Wehant Posted May 8, 2006 Posted May 8, 2006 I don't know why I'm doing this, but I feel amazingly pathetic in doing so. I guess it's because I've run out of all other alternatives and feel that maybe in coming here someone can help me (or steer me in the right direction). The love of my life and I ended our relationship a little over 1 year ago. I can't get over it. She was everything to me. Everytime I think I'm long past her, something (a fragrance, a song, a building, a photograph, a date etc...) slaps me and forces me to fall back into the spot I was after we broke up; complete utter sadness. It happened last night again, in my dream. I dreamed that we had gotten married. Crazy I know, and I have no idea why I had that dream, it just happened. Now I'm sitting here in my apartment, alone pondering what "could have been" instead of focusing on more productive tasks. Truth be told. I meet women. Lot's of them. I tend to end it with them fast though. Why? None of them knocked my socks off like she did when I met her. None. I'm dating this girl at the moment and she seems ok, but the problem is that she's not my ex (henceforth referred to as the Helene). I'm thinking about just quitting with this girl I'm seeing because once again the Helene has entered my thoughts and it would be unfair to this girl if I were to be with her all the while thinking about the Helene. Today I was cleaning my desk out when I whole slew of photographs fell out of my drawer. You know where this is going, all of those photographs were moments shared by the Helene and I during out two-year relationship. A friend of mine told me that my problem is not that I'm still in love with my ex, rather it's that I seek to repeat the way I the helene. I want to meet another girl in exactly the same way as I did the helene. The current girl I'm seeing, I met in similar circumstances however I feel nowhere near the excitement with her as I did with the helene throughout the infant stages of our relationship. I know this sounds pathetic. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, but she had such a profound impact on my life. I am a richer person because of her, but at the same time I'm ruined (seemingly) because of her. I never wanted to lose her, I was perfectly happy with her and that day when it all ended allowed me to get a sneak peak on what death feels like. Please, advice, opinions.... Wehant
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