chuffingnora Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]This isn't about an LDR as such - but my crush is living in America and I really would love somebody to please give me some advice on the following...[/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]My friend left the UK and moved over to America a year ago and has since started a fabulous new life. I recently got in contact with him and we hooked up over the internet and have talked on numerous occasions. It was not until very recently that we realized we both had a mutual crush on each other 4 years ago - we were both with other partners at the time, although we were secretly craving to be with each other.[/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I am on the verge of completing my studies in the UK and can just about live with all this - we're both sad that nothing came of it but both realize that it is afterall all in the past. My problem now is, I plan to go backpacking for a few months within the next year or so and I naturally feel tempted to go over there and see him. Judging by the tone of our flirty little conversations, I have an incling that something will come of it and I'm terrified of getting my heart broken and having any potential LDR baggage left over from my trip. Also, he has just started a new relationship and if they're still together next year, I'm afraid of getting in the way of what they have - or even going over there, wanting something to happen and for it to be a disappointment.[/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Don't know whether this matters, but there's a 7 year age gap between us and he keeps telling me intimate details about how he used to feel about me... Is this a good sign or is he just a plain old flirt?![/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Obviously, as nothing has happened yet, the idea of it becoming a long distance relationship is pretty extreme - although it does remain conceivable, I guess. Any advice would be absolutely great - do I go and see him and risk major heartbreak or just accept that I'm never going to see him again and risk losing him forever???[/sIZE][/FONT]
Guest Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 LDR's arent very kind. Im in one right now and it's frustrating. You have more of a relationship with your phone and computer than each other. There are also trust and security issues to worry about. Now, i'm not trying to be negative, but it's a fact. Self experience so to speak. And also, didnt you say both of you had feelings for each other a long time ago, even when you were attached? Well, dont be so sure it wont happen again on both parties. Especially if you pursue this LDR. 'Also, he has just started a new relationship and if they're still together next year, I'm afraid of getting in the way of what they have - or even going over there, wanting something to happen and for it to be a disappointment... Is this a good sign or is he just a plain old flirt?!' Wow. I'd say that's a bad sign. You wouldnt want to be that girl he's in the relationship with do you? And why are you wasting your time on another person's partner? You're going backpacking soon and you're bound to meet lots of people. I'd say forget it. But give it a thought or two and weigh out the pros and cons. Just dont be surprised if you find yourself crying alone in your bathroom once you or him start getting cold because of frustration. Sorry if this was bad advice but it's the truth nonetheless. Good luck and think carefully.
Bite_To_Break_Skin Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 I'm in a long distance relationship at the moment. She's in Canada and I'm in the States. I moved there to be with her, but because of financial problems due to my inability to legally work there I had to move back. I've only been away from her for 2 months, but I'm already making plans to go back. We both realized that we'd rather struggle financially than be apart. Money isn't everything. Finding the one person that can make you happy is rare. I hope this helps.
Recommended Posts