Author Fun2BMe Posted May 22, 2006 Author Posted May 22, 2006 Ok. I guess I won't bother asking for anything back either. I wanted to use it as an opportunity to call him an a-hole even though I don't typically use this colorful of language he is bringing out in me. I'm so angry I can't believe the only action I can take is to do nothing. It makes me feel powerless to sit back and do nothing but what can I do. Nothing I guess.
SmoochieFace Posted May 22, 2006 Posted May 22, 2006 Ok. I guess I won't bother asking for anything back either. I wanted to use it as an opportunity to call him an a-hole even though I don't typically use this colorful of language he is bringing out in me. I'm so angry I can't believe the only action I can take is to do nothing. It makes me feel powerless to sit back and do nothing but what can I do. Nothing I guess. What would you have hoped to accomplish by calling him an a**h***?
Author Fun2BMe Posted May 22, 2006 Author Posted May 22, 2006 What would you have hoped to accomplish by calling him an a**h***? It might show to him what I really think of him. I wasn't returning his calls because I was fed up with him. He gave me the opportunity to speak up. Instead I blamed it on being busy with the cousin's apartment. He probably lost respect and told me to f-off. By calling him an a-hole he will know what I really think of him. I don't want him to think I'm sitting here wishing I was with him and upset he broke it off so suddenly. I wish I was the one who said f-off and that will always haunt me that I put myself in a position for HIM to tell me off and for him to think I was the wrong person in all of this. It is really difficult due to all the hurt he has caused.
SmoochieFace Posted May 22, 2006 Posted May 22, 2006 It might show to him what I really think of him. I wasn't returning his calls because I was fed up with him. He gave me the opportunity to speak up. Instead I blamed it on being busy with the cousin's apartment. He probably lost respect and told me to f-off. By calling him an a-hole he will know what I really think of him. I don't want him to think I'm sitting here wishing I was with him and upset he broke it off so suddenly. I wish I was the one who said f-off and that will always haunt me that I put myself in a position for HIM to tell me off and for him to think I was the wrong person in all of this. It is really difficult due to all the hurt he has caused. He might not care what you think of him anyway so doing that would be a waste of time. In my experience, anyone who has ever called me names has been laughed at. They quickly realise that I don't give a damn what they think of me and that only makes 'em madder. It's sorta like they are angry and hateful towards me but at the same time they want me to care about their opinion of me. Doesn't make any sense. Just move on.
Author Fun2BMe Posted May 22, 2006 Author Posted May 22, 2006 He might not care what you think of him anyway so doing that would be a waste of time. In my experience, anyone who has ever called me names has been laughed at. They quickly realise that I don't give a damn what they think of me and that only makes 'em madder. It's sorta like they are angry and hateful towards me but at the same time they want me to care about their opinion of me. Doesn't make any sense. Just move on. Thanks, I'll just move on. I wish I hadn't sent a response to him looking back, so I won't put any more energy into this.
starlet Posted May 22, 2006 Posted May 22, 2006 It's just so hurtful he would say that to me. I don't think my actions deerved such a crude remark from him. I am analyzing what I did that wrong that I don't see that would cause him to say that to me. It's very hurtful as tough as I act. It's like a stab, especially when he had said he loved me less than 2 weeks earlier. Oh, I know that has got to totally suck - but honestly, it's really better that you see what kind of a person he really is - and that person is an a**h***. Seriously. Anybody that would say stuff like that to you is not only a horrible person, but doesn't care about your feelings at all. It hurts, but better to know so that you can get past it, I think. Let it go, do not contact him again in anyway (phone/im/email/whatever), and try to move on and find someone that DESERVES to have you love them. Because that guy surely does not.
SmoochieFace Posted May 22, 2006 Posted May 22, 2006 Oh, I know that has got to totally suck - but honestly, it's really better that you see what kind of a person he really is - and that person is an a**h***. Seriously. Anybody that would say stuff like that to you is not only a horrible person, but doesn't care about your feelings at all. It hurts, but better to know so that you can get past it, I think. And by her calling him names such as that she would be on his level.
LexiB Posted May 22, 2006 Posted May 22, 2006 It might show to him what I really think of him. I wasn't returning his calls because I was fed up with him. He gave me the opportunity to speak up. Instead I blamed it on being busy with the cousin's apartment. He probably lost respect and told me to f-off. By calling him an a-hole he will know what I really think of him. I don't want him to think I'm sitting here wishing I was with him and upset he broke it off so suddenly. I wish I was the one who said f-off and that will always haunt me that I put myself in a position for HIM to tell me off and for him to think I was the wrong person in all of this. It is really difficult due to all the hurt he has caused. Sweetie, at this point that opportunity to tell him off is over. Doing it now w/o provocation is just going to make you look crazy & show that you still care ~ even if you still do, he doesn't deserve the satisfaction of knowing that. Let it be. Do not initiate further contact with him. If you still feel the need to go off on him, try writing a letter to him ~ BUT DON'T SEND IT. Get all the anger, hurt, betrayal out. Everything you've ever wanted to say to him, every name you've ever wanted to call him, put it there. Let that be the last energy you waste on this guy and then start moving forward.
