lostsmile Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 He called my cellphone yesterday to see how I was doing!?! I told him okay. Well, that's a lie! Anyway, I now have his new cell #. So, what do I do. My husband was out of town last night on business. MM drives by my house every morning on way to work. We live in the country so easy to spot. When I say him drive by this morning, I call his cell just to say Good Morning! What is wrong with me! My husband has agreed to start marriage counseling next week. I am in a very emotional abusive marriage. After 17 years, I have finally figured out that emotional abuse is a real thing. I am telling myself to work on my marriage and quit thinking about MM.
RealityCheck Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 LostSmile..... Don't be so hard on yourself. I too was in an emotionally abusive marriage only I left after five years, so I can't imagine living in it for 17 years! Quite frankly, these types of people deserve everything they get! For me, I just didn't want to compound the problem in my head space, so I remained loyal until I left. That is not to say, the ex H didn't deserve it! The only reason I remained that long was because I suffered the death of my two children and went into depression. I was not strong enough to leave. Once I recovered from the illness, I left within six months! Do whatever it takes to get yourself out of that situation! It is the most damaging thing someone can do to another human being! I still carry the inner scars from that B*s*ard. To think he still wants me back makes me SICK! Thing is, these types of people don't even think they are causing any harm! Verrrrry sick in the mind. They figure since we don't have visible bruises to the eye, that we should be so grateful! I'll tell you, I NEVER seen this coming! When we met, he was the complete opposite of who he actually is! He hid this from me for two years! They put the "C" in Conartist!!
zarathustra Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 LostSmile..... Don't be so hard on yourself. I too was in an emotionally abusive marriage only I left after five years, so I can't imagine living in it for 17 years! Quite frankly, these types of people deserve everything they get! For me, I just didn't want to compound the problem in my head space, so I remained loyal until I left. That is not to say, the ex H didn't deserve it! The only reason I remained that long was because I suffered the death of my two children and went into depression. I was not strong enough to leave. Once I recovered from the illness, I left within six months! Do whatever it takes to get yourself out of that situation! It is the most damaging thing someone can do to another human being! I still carry the inner scars from that B*s*ard. To think he still wants me back makes me SICK! Thing is, these types of people don't even think they are causing any harm! Verrrrry sick in the mind. They figure since we don't have visible bruises to the eye, that we should be so grateful! I'll tell you, I NEVER seen this coming! When we met, he was the complete opposite of who he actually is! He hid this from me for two years! They put the "C" in Conartist!! Wow... RC... I'm amazed at your life experiences. Sometimes I look at my life and think, heck... life is a bitch! Then I read what you went through and realize I probably don't know grief like you do. I think that there's no greater pain than to lose one's child to death. I'm so sorry to hear that you had to endure that pain. I have been engaged to an emotionally abusive man in the past. I was convinced for the longest time that if I'm patient he will change back to the man I fell in love with. I finally woke up and realized, I'm better than all that s*** and went on with my life. Stoneyheart, I hope that marriage counselling will help you. I think that emotional scars run deeper sometimes than physical scars. My ex-fiance used to tell me I'm fat all the time and that was the reason he was breaking up with me, knowing that I'm a recovering bulimic. Each time he broke up with me, I wouldn't be able to eat or I would fall off the wagon. I think he would break up with me so that I would lose a few pounds, then come back in my life and then do the same thing again. Heck, why didn't he just leave me alone and found someone skinny?!? Sicko. You know what I'm realizing? There's just a lot of sick people out there. Its insane!!
RealityCheck Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 Zara.... You know the o'l saying.... What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger! I can't put into words what it is like to loose a child. Its almost like I went out of body for 2 years. I don't remember much during that period. I don't have any sad childhood stories because we certainly were raised with so much love! When I reached my 20's that's when I was dealt crisis after crisis. I seem to move through situations alot easier than most people since I lost my children. That does not mean I don't feel emotions, I do! Truthfully, nothing surprises me anymore. Like anything, I take what I want/need and leave the rest and refuse to live my life in bitterness. My experiences certainly have paved my career!
zarathustra Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 Zara.... You know the o'l saying.... What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger! I can't put into words what it is like to loose a child. Its almost like I went out of body for 2 years. I don't remember much during that period. I don't have any sad childhood stories because we certainly were raised with so much love! When I reached my 20's that's when I was dealt crisis after crisis. I seem to move through situations alot easier than most people since I lost my children. That does not mean I don't feel emotions, I do! Truthfully, nothing surprises me anymore. Like anything, I take what I want/need and leave the rest and refuse to live my life in bitterness. My experiences certainly have paved my career! You are certainly right about that saying. I think that your life experiences gives you the ability to put things in perspective in ways others may not be able to. I'm just so amazed at your strength. You ROCK!
zarathustra Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 Zara..... Dido Girlfriend! *hug* Hugs right back at ya!
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