Pyro Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 I'm begining to wonder if men cheat because it's in they're nature' date=' or if it is because there are women like summergirl out there... sheesh... [/quote'] Please don't assume that it is in all of our nature to cheat because its not. Some men just don't appreciate the good things in life, meaning a happy and committed relationship.
Tim'sAngel Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Please don't assume that it is in all of our nature to cheat because its not. Some men just don't appreciate the good things in life, meaning a happy and committed relationship. I don't Riddler. My SO has restored my faith in men (I had just about lost it) I was merely making a point but put it poorly
Touche Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Yes, Riddler is right. I've some s***ty relationships but in all my years, I've NEVER had a man cheat on me. So, no I don't believe it's in a man's "nature" to cheat either.
Curmudgeon Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 It'sa not a matter of relating history. It's a matter of values, or lack thereof.
Pyro Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Yes, Riddler is right. I've some s***ty relationships but in all my years, I've NEVER had a man cheat on me. So, no I don't believe it's in a man's "nature" to cheat either. Thank you to both you Touche and Tim's Angel. I read on here all the time how woman lose faith in men just because a few of us men are cowardly and immature. Not all of us are like that.
Touche Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 It'sa not a matter of relating history. It's a matter of values, or lack thereof. I understand that, C but people's values can change. You didn't take into consideration what I said before that. People grow up and their values CAN change. And if they do, they can start living accordingly and passing that on to the next generation, leaving out the fact that their values used to be different.
Tim'sAngel Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Thank you to both you Touche and Tim's Angel. I read on here all the time how woman lose faith in men just because a few of us men are cowardly and immature. Not all of us are like that. Thats kinda how I feel about us women because of all the damn LS sluts!!
Pyro Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Thats kinda how I feel about us women because of all the damn LS sluts!! i wouldn't say that. There may be a few on here but for the most part, I am in heaven.
Tim'sAngel Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Well not just LS. In general I feel like women have marked themselves for there sexuality. I feel marked having a child out of wedlock. Not enough to bother me, but the fact of the matter does disgust me at some points. Especially when I see posts like this one!
Pyro Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Well not just LS. In general I feel like women have marked themselves for there sexuality. I feel marked having a child out of wedlock. Not enough to bother me' date=' but the fact of the matter does disgust me at some points. Especially when I see posts like this one![/quote'] I feel you. It sickens me how immoral that this society has become. I can't change it. i just stick to my life and what I want. Don't let life's imperfections get to you.
Curmudgeon Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 That's very true, for those who learn from what may prove to be mistakes.
Curmudgeon Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Don't let life's imperfections get to you. Nor your own. Ideally, most of us outgrow them, wince at some of the memories and strive to do better while trying to raise our children to do so too. We all make mistakes in life. What's important is do we learn from them or do we simply go on repeating them?
Touche Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 That's very true, for those who learn from what may prove to be mistakes. Right. And all we can hope for is that MOST do or society will become an even sadder and morally bankrupt place than it already is.
Pyro Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Nor your own. Ideally, most of us outgrow them, wince at some of the memories and strive to do better while trying to raise our children to do so too. We all make mistakes in life. What's important is do we learn from them or do we simply go on repeating them? One of the most valuable things that i have been fortunate enough to learn is to realize that none of us are perfect and that we all make mistakes and all that we can do is learn and grow from them.
