll come by. Go to the restaurant, she's sitting and has already bought me a sandwich. I eat it, we reconcile. Ok, good. Go to her house to sleep that night. Everything is fine. Wake up in the morning; go to work. Everything is fine. 2:00PM. Phone rings. "I don't love you. I don't want to be with you. I don't want you to be my Son's Father" Ok, I'm such an emotional wreck by now that I'm not thinking rationally. I go to talk to her to find out what happened, and she desperately wants to be "friends". I go with her to pick up her child (yes, this person has a 3 year old). I'm somewhat of a pest about what happened. She says she's not sure she wants to end it for good. When I drop her off she asks if I'd like help working on my house that evening. I say "sure". Never shows. "I'm sick". (If this woman was sick every time she used that excuse, she'd be a friggin one person leper colony). No significant contact for a while (keeping in mind that I see her in the gym EVERY day and she's always sweet and charming). I jokingly say "I have something to do tonight, why don't you make me dinner?". She says "ok". Well, of course by this point I know she has NO intention of bringing me dinner. I say, "ok, what time?" She says "8:00". Well, of course the time comes and goes. I call to dig at her and say "what happened?" By this time I'm at a bar having a drink and a bite. She says "Oh, I'm coming. 9:00." Ok, I say "Call me when you're on your way" b/c I'm not leaving to meet someone that isn't coming. She calls. I say ok, I'm leaving. She says "Are you with another woman?" (BTW, she asks me this nearly ANY time I'm away from her and talk to her.) I say no. She comes over. Watches a Soap. I put my head in her lap. She strokes my hair. She leaves after her soap. Next week is her B-day. I say "lets go out to dinner on Friday for your birthday". Now, at this point, I know I'm sounding pathetic, but I'm really low on myself by now. Oh, and you have to admit it's actually pretty damn funny and will be to me when I can look back on it without feeling like a victim. She comes over Friday, 2 hrs. late. Now, she just wants to sit and watch her soap. No dinner. I'm pissed. I go out back to play with my dog. She comes running out the back door. "I have to go pick up my Son, but I'm coming back to spend the night!" Guess what, she doesn't come back. SHOCKING! Friday night RUINED! I have lunch with her next day. "What happened?". "Oh, my Son fell asleep"; "Why didn't you call?"; "My cell was in the car". Pig. Broken up. Week passes. Gym. Lift with her. She asks if I'd like to get back together. I say "no". "I want you to be committed and know that I COULD be a good Father to your Son." She is OBSESSED with the idea that I don't like kids because I had the audacity to teach her Son to say "Please" and "Thank You". She does not call. Go to her house the next morn. She informs me that she's with another man. I go nuts. She WILL NOT talk to me. Says she's coming by my house in an hour. I wait. She doesn't show. Tells me there was no man in her house, but since I'm always asking if there is, she decided to tell me there was to get me to leave her alone. Great strategy. Broken up. Don't see her for a while. Friday before Easter. I see her at lunch. Bring her and her co-workers an Easter Lilly and Easter baskets for their children. I say to her "I'm glad you're my friend, but you're a friend only." She's visibly upset and says she wants more. I say "What do you want???"; "I want us to be together" Idiot GB says "ok". She says "What are you doing for Easter"; "Nothing special, would you like to come over for dinner" (She was not going to a family members, so I thought it would be nice to ask). She says "GREAT!" See her the next day. She is AS COLD AS ICE. She's dressed like a slut and says she's going to a "family party with her Sister". She has her belly button pierced at this point, and informs me that she's going to get a tattoo on the small of her back and a breast augmentation to look like her OTHER Sister (Whom she's obviously insecurely obsessed with). She asks me to come with her to get something to eat. I do. She WILL NOT talk to me. Insists the party is "family only" and I am not welcome. Remember, we're together again at this point. She asks me to take her cousin back to his car (clearly the ONLY reason I was invited to dinner.) Oh, I later found out she went to a singles club. I go to her house the next day (Easter). She's sleeping on the couch. She's bought a new puppy and is very proud, but does not stir from the sofa to get up. She says "I'm sleeping now. I'll come over later." I say "are you SURE???"; "Yes". Well, remarkably enough, she does. I am cooking a whole chicken, vegetables, potatoes; a nice feast. I go out front to play soccer with her Son. She is despondent. 