ImWithHim Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 ...as of tomorrow since he shipped out. I still haven't heard from him and I don't understand why. Does anyone have any experience with this? I'm not suppose to disclose where he is, what he's doing, etc..but I think he'd be ok with me saying "military" work. So it's not as though he's somewhere where it's easy to write, and he's got no access to a phone or computer for contact. However, he had said they're supposed to write family/friends within 3 days so we'd have an address for contact. Because of the nature of what he's doing, there was no exact address to give me before leaving. He (obviously) had mine but I have these horrible nightmares that he forgot it or lost it or something and won't be able to contact me at all during the 6+ months he's gone. But 2 weeks! Two weeks of no contact!! I'm going nuts here wondering how he's doing, not being able to talk to him and discuss our days. I'm trying so hard to keep my days busy with work and personal interests, have even joined a new group that's an interest I've had for years but never taken the time or resources to look into it. But that only goes so far when the sun goes down and you're left with only your thoughts and worrying mind. I can't hardly sleep at night because our routine was always talking for several hours before we both went to bed and now I have no one to talk to, laugh with, make me feel better about a bad day. I don't know what he's up to or what he's thinkin....so I just lay in bed thinking about him and wishing he wasn't so far away. I don't know that there's a point to this post...just a little depressed tonight, was hoping someone could lend an ear...thanks for reading.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 ...as of tomorrow since he shipped out. I still haven't heard from him and I don't understand why. Does anyone have any experience with this? I'm not suppose to disclose where he is, what he's doing, etc..but I think he'd be ok with me saying "military" work. So it's not as though he's somewhere where it's easy to write, and he's got no access to a phone or computer for contact. However, he had said they're supposed to write family/friends within 3 days so we'd have an address for contact. Because of the nature of what he's doing, there was no exact address to give me before leaving. He (obviously) had mine but I have these horrible nightmares that he forgot it or lost it or something and won't be able to contact me at all during the 6+ months he's gone. But 2 weeks! Two weeks of no contact!! I'm going nuts here wondering how he's doing, not being able to talk to him and discuss our days. I'm trying so hard to keep my days busy with work and personal interests, have even joined a new group that's an interest I've had for years but never taken the time or resources to look into it. But that only goes so far when the sun goes down and you're left with only your thoughts and worrying mind. I can't hardly sleep at night because our routine was always talking for several hours before we both went to bed and now I have no one to talk to, laugh with, make me feel better about a bad day. I don't know what he's up to or what he's thinkin....so I just lay in bed thinking about him and wishing he wasn't so far away. I don't know that there's a point to this post...just a little depressed tonight, was hoping someone could lend an ear...thanks for reading. Is he going to Iraq? Sorry I just saw the part of not disclosing location
Author ImWithHim Posted May 10, 2006 Author Posted May 10, 2006 He wrroottteee!!!! I came home to find a letter in the mail today.
BeFree Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 This has got to be hard. I work with a few girls that are married or engaged to marines. They all said they did not hear from their SO for the first few days, couple of weeks. Something about them being in a holding area outside the base, getting situated etc. Glad you heard from him and keep us informed
Art_Critic Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 and he's got no access to a phone or computer for contact. I don't entirely believe this !! yes it is possible but in todays military they are allowed to carry their cell phones.. I mean he could be doing something so classified that it is true.. but come on..
Art_Critic Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 I'll bet 100-1 that he has been in contact with his wife..
Author ImWithHim Posted May 10, 2006 Author Posted May 10, 2006 He absolutely is not allowed to carry his cell phone. I've been on sites for people that are in and families of what he's doing, and where he is does NOT allow that. I'm quite sure he's been in contact with his wife. Why is it that many OW think they are to come first? This is a matter of priorities and if he has an hour a day for free time, the family is obviously going to get written to first. I think this is where a lot of MM/OW issues arise. They think they should come first, and this isn't the case. He's already got a family. They come first.
alphamale Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 but in todays military they are allowed to carry their cell phones.. WTF! Even on the front line? I can just see some infantry dude talking with his ma on the cell..."hold on ma, we've got incoming!"