Spiderman Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Yes, and perhaps later on down the road, after you f*ck him out of your system, you will meet a wonderful man who you have fallen completely and desperately in love with and find out that the GF of this man you are burning to f*ck is now f*cking the love of your life. Funny thing about Karma- its non discriminatory. Here, here. Great post typical
Author summergirl Posted May 11, 2006 Author Posted May 11, 2006 Puh-leazeee stop bitching about it, I said I'll wait til this guy back to the market again. Like you never meet someone you really wanna jump his/her bones before
Alexandra Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Not bitching at your situation summergirl, no need to jump high. But good call on waiting, he'll have the same "jumpable bones" when he's free. I don't get this, I really don't. And I've seen and heard it all. What IS a f*** buddy? Not what is it to a man, that I get, it's a booty call and it's a completely different story as a man to have what I call "just masturbation sex". Men and women ARE wired differently when it comes to sex though, emotions are the greater part of the experince for a female. Men can have sex only, I strongly don't believe women can. (Don't get me wrong, I understand the inside LTR or marriage quicky concept very well). Women get attached to dogs, aquiantances, soap opera characters but they can have a relationship with a man where there's sex involved and NOT get attached?!? I just can't wrap my head around the concept. I guess the only reasonable answer is that except for a very tiny minority whom for one reason or another do not have functional emotions every other woman in a f***-buddy-no-feelings-involved relationship is simply delluding herself into believing it's a possible concept. -------------------------------------- "Popularized in recent years by the US sitcom Sex and the City, this sort of relationship is commonly portrayed as a relatively new phenomenon, but it is not clear as to whether this "newness" applied to the term "friends with benefits" was actually predated by similar yet more secretive arrangements and phrases. These relationships are associated with younger people (early teenagers), and are often seen as a way to enjoy the benefits of sexual activities without the emotional strings of a romantic relationship." Edited to add that gem from dear ol' Wikipedia. "Early teenagers"!?! I'm definitely getting old. And I'm bothered by one other point... "without the emotional strings"? When has romance become a pain in the butt that we can only avoid by the new hip, Samantha-like-method? End of rant.
Guitar Wizard Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Okey, now lets go through some idealistic ideas today, and im going to throw some concepts and beliefs out there that most of you don’t like, but whatever. My beliefs on the system of F*** buddies is that if that’s really all that two different human beings feel like doing, then let them do it. As long as they are both single, and they agree to it, why not? Everyone understands their own risks of getting involved with that kind of relationship, and if they get burned oh well, it’s their own fault. But you can’t honestly judge two people that just want to have a good time, we only live once and if that’s how people want to spend the years before they become nothingness, then let them. As for hating the many on the actions of the few, it’s something that more and more humans do. Sure, there are all kinds of sluts in the world, both male and female, but every individual has a right to not be judged before you find out all the details and make an informed decision. Typically, people find it quicker to assume rather then actually find out all the facts. Now, as for attraction goes, I am a firm believer that cheating is wrong, but if two people are single, it doesn’t matter, then can do whatever the heck they want. But, if someone is just attracted to a taken person, or has had sexual thoughts about another person, that really isn’t wrong. Judging someone for an idea? Yeah, that makes sense. Don’t discriminate against summer, she’s probably young and this guy probably is as attractive as she says he is, and having thoughts about hooking up with him are nothing but normal. We all have thoughts, that’s the great thing about being a living form of conscience. So, if you see someone and you have a kinky daydream about them, good for you. Summer did that, and harbored idea’s of turning her fantasy into reality, and nothing is wrong with that because in the end she DID make the right choice and said "Yeah, you guys are right, I should wait till he’s single again". People these days are far too judgmental, and everyone has the absurd idea that all of their morals are the right ones. Right and wrong are deliberated by humanity as a collective. More and more people these days are changing the "Old" morals and replacing them with ones that are more convenient and accepting of their lifestyles. So, my philosophy? You reap what you sow, if you do something that not simple minded people believe, but the universe believes is wrong, it will come back to bite you in the ass. Your all entitled to disagree with me, tell me im wrong, and curse at me if you wish, but that’s the great thing about being a human being, we’re all entitled to our own opinions.
blind_otter Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Men can have sex only, I strongly don't believe women can. (Don't get me wrong, I understand the inside LTR or marriage quicky concept very well). I can have sex only, and in fact that's what I've done most of my life. I've only "made love" to one person. I learned it as a surviveal skill because I was sexually assaulted a various points in my life. I had to think of sex as only sex. If I used sexuality as a way to attach myself to someone I would be even more mentally f***ed up by the violation of my body than I already am. Experiencing that level of sexual violence permanently alters the way you think about sex and other people. I have met other women who had the same attitude for the same reasons as well.
