hiraka Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 My bf and I have been together since July of last year. We have meet 2 times now. One for a little over 2 weeks and the most recent one for a little over 1 month. From our talks, we both want to have closer living arrangements and there has been no pressure on either side who will go where. We decided that we should first save up money. (He lives at home, and I live in a house my mom pays for, so neither of us is 100% self reliant. To move in together, we will probably have to be self reliant since I am uncertain if my mom will continue to provide help.) Here is the problem: I got a job maybe end of August since my former ex-bf was supporting me and when I broke up with him, my mom had to help and I wanted to help with expenses as well and also to have money to spend on things I want on occasions. My bf, on the other hand, has never had a real job. After the first time he visited Oct/Nov, he said he was going to look for a job... but let's just say he never did. When our next get together was planned, it would have been inconvient for him to get a job and then take a month off so soon. So I agreed that it probably isn't best just yet. Well, his one month visit ended early this month. He has made no mention to me that he is looking for a job. We had a big discussion in the past about how disappointed that he didn't bother looking for a job last time when he said he would because there would be no way to have closer living arrangements without money. I asked if he was still serious of it and he said it was. Now for the question: How long should I wait before saying anything? Or asking if he has even looked for a job? We do spend a lot of time online together, but if you have to do something, you have to do it... unless you don't want to do it. If he doesn't want to get a job, it's over for us. I've told him in the past that I am looking for a serious relationship and to find the person I want to spend the rest of my life with (and he said he felt the same). I don't know. I am confused at times... What he says and his actions or lack of just seem different to me. Or it can be that I am too impatient. We do have a little over 5 years of age difference (he is mid 20s). I have lived on my own since I was 18 and he still lives at home. Am I expecting too much? Should I say something? or should I just let it be and drift... I do care for him greatly and never before cared so much about a person that it hurts that he doesn't seem to want to be together so bad to make the most effort he can to get it. Advice please....
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