Author ImWithHim Posted May 10, 2006 Author Posted May 10, 2006 For what it's worth, we are not saying he is a top secret agent or something. We felt it would be safest to not disclosing where he is and exactly what he's doing for the simple reason that LS is a really large community of people and you never know who is reading the site. We didn't want some family member or friend of his to see a post and think "hmmmm." Just too much of a risk and a loss of privacy. It would not allow us to open up if we were worried someone might recognize who it was.
tallbrunettmom Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 If he's military he is absolutely not allowed to carry a cell phone. My ex husband went to afghanistan and he was allowed a phone call from some makeshift device the military set up themselves once every two weeks. He would stand in a line of hundreds of soldiers to make a call. Mail was VERY slow. Some weeks I would get nothing. Then in a day it would be three because mail got held up from way the heck over there. Don't fret. It's a waiting game. I picked up cross-stitching as a hobby...lol.
Art_Critic Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 We felt it would be safest to not disclosing where he is and exactly what he's doing for the simple reason that LS is a really large community of people and you never know who is reading the site. This is a really good point...
Art_Critic Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 Yes they can use their cell phones.. Duh ??? http://www.strategypage.com/htmw/htmurph/articles/20050422.aspx Obvisouly if they are on the front line they can't and when they don't have service they can't .. But they can and do use cell phones in the military.. they even use them in combat zones.. I do know that the military has been cracking down on the use while in trucks and cars while driving vehicles AT&T has even installed payphones in IRAQ and gouges the soldiers to use them to call home http://www.oreillynet.com/etel/blog/2006/03/att_gouging_us_soldiers_in_ira.html
BeFree Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 WTF! Even on the front line? I can just see some infantry dude talking with his ma on the cell..."hold on ma, we've got incoming!" Or "oh my god, no way are you kidding, she did not say......Oh sh*t gotten go! man down, man down!" "Can you hear me now?" "Can you hear me now?"
BeFree Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 Yes they can use their cell phones.. Duh ??? http://www.strategypage.com/htmw/htmurph/articles/20050422.aspx Obvisouly if they are on the front line they can't and when they don't have service they can't .. But they can and do use cell phones in the military.. they even use them in combat zones.. I do know that the military has been cracking down on the use while in trucks and cars while driving vehicl AT&T has even installed payphones in IRAQ and gouges the soldiers to use them to call home http://www.oreillynet.com/etel/blog/2006/03/att_gouging_us_soldiers_in_ira.html My co-worker does say she gets a call from her fiance everyday. They also have email and most of them spend their off time emailing family and friends.
grateful Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 He absolutely is not allowed to carry his cell phone. I've been on sites for people that are in and families of what he's doing, and where he is does NOT allow that. I'm quite sure he's been in contact with his wife. Why is it that many OW think they are to come first? This is a matter of priorities and if he has an hour a day for free time, the family is obviously going to get written to first. I think this is where a lot of MM/OW issues arise. They think they should come first, and this isn't the case. He's already got a family. They come first. Wow, this made me a little sad. While I applaud you for having a realistic viewpoint on the life of an OW, it makes me sad that you are fully aware that you come second - - and accept those crumbs as all that you will get. Take good care of yourself.
Author ImWithHim Posted May 10, 2006 Author Posted May 10, 2006 I don't know why I even bother posting. Art Critic - you do not know where he is, you do not know the situation. I have seen the rules and regulations and he can not have a cell phone on him. Whether you believe me (or him) or not is moot point. I'm telling you he has access to writing snail mail, that's it. What a waste of time to even bother looking for support on the open forum. I'll just stick to PM's with people that attempt to be understanding if this is how it's going to be.
grateful Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 I'm sorry, I'm sure I added to your frustration but it really did make me a little sad. It seems that the women in the OW/OM forums do a very good job of protecting their own. You might consider starting your threads there.
