summergirl Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 Ok, I have this friend of mine I am sexually attracted to, he is such a hottie. I know he likes me too and we've been eyeing each other for so long. One night I ran into him in a club, and we did a very steamy dance, and groped each other. After that, he asked me several times jokingly about his naughty plans, and most of the time I responded positively about the invitation but kept him guessing/curious. But he was always talking without actualizing his words. He has a gf now. But i dont care because i think we see each other not as a gf/bf-material. I really want to ask him to rise our "friendship" level into F*** Buddies, but what is the best way to say it? If I ask this proposal jokingly and coy he will take it not too serious and I dont get a definite answer. But If I'm serious it will scare him away! 1
visotech Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 err...you said he has a gf? Put yourself in her position.
tikigods Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 umm there is no best way to ask him...he isn't on the market he has a girlfriend
erika2610 Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 Ok, I have this friend of mine I am sexually attracted to, he is such a hottie. I know he likes me too and we've been eyeing each other for so long. One night I ran into him in a club, and we did a very steamy dance, and groped each other. After that, he asked me several times jokingly about his naughty plans, and most of the time I responded positively about the invitation but kept him guessing/curious. But he was always talking without actualizing his words. He has a gf now. But i dont care because i think we see each other not as a gf/bf-material. I really want to ask him to rise our "friendship" level into F*** Buddies, but what is the best way to say it? If I ask this proposal jokingly and coy he will take it not too serious and I dont get a definite answer. But If I'm serious it will scare him away! Just sounds like a bad idea all around. Not only is he a friend, but he has a girlfriend. It doesn't matter if you two see each other as girlfriend/boyfriend material.. obviously he and his girlfriend do. Find somebody else..
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 After the sex, you will most likely lose whatever friendship you have with him. It's inevitable. Men are wired like that.
Adunaphel Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 Are you 100% sure *you* could handle being just a **** buddy? What if *now* you are thinking you'll be able too see it as 'just sex with no strings attached' and once something happens you get emotonally attached to him? I was in your situation once (very handsome friend of mine whom I did not consider relationship material, the only difference is that he actually considered himself 'single' at the time and his gf did know this - and he's one who anyway usually makes agreements with his gf that they can both have sex with whomever they wish), and I am very glad that I realized that I would have been unable to have sex without (emotional) consequences before actually doing anything with him. Be careful about what you wish for - why not just fantasize about him? When you can fantasize about someone without getting emotionally attached to him, it does not mean that in reality it will work this way! Is he still acting towards you the way you described now that he is in a relationship? If so, he is not really a good friend. And I can see why he is bad relationship material. If not, you are not acting as a good friend. Either way, I think that whatever his reaction is, the friendship will be damaged. I did not mention that pursuing someone in a relationship is wrong just because I am not the most appropriate person to say such a thing, but it *is* wrong.
Tim'sAngel Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 After the sex, you will most likely lose whatever friendship you have with him. It's inevitable. Men are wired like that. Amen to that
kitten chick Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 Cover your body in chocolate pudding then wrap your body in saran wrap. Drive over to his house, but don't forget to put a towel down on your car seat, and knock on his door. When he answers, tell him that you want him to unwrap the magic. It works, I swear, try it.
NTB Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 Cover your body in chocolate pudding then wrap your body in saran wrap. Drive over to his house, but don't forget to put a towel down on your car seat, and knock on his door. When he answers, tell him that you want him to unwrap the magic. It works, I swear, try it. something tells me you have tested this out.........you should come over to my place
typical Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 *sigh* I am beginning to lose hope in the human race. Is there something wrong with the other men out there in the world that might be single and looking for what you are looking for? Or is he the only one? Or, is it because those other men in the world are single, therefore does not fit your criteria? Why the burning need to advance into FWB scenario now that he has a GF? Seems like you had ample enough time to become just that when you were grinding at the club and having steamy conversations about his naughty plans...but wait, I am becoming confused-he was single then, so it didnt fit nicely into the "ruining the lives of others at whatever cost" scenario.
prfrogkisser Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 Are you 100% sure *you* could handle being just a **** buddy? What if *now* you are thinking you'll be able too see it as 'just sex with no strings attached' and once something happens you get emotonally attached to him? I was in your situation once (very handsome friend of mine whom I did not consider relationship material, the only difference is that he actually considered himself 'single' at the time and his gf did know this - and he's one who anyway usually makes agreements with his gf that they can both have sex with whomever they wish), and I am very glad that I realized that I would have been unable to have sex without (emotional) consequences before actually doing anything with him. Be careful about what you wish for - why not just fantasize about him? When you can fantasize about someone without getting emotionally attached to him, it does not mean that in reality it will work this way! Is he still acting towards you the way you described now that he is in a relationship? If so, he is not really a good friend. And I can see why he is bad relationship material. If not, you are not acting as a good friend. Either way, I think that whatever his reaction is, the friendship will be damaged. I did not mention that pursuing someone in a relationship is wrong just because I am not the most appropriate person to say such a thing, but it *is* wrong. I have been in a F** buddy relationship(Thank God only one time) and it did not feel right at all. The guy didnt have a girlfriend but I still felt that I was just a person he had sex with.When there is no emotional connection there is an emptiness and sadness about it. It started with a set schedule of meeting then I found myself looking foward to those days. Thats when I realize someone would get hurt and i didnt want it to be me. I dont want to be the girl who is not girlfriend material.I believed if he cared for me as a person he would have tried hard enough to have a relationship. Your situation is more complicated. He is taken.Why would you want a man that cant offer you everything you want and just settle for sex? Is it the excitement of sleeping with a man who has a girlfriend? If you just want to have sex you have other options: 1. Find a hottie who is available and create the fantasy that he has another woman. 2. Watch porn to satisfy that urge 3. Get a vibrator 3. One night stands - use protection Once you take that step of having sex with him your life and his will change so will the friendship. Is a quick lay in the hay worth it? What if he is not that great in bed?