Author Fun2BMe Posted May 22, 2006 Author Posted May 22, 2006 One last thing that was on my mind is how he said he had called Fri afternoon. I honestly have no record on my phone of a call from him and was thinking maybe my phone reception was low as it oftentimes is. I really don't want him to think I'm playing games. I've seriously been fed up with him. So I just checked online at my phone records and I have no calls from him on Friday. It is just very very surprising how he has turned out to be someone completely completely different than the lovely dovey, honest straightforward, caring person he has been portraying himself to be. Thanks to all the comments, I am over the idea of contacting him AT ALL for anything. Deep down I was hoping he'd at least apologize but he hasn't felt a need to initiate that on his own and is doing just well I assume. Time for me to really forget him and move on.
Art_Critic Posted May 22, 2006 Posted May 22, 2006 Deep down I was hoping he'd at least apologize but he hasn't felt a need to initiate that on his own and . they never do... if they felt that they were doing anything wrong you would've already gotten an apology
Vertex Posted May 22, 2006 Posted May 22, 2006 He most likely will never apologize. He sounds immature. Just cut it all off and don't look back.
whichwayisup Posted May 22, 2006 Posted May 22, 2006 I'm glad this happened, it certainly sped up the process, didn't it? Breathe easy now...He's out of your life for good and now you just need to heal and not let what he did to you get in the way of any other future relationships. I'm still very proud of you, the way you handled this last bit! You are alot stronger than you thought!!! If he ever calls you again, don't call him back. Block his email and put him on ignore/block on your IM. Hugs! And more hugs!
Mary3 Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 He most likely will never apologize. He sounds immature. Just cut it all off and don't look back. I strongly agree 100% with this statement. Your ex was very immature and greatly reminds me of the one I dumped most recently. Not that he said FU to me but his basic attitude was such that he was quite similar to your ex. Not being involved enough, not caring enough, not listening enough . So with my senses so high right now I had to let this one go. The new guy is 180 degrees different ! He calls everyday and I call back. There are no games being played....Despite all the books and strategies on Games thankfully there are men out there that exist who don't play them. Like a Dinosaur, rare ! lol
Author Fun2BMe Posted May 23, 2006 Author Posted May 23, 2006 I hope to meet someone as good as the man you are with Mary3. I hate to play games, I have always been straight forward and now it seems like I get into lose=lose situations. The moment I started playing games as far as avoiding him because I was not interested he says f-off. Every hour or so throughout the day I remember the f-off he has said and it hurts so much. I consider myself a good catch and am confused why I am treated so horribly, put up with bad behavior and then they end up dumping me? I can't sleep, eat, anything. I think I have progressed to this stage a little too fast from when I first posted, thinking things were to work out and now not only have things ended but the way they did is extra bad. He always said how he hates personal arguments generated through email, especially people who break up, yet he does that to me? I don't know anything anymore. I think I will turn out to be one of those looney women who will no longer trust men and be miserable. I never saw this coming from him.
Mary3 Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 I hope to meet someone as good as the man you are with Mary3. I hate to play games, I have always been straight forward and now it seems like I get into lose=lose situations. The moment I started playing games as far as avoiding him because I was not interested he says f-off. Every hour or so throughout the day I remember the f-off he has said and it hurts so much. I consider myself a good catch and am confused why I am treated so horribly, put up with bad behavior and then they end up dumping me? I can't sleep, eat, anything. I think I have progressed to this stage a little too fast from when I first posted, thinking things were to work out and now not only have things ended but the way they did is extra bad. He always said how he hates personal arguments generated through email, especially people who break up, yet he does that to me? I don't know anything anymore. I think I will turn out to be one of those looney women who will no longer trust men and be miserable. I never saw this coming from him. You understand the f*** Off is a direct response to him being rejected and thats his immature reaction to being told the 411 on his bulls***. I feel like a weight has been lifted off me for letting go of someone who did not fulfill my needs. I hope you feel the same. The stronger you are inside the sooner you will feel : "What the F was I thinking being with this guy " ?