bonytony22 Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Ok, I have this friend of mine I am sexually attracted to, he is such a hottie. I know he likes me too and we've been eyeing each other for so long. One night I ran into him in a club, and we did a very steamy dance, and groped each other. After that, he asked me several times jokingly about his naughty plans, and most of the time I responded positively about the invitation but kept him guessing/curious. But he was always talking without actualizing his words. He has a gf now. But i dont care because i think we see each other not as a gf/bf-material. I really want to ask him to rise our "friendship" level into F*** Buddies, but what is the best way to say it? If I ask this proposal jokingly and coy he will take it not too serious and I dont get a definite answer. But If I'm serious it will scare him away! you like to f***
Tim'sAngel Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 My beliefs on the system of F*** buddies is that if that’s really all that two different human beings feel like doing, then let them do it. As long as they are both single, and they agree to it, why not? Everyone understands their own risks of getting involved with that kind of relationship, and if they get burned oh well, it’s their own fault. But you can’t honestly judge two people that just want to have a good time, we only live once and if that’s how people want to spend the years before they become nothingness, then let them. Isn't that the same philosophy they had in the 60s when everyone started getting AIDS? As for hating the many on the actions of the few, it’s something that more and more humans do. Sure, there are all kinds of sluts in the world, both male and female, but every individual has a right to not be judged before you find out all the details and make an informed decision. Typically, people find it quicker to assume rather then actually find out all the facts. The OP very clearly stated she wanted to sleep with a guy who was involved with someone else. If she would have said that she really liked a guy and wanted to sleep with him, I'm sure the responses would have been different. Now, as for attraction goes, I am a firm believer that cheating is wrong, but if two people are single, it doesn’t matter, then can do whatever the heck they want. Of course your right. Thats why we have so many children born to one or both parents who want nothing to do with them (my son included) and why so many people end up with STDs of all kinds and lose all their self worth and self respect, because poor things, they just wanted to have sex. But, if someone is just attracted to a taken person, or has had sexual thoughts about another person, that really isn’t wrong. Judging someone for an idea? Yeah, that makes sense. Don’t discriminate against summer, she’s probably young and this guy probably is as attractive as she says he is, and having thoughts about hooking up with him are nothing but normal. We all have thoughts, that’s the great thing about being a living form of conscience. I'm not personaly discriminating against summer, I can't speak for everyone else. I was just commenting on how it's people that have that way of thinking that put a mark on women as not having any respect for other peoples SO's. I read somewhere on here, can't remember who posted it, that this is the reason why women don't trust women. Why not put yourself in the girlfriends place? Think about how torn she is going to be to find her man has cheated on her. So, if you see someone and you have a kinky daydream about them, good for you. Summer did that, and harbored idea’s of turning her fantasy into reality, and nothing is wrong with that because in the end she DID make the right choice and said "Yeah, you guys are right, I should wait till he’s single again". People these days are far too judgmental, and everyone has the absurd idea that all of their morals are the right ones. Oh so sleeping with someone elses bf/gf is acceptible then huh? You're right. You should never judge someone for that!!
Tim'sAngel Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 I can have sex only, and in fact that's what I've done most of my life. I've only "made love" to one person. I learned it as a surviveal skill because I was sexually assaulted a various points in my life. I had to think of sex as only sex. If I used sexuality as a way to attach myself to someone I would be even more mentally f***ed up by the violation of my body than I already am. Experiencing that level of sexual violence permanently alters the way you think about sex and other people. I have met other women who had the same attitude for the same reasons as well. I can kind of relate to that as well. I was never sexually assaulted, but some things happend in my life and I lost all of my self respect and I did not relate sex with love. In fact, those 2 things in my mind could never be more opposite. FInally, after becoming pregnant and making the decision to never have random sex again, I slowly started to regain my self worth and now that I am in a healthy relationship, with the help of my loving SO, I am learning what "making love" is. So yes, blind otter is right, you can have casual sex as a women. I'm not condoning it, I don't think it's healthy at all. Not every women can, but it can be done.
catgirl1927 Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 I think it's perfectly ok for a woman to have casual sex. Even if you don't have a history of abuse or assault and you're not suffering from low self esteem, if you want to have casual sex with people you know who are also single, as long as you are safe and you aren't hurting anyone, I just don't think there is anything wrong with it. You just have to be someone who CAN do that sort of thing. I don't think it makes a woman a bad person. The idea that men can have casual sex and women can't is the argument that a lot of men use to excuse their extramarital affairs.
vi_pn_babe25 Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 In response to the original post I would advise not to get into that kind of relationship, especially if the other person has a gf/bf. Once you have sex with someone, the lil chemical called oxytoxin (mostly found in women) gets flowing and then you become emotionally attached. So don't do it you'll end up getting hurt!!! Find someone else that's worth your time.
little_girl Posted July 1, 2006 Posted July 1, 2006 i think you should at least try for something other than friends cuz i did & it's been good so far! as long as you don't get emotions involved you'll be ok!
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