climbergirl Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 I don't know why I even bother posting. Art Critic - you do not know where he is, you do not know the situation. I have seen the rules and regulations and he can not have a cell phone on him. Whether you believe me (or him) or not is moot point. I'm telling you he has access to writing snail mail, that's it. What a waste of time to even bother looking for support on the open forum. I'll just stick to PM's with people that attempt to be understanding if this is how it's going to be. I know you want support and that is understandable, but I think it is very unrealistic to expect everyone here to be supportive of an affair-be it emotional or physical. While I sympathize with your situation, I also sympathize with his wife and kids. Some of us here have been married and have had kids and understand what kind of pain will ensue if his wife finds out and/or he leaves them for you. It's unfair to expect us not to project or perpetuate a situation that ultimately hurts everyone intimately involved (by agreeing with you). My guess is that no one is intentionally trying to hurt or offend you. But do expect someone to hold up a mirror from time to time.
whichwayisup Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 I agree, I don't think anybody is trying to intentionally hurt your feelings, I think some (sometimes me too!) are trying just to open your eyes abit more just because too, you two have not met in person. Feelings are feelings, I understand that, but it's based on fantasy - As much as it feels real, neither of you 'know' eachothers mannerisms face to face. In real life, it is really real life. I hope you still do post on occasion, ya just have to try not to take what some people say too personally. It's not a personal attack unless someone is outright rude to you and nasty. I haven't seen that in this thread. Take care of you and enjoy your life as well!
Art_Critic Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 The red cross actually gives out phone cards as well to the soldiers.. https://thor.aafes.com/scs/default.aspx By the way I'm with him.. I wasn't trying to make you feel bad.. I think I was being the devils advocate and trying to show you that his wife comes first. Sorry I wasn't being supportive enough but I don't feel he has been honest with you and I was also trying to get you to see that.. I'm sorry your feeling bummed.. but at least you go a letter from him today
Blind Illusion Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 I'm just reading this now (must have missed i when you first wrote.) I hope you are doing ok. I'm glad you got a letter from him also.
Author ImWithHim Posted May 31, 2006 Author Posted May 31, 2006 We're writing regularly now...things are going well now. I still miss him like crazy but I'm staying busy enough to not obscess about it all the time. I just really really miss him. 5 months to go. ETA: and for the non-believer of the group, a message from the main site of where he is. " [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#ff0000]***removed for privacy reasons***** do not have access to e-mail. They are NOT allowed to receive or send "personal" e-mail messages such as letters, greetings, short personal notes, etc. Please send all personal messages through the postal service."[/COLOR][/FONT]
erika2610 Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 We're writing regularly now...things are going well now. I still miss him like crazy but I'm staying busy enough to not obscess about it all the time. I just really really miss him. 5 months to go. ETA: and for the non-believer of the group, a message from the main site of where he is. " [FONT=Arial][COLOR=#ff0000]***removed for privacy reasons***** do not have access to e-mail. They are NOT allowed to receive or send "personal" e-mail messages such as letters, greetings, short personal notes, etc. Please send all personal messages through the postal service."[/COLOR][/FONT] Well, I'm happy you heard from him Having spoken to you, and putting myself in your shoes, I know how hard it is, everything you're going through. That being said, you posting here meant that you opened yourself up to everybody's opinions.. good or bad. It's really not fair for you to jump on the defense when somebody says something that you don't see as supportive.. an OW doesn't get alot of sympathy outside of the OW forum..
Author ImWithHim Posted May 31, 2006 Author Posted May 31, 2006 Yes...I certainly learned that the hard way. Stray outside that area and the MM gets accused of lying simply because mail was slow initially. I will stay where I belong from now on for things like this.
erika2610 Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Yes...I certainly learned that the hard way. Stray outside that area and the MM gets accused of lying simply because mail was slow initially. I will stay where I belong from now on for things like this. But in Art's defense.. I think he's just trying to pound reality into you. I don't think he was really calling him a liar..
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