S93D Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 The title says it all. This foreigner that I'm thinking of has a green card so becoming a US citizen (I am an American) is not an object. Furthermore, this person is a citizen of a very developed country that is comparable to the U.S. If you have dated a foreigner, how do you manage differences in customs, thinking, etc?
visotech Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 Someones citizenship says very little about them, I suggest you look past that. As for diffrences in customs, thinking, family life - its the same as in any other relationship - all people are raised differently reguardless of where they are from. Theres nothing that makes dating a "foreign" person any different than dating a "non-foreign" person...we are all "foreign" to the same extent.
Dagny Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 I'm a "foreigner" so to say. Uhm..have an open mind, be open to new things and listen! same in any relationship
jerbear Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 One can always learn from the other. Being in a "foreign" relationship can actually bring intrique of each other. Keep an open mind and communicate. Don't just assume that he/she will do something because you grew up that way. It is sometimes hard to determine how to act, since it is a very developed country does not mean the culture will be the same. dagny, you got PM's?
erika2610 Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 No I don't how many posts do you need to get pm?[/QUOT From what somebody else tells me, 100 posts & one full month of membership..
bumbaclot Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 Who cares if they are a foreigner? They are also people! Hook up and enjoy the ride. He/she may teach you many new things that you'd never imagine Oh ya, I am a helluva foreigner..
Ria Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 communication is really important, and it's good to be open and upfront about expectations. If you don't speak the same languages, then that can be a major roadblock. (for example, I speak English and Spanish, and dating a guy who only speaks Spanish was fine in terms of our one-on-one interaction, but because most of my friends only speak English, it limited the extent to which he could really get involved with my life). Otherwise, I think that developing a relationship with someone from another country can be a really enriching experience.
Touche Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 Actually, I think chances of success in the kind of relationship where the other person doesn't speak your language are VERY high. I mean let's face it, men and women don't speak the same language half the time anyway. The other half of the time, it's misconstrued and misunderstood. So, in my view it's a win-win situation. I think that's why it works so well with H and I. He's from the South and I'm a "Yankee" (or DAMN Yankee as he puts it!) I don't know what the f*** he's saying half the time! But I just smile and bat my eyes and all is good and right in the world!
Adunaphel Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 A male friend of mine has been in a relationship with a US girl for three years, and they had no problems getting along, except for some "relationship rules" that work slightly differently in my country (Italy) and over there. Another female friend of mine has been in a relationship with a Japanes guy (he had been living in the US for years, though). They were very happy together until they decided to break up because the long distance thing was becoming a little unbearable. From my experience, "cultural differences" aren't really a problem, if this person is a citizen of a very developed country that is comparable to the U.S.. Personally, I would be unconfortable dating a foreigner because of the language difference. What most makes a guy attractive in my eyes are sharp brains and good conversation. This will sound bad, and hypocrytal from someone who is posting in a 'foreign'forum, but I feel unconfortable speaking in my language with someone who does not grasp it well. If I were dating someone that speaks english as a first tongue, I would keep thinking "why he is attracted to me?" in the first place, since I think that to appreciate me you have to know my first language very well. I'd be insecure, and constatntly worried to bore him.
alphamale Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 if said "foreigner" has a green card then he/she is not a foreigner. i believe the correct terminology is "resident alien".
Alexandra Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 Actually, I think chances of success in the kind of relationship where the other person doesn't speak your language are VERY high. I mean let's face it, men and women don't speak the same language half the time anyway. The other half of the time, it's misconstrued and misunderstood. So, in my view it's a win-win situation. That's certainly an interesting point... But as long as they communicate be it through another language, signs or simply smoke signals the chance for misconstruction and misunderstandings is still there. We're speaking English which is not a native tongue to any of us. He knows a bit of mine, I am slowly and painfully learning a bit of his:rolleyes: , we've often wondered what it would be like if both of us were fluent in the other's language, I tend to think we'll stick to English for the next 50 years since it's been our "chosen" language for the past few years. What I worry about the most and yes this is somewhat but not entirely off topic is children, they'll have to deal with all three languages I presume. And to answer the initial question.... as someone whose partners were "foreigners" for their vast majority and whom has helped others in inter-cultural relationships for years, I don't think you have any reasons to worry unless the two cultures are immensly different (e.g. someone from a village in China falling in love with a Mensa member with a 90210 zip code) and even then they can be worked out.
kitten chick Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 I did it when I was younger (19-23?). There weren't any issues. Language was never a barrier in those relationships. Any cultural differences were interesting and a pleasure to learn about and participate in. I think if you're finding the majority of differences to be an "issue" then you're not in the right relationship. Either embrace your differences or move on.
basscatcher Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 I did for about 8 days then I busted him in bed with a woman of my opposite. .. I don't need to say and there is no more to tell!
alphamale Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 I did it when I was younger (19-23?). There weren't any issues. Language was never a barrier in those relationships. why was that K_C? Maybe cause their heads were buried in between you legs most of the time???
Touche Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 why was that K_C? Maybe cause their heads were buried in between you legs most of the time??? Yes, the language of love is universal!
kitten chick Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 why was that K_C? Maybe cause their heads were buried in between you legs most of the time??? HA! that was almost funny. No, it was because they were all Australian. I lived there for a while and then dated some when I was back here.
alwayslearn Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 Yes, the language of love is universal! Bravo Bravo Touche. Love is indeed universal and endless I do suppose. Don't most desire to find that one love that never fades away and seems to flow as aimlessly as waves at sea? Maybe it is a romantic notion but perhaps love can conquer most barriers.
Guest Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 The title says it all. This foreigner that I'm thinking of has a green card so becoming a US citizen (I am an American) is not an object. Furthermore, this person is a citizen of a very developed country that is comparable to the U.S. If you have dated a foreigner, how do you manage differences in customs, thinking, etc? if you love someone you adjust change adapt etc plus if it true love that shouldn't matter that much to either of u what other people say and think in both of ur familys and countries religions beliefs etc that will be the hardest to overlook and the most likely to pry the two of u apart i know it can be hard at times but if u really love the person you will try to overcome all of this stuff and be with them it is the two of u that havw to deal with the persecution not the relatives on both sides remember that
SoleMate Posted May 11, 2006 Posted May 11, 2006 I would suggest caution...many (male) foreigners in the US have a gf or wife back in their country of origin. There was a poster on LS who was about to get married to her Mexican-national bf. They had lived together for 2 years. Then, somehow it was revealed that he had a wife and plenty of kids - basically a Mexican version of Leave It To Beaver - back in Oaxaca or wherever. She never suspected a thing. He spent every moment of those two years with her, did not act "macho", and gave every sign of being a totally monogamous and faithful male. The wedding was cancelled.
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