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What if the other person is desperate?


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Posted

The person that I'm dating now is very desperate. That person wants very much to get married. I think the person loves being in love. What's the best course of action? If one is aloof, this makes the other person more insecure and anxious. If one reciprocates, it becomes difficult to understand if the other person just likes to be in love and is trying too hard to be agreeable and is unable to express their own opinion. This person does have nice qualities.

 

This person's idea is somewhere along the lines that two people can decide to get married after knowing each other for about 5 dates over a course of 6-8 weeks. I think that it takes a minimum of 12 months, although one can get a hint and a prediction of marriage earlier than that.

Posted

I would think that you two are incompatible, it seems like one would always want one thing, the other would want something else. And never the twain shall meet.

Posted
I would think that you two are incompatible, it seems like one would always want one thing, the other would want something else. And never the twain shall meet.

b_O can you run some numbers and stats on romantic incompatiblity :):lmao:

Posted
b_O can you run some numbers and stats on romantic incompatiblity :):lmao:

 

Sometimes, I wish dating were more like math :)

Posted
The person that I'm dating now is very desperate..

 

RED FLAG!!

 

 

 

This person's idea is somewhere along the lines that two people can decide to get married after knowing each other for about 5 dates over a course of 6-8 weeks. I think that it takes a minimum of 12 months, although one can get a hint and a prediction of marriage earlier than that.

 

I agree that when you've found 'the one' you'd know immediately. That's how my H felt about me after 2 dates. However, since you don't feel the same way about her as she feels about you, do not rush into marrying her. After 5 dates, she can still turn out to be anything! :eek:

 

You don't have to be particularly aloof or compliant. Just be yourself. If she loves you, she will be able to wait until you 'know'.

Posted
b_O can you run some numbers and stats on romantic incompatiblity :):lmao:
Just copy and paste it from all the other threads.
Posted
Sometimes, I wish dating were more like math :)

 

How much easier would that be.

Posted
The person that I'm dating now is very desperate. That person wants very much to get married. I think the person loves being in love. What's the best course of action? If one is aloof, this makes the other person more insecure and anxious. If one reciprocates, it becomes difficult to understand if the other person just likes to be in love and is trying too hard to be agreeable and is unable to express their own opinion. This person does have nice qualities.

 

There is no reason to rush into marriage just because that person wants to 'feel' loved. That is a sign of insecurity and honestly, that 'neediness' and 'desperateness' is a put off - Or will be eventually. Even if this person has nice qualities, they seem to have not 'found' themselves if their opinion changes with the wind and they can't stand up for themselves. Being too agreeable is not good.

 

This person's idea is somewhere along the lines that two people can decide to get married after knowing each other for about 5 dates over a course of 6-8 weeks. I think that it takes a minimum of 12 months, although one can get a hint and a prediction of marriage earlier than that.

 

It is possible to fall inlove and know that one will marry that other person, but BOTH people have to feel that way, not just one. Some are lucky and experience that in life...Yet somehow, I don't think it applies to the person you're talking about at all. I would look at it as a big red flag to slow things down, really get to know eachother and see how it goes.

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