20 min. after arriving she says "I have to take the puppy to my Sister's house. Call me when dinner is ready." I'm thinking "Ok, rude beyond belief, but the kids scared of the dog, so I understand." SHE NEVER COMES BACK! I eat Easter dinner alone. She will not answer her phone. Gym. Lift with her. She asks if I'd like to get back together. I say "no". "I want you to be committed and know that I COULD be a good Father to your Son." She is OBSESSED with the idea that I don't like kids because I had the audacity to teach her Son to say "Please" and "Thank You". She does not call. Go to her house the next morn. She informs me that she's with another man. I go nuts. She WILL NOT talk to me. Says she's coming by my house in an hour. I wait. She doesn't show. Broken up. NC. 1.5 weeks. Run in to her at the gym. Ask her if there is any hope of reconciliation. She WILL NOT even acknowledge anything I say. Finally, she says "We will never be anything more than friends. NEVER!". I say "Ok, E. I will always love you. When I say it, I mean it". I leave. Call her briefly to say that I'm sorry, and that I hope we can be friends in time. She's very receptive. Find out later that evening that she's dating ANOTHER man. Classy. NC. End of story. I am done, finished. Anyone who can put up with that can have her. BTW, in defense of myself, I am not stupid, I am not desperate, I am not ugly. I really loved her and she played me for a fool. Obviously, I was ok on the back burner until she found what she wanted. Always reeled in just enough and let out the line just enough. Most shocking is the battery of lies and deceit which I only learn about much later. Oh well, I'm recovering. Sorry for the long post, but obviously, this is the SHORT version. Hope you enjoyed this pathetic story of love and abuse. I am an utter wreck right now, but I WILL come out of this a stronger person. I have never felt so stupid, used, and abused in my whole life. Oh, and at this point, I'm sure you're looking for reference points. She's 28, I'm 39 so we are NOT children. Oh, and she's raising a child who has now been exposed to her sleeping with 3 men in 3 months but I'm not good enough to be his Father. Hmmm. BTW, this story is frameable, wall mountable, and fun for kids. Best, GB
KittenMoon Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 GB- That post was STAGGERING. I am so sorry for you, but really, it's so terrible it's almost funny! Your ex definetly gets the CRAZY Award from me. You are better off alone. Heck, you're probably better off alone and surrounded by crocodiles and grizzly bears. :lmao:
Guest Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Ok, Numbheart, so here's the abridged version. Two reasons I haven't gone into ANY detail before: 1. I was truly pathetic. Anyone reading this MUST be saying I'm an idiot or a glutton for punishment. It's embarrassing. 2. It's a long, sordid story. As promised, here's the ABRIDGED version. Ok, so, lets call her "E". So, day after Valentine's, E decides to break up with me after almost 1 year together. I take it remarkably well at the time, give her my stuff out of the car, and leave. Can't sleep that night. Text her the next day that I miss her and we should try to work things out. She does not call. NC the next day. Next week, she calls me. "I miss you". I go to lunch with her. I say "lets get together and talk. She says ok. Well, she does not show up at the assigned time and place. Does not answer the phone. I ring her phone off the hook until I fall asleep out of sheer exhaustion. Next day, the phone is disconnected. Number changed. I see her at the gym the next day. She agrees to call so we can talk. Does not call at the time agreed upon. Next day. "I PROMISE I'm coming over tonight to talk to you. Guess what... NO SHOW!!! (I know, shocker). She calls me, middle of the night one evening after NC: "GB, I love you. I miss you. I want to be with only you forever." "I need a woman who will be with me when times are tough, times are good, sick, healthy, rich, poor, etc., etc." "What about the other guy" "He's gone" "Did you make love to him?" "Yes, only twice and I thought of you the whole time" (PUUULEASE!) "Ok, lets talk" Back together, but no real significant time together. Honestly don't remember how she broke up with me THIS time. Few days later, she says she does want to get back together, but she doesn't have time for a relationship right now. I say, ok, well, call me when you do... I go to San Diego for work. Buy her a couple of small token items to show I still care. Go to her house to give them to her after I return. She's on the sofa with another man. Beautiful. I am infuriated, and leave. I have lunch with her the next day and ask her if that's who she wants to be with. She's "confused" and doesn't know if she loves him. We don't talk for a while (week, maybe?) She comes to my house at 10:00PM. I show her my new house as I had just moved. We sit down on the sofa, and she attacks me. Asks if I want sex, loves me, wants to have my children. Wants to get married. Etc. I say I