Shell Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 I have lived with my guy for nearly a year now but some of his behaviour causes me to be suspicious. A bit of background might help - when we met he admitted to being heavily in debt - and i mean heavily! He lied about the amount though (said £45.000, but was actually £81,000). He took out an IVA to pay it off. Still hasn't told me true amount so left it at that. He is 31 and I am 48. He moved in but we didnt't really plan it - it just seemed a natural thing to do(he previously lived at home). As months have passed some of his behaviour seems really secretive. When his post arrives (he has it re-directed) he opens some in front of me (usually junk mail), and the rest (e.g. bank statements) opens later (he will tear open a corner to see what it is then hide away the letter). He has 2 accounts but for one of them, he leaves his statement on the worktop for all to see. He has told me what he earns etc and what he saves and he knows my situation. Its his money I know, but it makes me feel like he is hiding something. Am i wrong to feel this way? He also has some shares which he said he didnt cash in when they went up, but i found out that he did cash them in. I approached him about the money and future situation for us and asked again about the shares (he said he didnt sell them)I said that I wanted him to be able to save something, but he just got very anxious and said (as usual that he doesnt like talking about himself). How can I trust him if he cant be open an honest. By the way - he is an introvert and a pretty quiet person. At the end of the day, I have my house as security, but he has nothing. His IVF isnt paid of for another 5 years and I worry that he is just staying with me until he gets on his feet. He said this is not the case, but hes not going to admit it is he. Other than all this, we do get on well but if I admit to knowing hes lied, he is going to feel like i have been snooping on him (which im ashamed to say - I have, but not without good reason) Your views would be much appreciated. Sorry this is so long, but even now its just touched the surface.
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