UT_longhorn Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Hey guys...hope everyone's doing alright. For those of you who don't know my story, basically my ex broke up with me a little over 4 months ago, and its been basically no contact since. i hear around the block that she might be seeing someone new. for some reason when i heard that a few weeks ago, it really helped me to push over some sort of wall and helped me recover some. so for the past couple of weeks i was feeling pretty good about things, and felt good about my road to recovery. then for no good reason, this past week since sunday, i felt like i had been flung into month 1 of the breakup. it hurt like it had just happened and i actually had to go into a private room at work to weep, something i had not done in a very long while. have anyone of you experienced anything like this? a huge setback all of a sudden? i feel a little better today, but this past week is something that i hope i never have again. i really felt desperate. what was that? is that some sort of relapse? is that natural?
Guitar Wizard Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Yeah, it’s perfectly normal, the deepest wounds inflicted on a human are those inflicted by the pain of loss. Time is the only known healer of wounds of the heart, and even then it still leaves a scar. Some, bigger then others. Anyway, just try to be strong, focus on your life, what makes you happy. Spend time with your friends, let them help you through your hardship, when encountered with a dark and ominous path friends can always be a beacon of support. So, just don’t dwell too much on your pain, and focus on everything else. Keep your mind busy for long enough, and eventually your pain will slowly recede.
lovelorcet Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Yup has happened to me as well, when a break-up starts it is like jumping on a rollercoaster. There are big ups and downs and for the most part you never see them coming. And just when you think that everything has leveled out a bit the next dip comes. Just keep in mind, this is only temporary and yes this too will pass!!
KittenMoon Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Hey UT- Feel better. The rollercoaster sucks, I know. I don't even like them in real life! I've been waking up lately and thinking about how much I miss m ex, and I wake up in the mornings with such overwhelming despair that getting up seems horrible. But my mom said something smart to me- that when this sort of stuff happens sometimes we just get into the habit of the pain. Like biting fingernails, it ends up happening without you even realizing because it really is becoming like a habit. I guess all we can try to do is break up out it in little bits.
Author UT_longhorn Posted May 11, 2006 Author Posted May 11, 2006 hey guys...thanks for the replies. this last slide was really amazing cause i haven't cried for months. it really did feel like week one. i mean i would expect after 4+ months, the roller coasters wouldn't be so drastic. I felt like i was walking thu a hazy dream the past months, where i couldn't believe that the pain was real. finally, the fog of being in a hellish wonderland has subsided some...or maybe it is becoming a habit. i know...everyone says time will heal. this too shall pass...etc...i guess i am being impatient. i just want the old me back.
THX2000 Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Hey guys...hope everyone's doing alright. For those of you who don't know my story, basically my ex broke up with me a little over 4 months ago, and its been basically no contact since. i hear around the block that she might be seeing someone new. for some reason when i heard that a few weeks ago, it really helped me to push over some sort of wall and helped me recover some. so for the past couple of weeks i was feeling pretty good about things, and felt good about my road to recovery. then for no good reason, this past week since sunday, i felt like i had been flung into month 1 of the breakup. it hurt like it had just happened and i actually had to go into a private room at work to weep, something i had not done in a very long while. have anyone of you experienced anything like this? a huge setback all of a sudden? i feel a little better today, but this past week is something that i hope i never have again. i really felt desperate. what was that? is that some sort of relapse? is that natural? I hear ya my man. I experienced all the same stuff you are going through and then some. Embrace the pain and go with it. Let it all out and try and understand where it comes from and where it is going to take you from here. I know that sounds so cliche but I can tell you from experience it helps. I used to get consumed by the loss of my relationship when I was alone in my hot tub (used to really enjoy spending time there with her) and get really upset. Eventually I just stopped trying to not think about it or avoid the pain and embraced it. It hurt like a bitch but when you let the emotions come through and experience them you will deal with them and get over them quicker.
Numbheart Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Yup, just suffered a huge relapse today and yesterday. Its been over a month since my split, really nearly 4 weeks of NC but just over 2 for true NC (last time we spoke was to get a phone number for someone) I got to a point today of drafting out a text, read it, re-re-re-read it an eventually thought WTF am I doing here!......"IF" I'm gonna do anything its going to be at least another month and it certainly wont be anything as pathetic as my message today was, so stay strong and stop myself doing this now. We all get moments of weakness, we tend to justify it in our own mind that its all good and honest to say and do how we feel, an anyone with a heart will respond well to it, but if we try and look at how "they" may be feeling about things (and I honestly have no idea about my ex currently) then how will they recieve it? Its been a huge turning point for me today, almost from one extreme to the other, I'm now confident I will hold out as long as I keep thinking along the right frame of mind, sometimes its just too easy to give in to temptation.
laRubiaBonita Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 if you do contact the ex it takes you back a few steps into the recovery...... be strong work through the temptations.
augustus Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Hey UT, I am going through the exact same thing you are describing right now... I'm at just about 4 months of NC... I was starting to feel much better... kept really busy, etc... Then about a week and a half ago I too started to feel worse, started to obsess... I'm pretty sure its part of the process but sometimes when you are in that space, you just can't see the forrest for the trees...try not to beat yourself up over it, its a natural process, eventually you'll feel better, but as the others mentioned, its a roller coaster ride and a half... Remember, nothing in this world is permanent... Hope you feel better soon...
deb301952 Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Hey guys...hope everyone's doing alright. For those of you who don't know my story, basically my ex broke up with me a little over 4 months ago, and its been basically no contact since. i hear around the block that she might be seeing someone new. for some reason when i heard that a few weeks ago, it really helped me to push over some sort of wall and helped me recover some. so for the past couple of weeks i was feeling pretty good about things, and felt good about my road to recovery. then for no good reason, this past week since sunday, i felt like i had been flung into month 1 of the breakup. it hurt like it had just happened and i actually had to go into a private room at work to weep, something i had not done in a very long while. have anyone of you experienced anything like this? a huge setback all of a sudden? i feel a little better today, but this past week is something that i hope i never have again. i really felt desperate. what was that? is that some sort of relapse? is that natural? I too have been going on that roller coaster ride and i want off! it has been just a month and a half since no contact with boyfriends and i know they say time heals all but i am not starting to think otherwisw. Maybe i just havent given it the right amount of time. I do a lot of praying over this and it helps. I was in a very dysfunctional over 3 year involvment with a man. he is an alcoholic and is an abuser and controller to boot. I know I am better off without him and all that he brought to the relationship but i still miss the good times when they were there. In all of it i believe it was me who needed to learn a few things about me instead of always thinking it was him who needed to do so. I was raised in the same type of thing growing up and followed suit here as well. Time will help and i am using it to my advantage this time. he always said that all his other women let them selves go to s*** when it ended but i am taking it as a learning experience and workong on me and he will see that one day. I dont even like him anymore but still have all these nutty thoughts about why and what ifs.........truth is........it never should have been.
Recommended Posts