don't want sex as I'm confused. She leaves. I have lunch with her the next day. She's sweet and nice, etc., etc. See her at the gym, she doesn't think she's ready to jump back in. I'm back on my rear. About another week passes. We see each other each day, but only at the gym. She's still very sweet to me, but doesn't want to get involved yet. Finally, one day she tells me that she'd like to get together and talk about things. I say "ok", but frankly, don't take it very seriously. She calls me 15 min. before I'm *evidently* supposed to meet her, and she says "are you coming?" I say, ummm I'm eating right now, but I'll come by. Go to the restaurant, she's sitting and has already bought me a sandwich. I eat it, we reconcile. Ok, good. Go to her house to sleep that night. Everything is fine. Wake up in the morning; go to work. Everything is fine. 2:00PM. Phone rings. "I don't love you. I don't want to be with you. I don't want you to be my Son's Father" Ok, I'm such an emotional wreck by now that I'm not thinking rationally. I go to talk to her to find out what happened, and she desperately wants to be "friends". I go with her to pick up her child (yes, this person has a 3 year old). I'm somewhat of a pest about what happened. She says she's not sure she wants to end it for good. When I drop her off she asks if I'd like help working on my house that evening. I say "sure". Never shows. "I'm sick". (If this woman was sick every time she used that excuse, she'd be a friggin one person leper colony). No significant contact for a while (keeping in mind that I see her in the gym EVERY day and she's always sweet and charming). I jokingly say "I have something to do tonight, why don't you make me dinner?". She says "ok". Well, of course by this point I know she has NO intention of bringing me dinner. I say, "ok, what time?" She says "8:00". Well, of course the time comes and goes. I call to dig at her and say "what happened?" By this time I'm at a bar having a drink and a bite. She says "Oh, I'm coming. 9:00." Ok, I say "Call me when you're on your way" b/c I'm not leaving to meet someone that isn't coming. She calls. I say ok, I'm leaving. She says "Are you with another woman?" (BTW, she asks me this nearly ANY time I'm away from her and talk to her.) I say no. She comes over. Watches a Soap. I put my head in her lap. She strokes my hair. She leaves after her soap. Next week is her B-day. I say "lets go out to dinner on Friday for your birthday". Now, at this point, I know I'm sounding pathetic, but I'm really low on myself by now. Oh, and you have to admit it's actually pretty damn funny and will be to me when I can look back on it without feeling like a victim. She comes over Friday, 2 hrs. late. Now, she just wants to sit and watch her soap. No dinner. I'm pissed. I go out back to play with my dog. She comes running out the back door. "I have to go pick up my Son, but I'm coming back to spend the night!" Guess what, she doesn't come back. SHOCKING! Friday night RUINED! I have lunch with her next day. "What happened?". "Oh, my Son fell asleep"; "Why didn't you call?"; "My cell was in the car". Pig. Broken up. Week passes. Gym. Lift with her. She asks if I'd like to get back together. I say "no". "I want you to be committed and know that I COULD be a good Father to your Son." She is OBSESSED with the idea that I don't like kids because I had the audacity to teach her Son to say "Please" and "Thank You". She does not call. Go to her house the next morn. She informs me that she's with another man. I go nuts. She WILL NOT talk to me. Says she's coming by my house in an hour. I wait. She doesn't show. Tells me there was no man in her house, but since I'm always asking if there is, she decided to tell me there was to get me to leave her alone. Great strategy. Broken up. Don't see her for a while. Friday before Easter. I see her at lunch. Bring her and her co-workers an Easter Lilly and Easter baskets for their children. I say to her "I'm glad you're my friend, but you're a friend only." She's visibly upset and says she wants more. I say "What do you want???"; "I want us to be together" Idiot GB says "ok". She says "What are you doing for Easter"; "Nothing special, would you like to come over for dinner" (She was not going to a family members, so I thought it would be nice to ask). She says "GREAT!" See her the next day. She is AS COLD AS ICE. She's dressed like a slut and says she's going to a "family party with her Sister". She has her belly button pierced at this point, and informs me that she's going to get a tattoo on the small of her back and a breast augmentation to look like her OTHER Sister (Whom she's obviously insecurely obsessed with). She asks me to come with her to get something to eat. I do. She WILL NOT talk to me. Insists the party is "family only" and I am not welcome. Remember, we're together again at this point. She asks me to take her cousin back to his car (clearly the ONLY reason I was invited to dinner.) Oh, I later found out she went to a singles club. I go to her house the next day (Easter). She's sleeping on the couch. She's bought a new puppy and is very proud, but does not stir from the sofa to get up. She says "I'm sleeping now. I'll come over later." I say "are you SURE???"; "Yes". Well, remarkably enough, she does. I am cooking a whole chicken, vegetables, potatoes; a nice feast. I go out front to play soccer with her Son. She is despondent. 