Walk Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 Man Fun. I thought your actions were very mature and level headed. Especially in the email. There have been time I haven't returned my bf's calls, due to too much going on and have never gotten a FU in return. This jerk was looking for any excuse for him to vent on you. Telling him off really won't do any good. You'll just have to accept this. I've known guys like this, and it really doesn't bother them if you tell them how horrible they've been. They have no heart and you can't hurt it no matter how badly yours has been hurt. Try screaming at the wall, because frankly, that's about as much response as you'd get from him if you told him what you really thought of him. *hug* Good that you ended things with him. I hope you can heal from this soon, and get back to a happier time.
Guest Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 Congratulations fun, I think your email to him was awesome, well measured response. So what if you weren't really with your cousin he doesn't need to know. And I don't think he did call you, he just said that. I think you're in the best position if you don't contact him for the CDs/DVDs... you can always buy new ones. Gifts are gifts and you need to let them go. I know you want to tell him what you think of him but it wont acomplish anything... I agree write it in a letter but DON'T POST IT. You are a good catch, you just need to wait for the right person. Don't waste your time with losers like this guy. Also I know your worried about how all this happened and how different things have panned out since you started the thread... however it's better to know all this now.. what his true colours are.... imagine if you'd spent another 6 months with him and then found all this out... I think it better over and done with and save yourself another six months of heartache. Good luck... keep occupied, have fun painting the bathroom.
starlet Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 You understand the f*** Off is a direct response to him being rejected and thats his immature reaction to being told the 411 on his bulls***. I feel like a weight has been lifted off me for letting go of someone who did not fulfill my needs. I hope you feel the same. The stronger you are inside the sooner you will feel : "What the F was I thinking being with this guy " ? That: "What the F was I thinking being with this guy?" is the best, most liberating feeling in the WORLD. Because you are realizing that you made bad choices, and can therefore correct them in future, but most importantly because of the fact that you're realizing that you are a fabulous person and worth SO much more than what you put up with before. That's the good part that comes out of this crap. You value yourself more.
Author Fun2BMe Posted May 23, 2006 Author Posted May 23, 2006 Yesterday I wrote so many emails spilling my guts. I honestly thought I would send at least one of them but from the responses I have here, they ended up staying in the draft box. I guess it's correct that more would be accomplished by screaming at the wall. At least in that scenerio I know not to expect a response back. Now when I look at a man's face, I wonder how many girls he is playing and lying to. I mean the guy I was with, he would look deeply into my eyes saying the most amazing things all the while buills*** coming out of his ass. He could've run for a politician's post. Today I am doing much better than yesterday. I wonder if it is from your support that I am healing so quickly. I thought I would be miserable for months to come but I have a feeling that in a week or two I will be back to myself. On my own, I would've been sending him all those gut wrenching emails I wrote but it was hard resisting and had I sent them today I would've regretted it. You understand the f*** Off is a direct response to him being rejected and thats his immature reaction to being told the 411 on his bulls***. I feel like a weight has been lifted off me for letting go of someone who did not fulfill my needs. I hope you feel the same. The stronger you are inside the sooner you will feel : "What the F was I thinking being with this guy " ? That's an interesting take on it. I was going mad checking my phones again and again wondering if I had missed his call. Also, big deal I didn't return his other calls. On more than one occassion I'd call and he wouldn't call back. Now that I did what he does, his response is f-off? Many times I wondered if I was the wrong one and wanted to apologize but you are right that his bulls*** was coming into the open and he scrambled to save his ego by putting me down. I am starting to feel a weight being lifted. I didn't realize how much of my energy was going into wondering where and with who he was with, why he hadn't called and all that crap eating me up. It takes a toll out of you trying to put up and deal with that drama.
Author Fun2BMe Posted May 23, 2006 Author Posted May 23, 2006 Man Fun. I thought your actions were very mature and level headed. Especially in the email. There have been time I haven't returned my bf's calls, due to too much going on and have never gotten a FU in return. This jerk was looking for any excuse for him to vent on you. Telling him off really won't do any good. You'll just have to accept this. I've known guys like this, and it really doesn't bother them if you tell them how horrible they've been. They have no heart and you can't hurt it no matter how badly yours has been hurt. Try screaming at the wall, because frankly, that's about as much response as you'd get from him if you told him what you really thought of him. *hug* Good that you ended things with him. I hope you can heal from this soon, and get back to a happier time. Thanks again, needed to hear that.
