Guest Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 Ive been in a serious, committed relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year now. Before we officially got together, we were so good friends--and then we fell in love. He was still in a falling-apart relationship at that time, so after he broke it off with the exgirlfriend, he needed time--and then we finally got together. Of course it has been a rollercoaster. But we really are serious about each other. This is maybe because eveything just fell into place. Im even sooo close to his family (unlike his ex girlfriends). Our relationship is fast-paced that's why we are sooo emotionally attached now. sometimes, I wish we took things slow, so we wouldn't be tired easily. Thing is, after the schoolyear, he got a part-time job. At the same time, he met these new people whom he eventually became really close to. This new group is composed of all boys, and the people he's with are really good people. I'm not therefore against the people he's spending his time with. But Im really complaining about the lack of ATTENTION Im getting and EFFORT he's making. When our relationship was just starting, I felt super loved. He was very very affectionate. Now, he's just so distant. He spends so much time with his new friends and I felt very neglected. I confronted him with this, and then he said he'd change things. He started to bring me along, etc.. So, okay. And then, he told me he has found a really good friend in one of the guys in the group. He was honest with me and told me that he has never had a friendship deeper than that--that he has never had conversations like what he is able to have with him--not even with me, his own girlfriend. Now, what I am concerned about is that I will never get the boy I fell in love with back. He really changed. But he assures me that he loves me and he wants to love me forever--that what we have is not something temporary. When I told him I want time off a few weeks ago, he "won" me back. After that, I think we got along a lot better, but really, he's just not paying as much attention to me as he used to. (Heck, he's even with his friends now.) Is he just too busy now? Am I too UNSUPPORTIVE? Am I being a nag? Do I just want all the attention? Am I hard to please? I just really dont know what to do. Im so tired. I dont want to be with him anymore not because I dont love him anymore but because I dont want to get hurt anymore. I know we love each other, but we just cant stop hurting each other. =( HELP!
patsdynasty55 Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 holy crap!!! im the perfect person to talk to also, check out my thread here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t87808/ anyway, im guessing you guys are in college that thread is about me and my gf of the last 3.5 yrs she recently said she wasnt "in love" with me and that she wasnt getting anything out of our bedroom life anymore, after it being amazing in the first 2 yrs of our relationship while i didnt agree that the connection was gone in most areas, i did agree that it was gone in our sex life anyway, we are both graduating from college in a week, and almost a week ago we broke up she said she wasnt in love with me anymore, and we both kinda agreed that wasnt fair to me or her but, just two or three days ago i came to a revelation i think i realized why she couldnt show as much passion for me and why the connection was going away in her: i wasnt paying enough attention to her i was treating her differently than i had before i was making her cook and clean for me and not communicating enough with her anymore and then i also realized i had heard this before i had heard this from her over the last like two yrs but it never really sunk in until now she was the one completely ready to give up on us and then i called her and told her how i realized all this (she has been home because she had a job interview) and everything changed now, we might be getting back together and moving in together we also took everything way too fast and i think i started to take her for granted as it sounds your bf is doing you can tell him all this im typing to you because i would have liked someone to warn me a long time ago you can tell him that if he keeps doing what hes doing you will start to resent him for it (as my gf did) and you will lose passion for him and believe me he doesnt want that to happen my gf used to be a mad woman in the bedroom, but over the last 1.5-2 yrs, i feel like she doesnt even really wanna be there anymore and we realized that it has to do with the fact that i didnt treat her the way i used to, the way a gf needs to be treated, with attention, and communication, and not like a maid/mother the thing is: telling him is one thing just as my gf did but the real way he'll learn is if its almost too late i had to be hit over the head with it to finally realize what was going on and he might have to be too he might only realilze if he thinks hes aready completely lost you please let me know if you need anymore help
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