20 min. after arriving she says "I have to take the puppy to my Sister's house. Call me when dinner is ready." I'm thinking "Ok, rude beyond belief, but the kids scared of the dog, so I understand." SHE NEVER COMES BACK! I eat Easter dinner alone. She will not answer her phone. Gym. Lift with her. She asks if I'd like to get back together. I say "no". "I want you to be committed and know that I COULD be a good Father to your Son." She is OBSESSED with the idea that I don't like kids because I had the audacity to teach her Son to say "Please" and "Thank You". She does not call. Go to her house the next morn. She informs me that she's with another man. I go nuts. She WILL NOT talk to me. Says she's coming by my house in an hour. I wait. She doesn't show. Broken up. NC. 1.5 weeks. Run in to her at the gym. Ask her if there is any hope of reconciliation. She WILL NOT even acknowledge anything I say. Finally, she says "We will never be anything more than friends. NEVER!". I say "Ok, E. I will always love you. When I say it, I mean it". I leave. Call her briefly to say that I'm sorry, and that I hope we can be friends in time. She's very receptive. Find out later that evening that she's dating ANOTHER man. Classy. NC. End of story. I am done, finished. Anyone who can put up with that can have her. BTW, in defense of myself, I am not stupid, I am not desperate, I am not ugly. I really loved her and she played me for a fool. Obviously, I was ok on the back burner until she found what she wanted. Always reeled in just enough and let out the line just enough. Most shocking is the battery of lies and deceit which I only learn about much later. Oh well, I'm recovering. Sorry for the long post, but obviously, this is the SHORT version. Hope you enjoyed this pathetic story of love and abuse. I am an utter wreck right now, but I WILL come out of this a stronger person. I have never felt so stupid, used, and abused in my whole life. Oh, and at this point, I'm sure you're looking for reference points. She's 28, I'm 39 so we are NOT children. Oh, and she's raising a child who has now been exposed to her sleeping with 3 men in 3 months but I'm not good enough to be his Father. Hmmm. BTW, this story is frameable, wall mountable, and fun for kids. Best, GB cant believe my eyes. i hope u never talk 2 her again. what a dumb bitch!!!!
GB111 Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 You know, now that I've taken the time to actually write all this down, I think it might deserve it's own post! See if anyone can top it. What the heck, lets have a little fun with it. Maybe someone will feel less bad about their situation if they see what can happen.
Pantero Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 Oh boy, am I struggling with that. Probably 50% of the time. I keep telling myself she'll wake up and want to be with me again, despite making it quite clear she will not. Good news is I wouldn't have her back, so I guess it's a pride thing. I want to be able to throw the opportunity she had in her face. Real productive, GB, real productive... I didn't go through what you went through, but that's normal. Hell, I wanted to do the same, but after a month or two of NC (hard as it was at first), I actually felt sorry for HER (you can find my first post here about it). Now, I don't care. I wonder what's going on with her, but don't get that staggering pang of guilt or anger over it anymore. I so...SO wanted her to come back just for me to say "f-ck off". Forget maturity, you just can't believe the hurt and the self-pity one goes through when they get f'ed around with. I think it's only natural to want some sort of vengeance...but over time even that flame slowly snuffs itself out and gives rise to newer interests. You sound like a smart guy, and you're older than me, so that's a given . I'm sure you'll be fine. Good luck, man.
Pantero Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 GRrrrrr! Why on earth do i feel like im going BACKWARDS instead of FORWARDS! These past few days i've been waking up thinking everything will be fine and he'll come back. It feels like this is only temporary!!! WHY!? STOP IT WOMAN! GET A GRIP! Just wondering if any of you out there get the same... urg im bored of this feeling... You're going to have your good days and your bad days. I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir here, but hey - that's why we're all here! Vent! Let it out! Then move on cleansed...