Mary3 Posted May 23, 2006 Posted May 23, 2006 Yesterday I wrote so many emails spilling my guts. I honestly thought I would send at least one of them but from the responses I have here, they ended up staying in the draft box. I guess it's correct that more would be accomplished by screaming at the wall. At least in that scenerio I know not to expect a response back. Now when I look at a man's face, I wonder how many girls he is playing and lying to. I mean the guy I was with, he would look deeply into my eyes saying the most amazing things all the while buills*** coming out of his ass. He could've run for a politician's post. Today I am doing much better than yesterday. I wonder if it is from your support that I am healing so quickly. I thought I would be miserable for months to come but I have a feeling that in a week or two I will be back to myself. On my own, I would've been sending him all those gut wrenching emails I wrote but it was hard resisting and had I sent them today I would've regretted it. That's an interesting take on it. I was going mad checking my phones again and again wondering if I had missed his call. Also, big deal I didn't return his other calls. On more than one occassion I'd call and he wouldn't call back. Now that I did what he does, his response is f-off? Many times I wondered if I was the wrong one and wanted to apologize but you are right that his bulls*** was coming into the open and he scrambled to save his ego by putting me down. I am starting to feel a weight being lifted. I didn't realize how much of my energy was going into wondering where and with who he was with, why he hadn't called and all that crap eating me up. It takes a toll out of you trying to put up and deal with that drama. Isn't it nice to know its over....and now you don't have to wait by the phone, wait for the next rude comment, wait for him to make you happy and basically waste precious moments of you LIFE ? Now you can move forward and find somone that treats you EXACTLY the way you want ! I know you feel better inside now. I have to say I feel bad for the guy I dumped. But the kinds of things he had issues with, no bandaid could ever cover. I can't save anyone anymore. Two years ago I might have settled for this crap and stayed in it but today I have changed and know I smell bulls*** alot sooner than before. I am proud of you ! I think you can thank Love Shack . I know I did a million times ! This place has saved face many a day hehe.
vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 26, 2006 Posted June 26, 2006 Honestly were we seeing the same guy? Maybe I was one of his "other" girls Nah.. but WOW your story is the exact replica of mine! And I felt like I was the only one going through this sorta thing. But I guess it happens more than I thought! I hope since you last posted on here that you're doing well withouth him, which I'm sure you are! Thanks Fun2BMe, your story (situation) has really inspired me
Author Fun2BMe Posted June 26, 2006 Author Posted June 26, 2006 Honestly were we seeing the same guy? Maybe I was one of his "other" girls Nah.. but WOW your story is the exact replica of mine! And I felt like I was the only one going through this sorta thing. But I guess it happens more than I thought! I hope since you last posted on here that you're doing well withouth him, which I'm sure you are! Thanks Fun2BMe, your story (situation) has really inspired me Thanks vi_pn_babe25 for reading my thread and the comments. It's also good for me to know that I am not the only one who went through that type of a situation and that you can relate to it. Yes, I am doing much better. This thread helped me tremendously to get him out of my life and mind. I am so over him. I've met a wonderful guy who is the complete opposite of the previous one. I hope you had a similarly positive outcome:)
vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 28, 2006 Posted June 28, 2006 Thanks vi_pn_babe25 for reading my thread and the comments. It's also good for me to know that I am not the only one who went through that type of a situation and that you can relate to it. Yes, I am doing much better. This thread helped me tremendously to get him out of my life and mind. I am so over him. I've met a wonderful guy who is the complete opposite of the previous one. I hope you had a similarly positive outcome:) I'm happy to hear that you have a new guy that treats you with the respect you deserve It will be hard for me to get over him, but I'm working on that positive outcome I know I'll be happier in the end.
Author Fun2BMe Posted June 28, 2006 Author Posted June 28, 2006 I'm happy to hear that you have a new guy that treats you with the respect you deserve It will be hard for me to get over him, but I'm working on that positive outcome I know I'll be happier in the end. Thanks for the words. Don't give up, it takes us all different lengths of time to get over someone. I was seriously expecting it to take me months and months but something clicked, the more I read this thread and thank goodness I snapped out of it in a way I could never have dreamed of. As far as the new guy, I should probably start a new thread, but the previous experience I had is messing with my head. I connected really fast with this new person, he is the opposite of the last one, so kind and always wanting to do things with me, inviting me over to meet his friends right away and so on. At first I was going along with it, but suddenly I am avoiding him like the plague, fearing he might end up hurting me just like the last one did. The last time I called him he said he was upset and feels like he is chasing me, always calling and calling and texting until I finally get back to him and always making excuses not to see hm. I didn't know how to respond so I said I would call him back and I haven't for a couple of days now. We were supposed to see each other Saturday but I made an excuse the same day to get out of it, then didn't return his call and Sunday said I'd call back and haven't yet. He seems too good to be true, just like the last guy did only the last one started throwing bombshells and now I'm nervous to put my self in a situationt that could allow the same thing to happen again. The sad thing is he thinks I am not interested in him and I'm scared he will move on.
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