NotAnotherTeen Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 Its been a month now since my and my g/f broke up, and what a terrible night that was. I'm just very confused right now, and sometimes I'll feel one way, then the next instant another. I feel as though i am doing better, but why can't i stop thinking about her? To start at the beginning, we began dating on December 9th, 2006 (im good with dates). For a month or so we were just kind of learning more about each other, and it wasn't very serious. But then, before i knew what was happening, i started really falling for her, and she was returning the feeling. We both told each other often how much we cared about each other, and for a couple months, things were absolutely wonderful. We spent a lot of time together, and we seemed very compatable. Then, starting in late February, I started noticing differences in her. She just didnt seem to be quite as into our relationship as she had been. It was just very subtle things, and deep down inside i think I knew something was wrong. However, i chose to ignore those feelings, and so we continued on. Then came my junior prom. I was so excited. I was taking a pretty girl that i really cared about, and the after prom party was sounding like it was going to be blast. Well, things were going well for a while. We went through prom all well and good, but then came the after prom party. Since I had these feelings of insecurity over our relationship, I brought up the fact that she had slow danced with other guys, and had kinda flirted with one of my friends. I didnt raise my voice or anything, but she got all offended. Then she said she didnt know if she wanted a b/f anymore. She told me she wanted a break, and she asked me to ask her out again on friday (this was saturday night). I agreed, even though i didnt want to. The next thing i knew, she was making out with this guy that she had just met. I felt like sh*t. I couldnt believe she was doing this to me. I mean, i was standing maybe 5 yards away. It was agony to watch, but i couldnt take my eyes away. Then later, she made out one of my friends (clearly not one of my better ones). She was drunk, and afterwards i tried to get her to let me take her home, so she wouldnt do anything else she would regret. But no, she didnt listen to me. So i ended up going home with another one of my friends. That monday i found out a horrible truth. She had slept with this guy. I couldnt believe how bad i felt. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I talked to her later in the week, and she said she regretted it She also wanted to remain friends with me. At first, i went along with this. But when i was around her, I had to make up a person that happy, confidant, and without a care, and it just become to hard for me to continue to hide my pain. So ive gone NC. The past month was horrible. I felt bad every single day, and at night i would dream about her, and about us being together, only to wake to the truth. And then, one of my friends was killed in a car wreck exactly one week after prom. To say the least, my April was horrible. Now i think im starting to get better. I dont feel this hurt as much as before, but i still think about her all the time. I dont think i can be friends with her, but ignoring her is proving to be difficult also. I dont think i want to get back with her, because i know it wouldnt be for the best, but then again, when did logic ever have a say in emotions? I'm just tired of feeling hurt, and i want nothing more to move on. Yet even knowing this, i just cant seem to. Any suggestions?
fraidycat Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 No one can say when a breakup wound will heal. For every person and every relationship it's different. I've taken as little as a week to get over a breakup and as long as 2 years. It sounds like you are young and not to sound cliche but something I've learned since I got way too serious way too fast (my first serious relationship was when I was 15! ) There's a lot about life, people, and yourself left undiscovered that will come in no other way or form but time and age. Are you sure you want to move on? Logically, yes you probably are tired of feeling the pain but are you still trying to somehow hang onto her? I've been there. I needed to move on but I couldn't just BAM detatch and let go. I cut all contact with this person and respected his space but for a long time I hung onto him. Why? because even though I WANTED to let go, I wasn't ready to. When and how is your personal decision and no one can help you make it. I just want to encourage you that you have so much yet to discover about yourself and other people and you will move on eventually. There's so many other exciting friends and women out there. I don't beleive in "the one" anymore. I used to..when I was younger. But I have been with "the one" in 3 different men in my lifetime. Now I beleive there are plenty of people out there who are wonderful and good with you and you make the choice whether to make that committment with them or someone else. You try and make it work and sometimes it doesn't but I beleive one of the times it's bound to take care! P.s- I would defiantely suggest broadening your horizons! I don't mean girls either, I mean what do you like to do? Try out some new things you've always wanted to!! Have fun with yourself you'll be surprised how much the growth and fun help you to cope
Author NotAnotherTeen Posted May 9, 2006 Author Posted May 9, 2006 That is sound advice. And i realize that of course my youth plays a role in this, but i also believe that i am naturally the relationship type of person, who invests a lot in relationships, which can be great, but only makes the pain of the loss that much greater. I really do appreciate the input. Even such simple things as having someone listen to your problem and getting feedback from them can be a great help. Thank you.
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