GB111 Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 Thanks Pantero. BTW, to make the situation a bit more ridiculous, I'm Ivy League educated, have my MBA, earn well in to the six figures, have a beautiful house in an upscale neighborhood, and have no problem meeting women. She is a maid, makes $9.00/hour, no education, an illegitimate child, and a condo she has to have 3 people in to afford the mortgage. She is very attractive, but she's also 28. Best years are behind her. I'm not bragging, but it goes to show that love is blind. I don't know why I care, but I do! Guess the sex was good! Oh well, all this will make it easier (I hope!)
been7077 Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 Wow, GB, quite a story! It makes mine look tame. This lady was not stable in anyway. You were totally used, and I think many of us find ourselves there at one time or another, but you have made the break and will be better for it. You can take some satisfaction, if that's what you would want, in the fact that the cosmic wheel will turn for her too, and fling all that muck back at her. I'm "retro-relating" at this point and feeling quite the stress of it all. Hang in there.
Numbheart Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 BLIMEY! Amazed but not, nothing much surprises me with relationships nowadays and how people react to them...but still quite a story GB Your ex certainly sounds like she is one sandwich short of a picnic and completely lacked any respect for your feelings. You and I sound like we were in a similar situation regarding backgrounds and exs and similar ages (Im 37 she was 27). One person has said to me that we were simply on different plains and from how your story comes across it sounds like you are far more emotionally mature than she is or probably ever will be!...still does not stop us from getting suckered into them though!
Author panthera_leo Posted May 12, 2006 Author Posted May 12, 2006 Wow GB, now that really puts things in perspective. Im glad you have found the strength inside you to realise she is a total b!tch and you're much better off without her. Some of us get trapped in a place where we think its ok... its not until we back off that we realise something was REALLY wrong. Now i guess you have all the energy you need to move on... its the beginning of a long journey but there is an end
GB111 Posted May 12, 2006 Posted May 12, 2006 Thank you all for your replies and well wishes. I truly am shocked myself that I was able to deal with all that. BTW, while all this is going on, I'm moving to a new house, and my company is going through a merger with massive layoffs. In retrospect, I probably wouldn't have put up with all this crap if everything else wasn't such a mess. The good news, for all of us, is that I feel remarkably better each day. I think the most difficult part is crossing the mental line where you decide you simply will not suffer any longer or, in my case, being told that it is definitively OVER. Once you cross that line, I'm amazed at how rapidly you can (and will) heal. Best of luck to all of you. You have been a source of inspiration and support. Trust that although I now feel remarkably better (though far from complete recovery), I will stick around in the hopes I can help others avoid the mistakes I have made. Wishing you all the best! Regards, GB
Author panthera_leo Posted May 13, 2006 Author Posted May 13, 2006 Ok so... i swear everything happens because its meant to. You know from my post that i've been in denial about the breakup... believing that he'll come back.. and this is all a bad phase or whatever. Well last night i went to my friends... i told her how i felt and she said you really have to know something. Fair enough... my ex had spoken to her, he apparently sounded quite bitter and said "im never going back there" and "i've moved on". After 7 weeks :/ Great! I guess thats what i need to hear to stop feeling like im going backwards. The only way now IS forward. Im angry because he didn't have the balls to say it to my face. I'd love to know what he feels bitter about, iv not spoken to him for 2 months! Anyways... here's to a new tomorrow!
GB111 Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 I'm sorry, Panthera. That's what it took for me to finally move on. Perhaps, as for me, it will be easier now. I hope so. Best, GB
sirjay Posted May 15, 2006 Posted May 15, 2006 I have had my share of screwed up women in my time but that's really awful. I'm sorry you have been treated that way. From what you say, I think she has major emotional issues from her past and also it sounds to me like subconsciously she doesn't feel that she deserves you. Forget her. You deserve way better.
Whitt Posted May 15, 2006 Posted May 15, 2006 How do you get to the point where, in your subconcious mind, you know it is over for sure?
Guest Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 I am feeling the same way. I keep thinking that I am going to wake up and everything is going to be okay...or that he will see that he made a mistake...or maybe I can win him back. I think deep down I know that I can't do that...it is nice to think that I can fix things...I guess I need to try and tell myself that things will get better...someday I can move on. It is just so hard though when you love someone so much still and all you want to do is be with them. I think that my ex just wants to be friends with me now...I really don't know how I am going to handle this. Sorry I'm not much help...all I can say is take it one day at a time like I am...eventually maybe we will realize that we need to move on.
stronggirl Posted June 30, 2006 Posted June 30, 2006 GB- That post was STAGGERING. I am so sorry for you, but really, it's so terrible it's almost funny! Your ex definetly gets the CRAZY Award from me. You are better off alone. Heck, you're probably better off alone and surrounded by crocodiles and grizzly bears. :lmao: I agree GB, that is gut wrenching.......
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