Buttaflyy Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 *sigh* I am beginning to lose hope in the human race. Is there something wrong with the other men out there in the world that might be single and looking for what you are looking for? Or is he the only one? Or, is it because those other men in the world are single, therefore does not fit your criteria? Why the burning need to advance into FWB scenario now that he has a GF? Seems like you had ample enough time to become just that when you were grinding at the club and having steamy conversations about his naughty plans...but wait, I am becoming confused-he was single then, so it didnt fit nicely into the "ruining the lives of others at whatever cost" scenario. AMEN, HALLELUAH!!! I THINK YOU'VE GOT IT, Typical! UNFORTUANATLEY! Sounds like a very selfish person, but maybe if she realized that even her own feelings were at stake she'd refuse the attempt to seduce someone else's man. See...if he accepts you're advances you may not like the end results of being a plaything to him. Maybe his GF might kick your ass too. It's not worth it. Find a single F buddy.
Spiderman Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 Ask his GF if she minds you f*cking her guy, I think you know the answer you'll get. Maybe put yourself in her posistion for a minute... If he does agree to this, he quite clearly has no respect for himself, his gf or you - Is this the sort of guy you want to sleep with? His GF will undoubtedly find out in due coarse, they always do & hopefully move on to find someone nice thus leaving you two to continue f*cking, hey it may even escalate to something more serious between you guys, but when it does I'm sure you'll trust him totally not go off and find another f*ck buddy when things become stale I gather you are quite young?
typical Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 His GF will undoubtedly find out in due coarse, they always do & hopefully move on to find someone nice Yes, and perhaps later on down the road, after you f*ck him out of your system, you will meet a wonderful man who you have fallen completely and desperately in love with and find out that the GF of this man you are burning to f*ck is now f*cking the love of your life. Funny thing about Karma- its non discriminatory.
blind_otter Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 f*** buddies involve two unattached people have sex but not within the context of an intimate emotional relationship. Cheating is another thing altogether and you can't compare the two. I love typical.
catgirl1927 Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 Wow. And men wonder why women are sometimes so wary of each other. Most of us are fine people who don't get a kick out of hurting others. And then there's the OP.
kitten chick Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 Wow. And men wonder why women are sometimes so wary of each other. Most of us are fine people who don't get a kick out of hurting others. And then there's the OP. No kidding. I never had a problem with women until I came to LS. It has really opened my eyes to what's out there.
Author summergirl Posted May 11, 2006 Author Posted May 11, 2006 Yeah I know! I better wait for this guy to be single and available again. Thanks for the comments y'all
Tim'sAngel Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 No kidding. I never had a problem with women until I came to LS. It has really opened my eyes to what's out there. I'm begining to wonder if men cheat because it's in they're nature, or if it is because there are women like summergirl out there... sheesh...
Curmudgeon Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 It's opened my eyes to more than that. I find the entire "friends with benefits" genre to be totally without merit or morality. It cheapens the entire concept of relationships, commitment and appropriate social interaction between the sexes. I realize that I'm an old fart compared to most here but having survived three generations and about to enter my fourth, I can't help but be appalled. It says a lot about diminishing standards and values that the young treat sleeping around so cavalierly. For my part, the last person I'd want to end up with was one who had more sex partners than Carter's has pills (a very old-fashioned allusion, I assure you). I have to wonder what those of you who have children or will some day will teach them about moral values and human sexuality. More than wondering, I shudder to think of it. I can just see an entire generation coming of gratuitous gratification without substance. As always, just one man's opinion!
Touche Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 It's opened my eyes to more than that. I find the entire "friends with benefits" genre to be totally without merit or morality. It cheapens the entire concept of relationships, commitment and appropriate social interaction between the sexes. I realize that I'm an old fart compared to most here but having survived three generations and about to enter my fourth, I can't help but be appalled. It says a lot about diminishing standards and values that the young treat sleeping around so cavalierly. For my part, the last person I'd want to end up with was one who had more sex partners than Carter's has pills (a very old-fashioned allusion, I assure you). I have to wonder what those of you who have children or will some day will teach them about moral values and human sexuality. More than wondering, I shudder to think of it. I can just see an entire generation coming of gratuitous gratification without substance. As always, just one man's opinion! BRAVO! Excellent! I agree. But it's up to us as parents to make sure that doesn't happen. Hopefully, our kids' upbringing will have more of an influence on our kids than their peers do.
Curmudgeon Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 I would hope so but what of the children or eventual children of the ones posting about f***ing a bush in the hopes there's a snake in it? What life's lessons will they pass on to their offspring? I gives me pause!
Tim'sAngel Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 BRAVO! Excellent! I agree. But it's up to us as parents to make sure that doesn't happen. Hopefully, our kids' upbringing will have more of an influence on our kids than their peers do. Amen to that! I want to teach my son not to disrespect women like I was disrespected
Touche Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Amen to that! I want to teach my son not to disrespect women like I was disrespected Good for you TA! C, you have a point there on your last post. I don't know. Maybe they'll grow up by then...we all have to some time. Our children certainly don't need to know all about our pasts.
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