GoingDownSwinging Posted May 8, 2006 Posted May 8, 2006 I have been doing this whole break up thing since January. Me and my ex have been dating since last July but we have been really on and off since January. If you want to know the history just search for posts under my name...most recently, we broke up on Easter. I broke up with him, because I felt that time apart would maybe help us get our relationship back on track. For the next week or so the ex called every day, even sometimes 3 or 4 times a day...he begged me not to "do it" but I held strong to what I thought I wanted (to be away from him). Then all of a sudden, he stopped calling. A few days went by and I was happy that he had finally given me what I wanted. Then one night, I started to really miss him so I called. He answered, but we didn't say much. He ended up hanging up on me and I haven't heard from him since. I called several times a day for the few days following with no answer. I didn't call him from Wednesday to yesterday and then thought surely he would answer this time. So I called yesterday, no answer. Its almost like he is dead. He won't respond to any contact which I have initiated and its tearing me up. I feel like he is trying to punish me, since I resisted his attempts to reconcile. I thought for sure, though, that he would have contacted me by now. Someone please help me find wisdom. PS: If you are spiritual, please offer up a little prayer for me, and I will return the favor
Yamaha Posted May 8, 2006 Posted May 8, 2006 What do you want? To be his friend. If it is over then let it be as it seems he is letting you go and I would advise you to do the same.
Author GoingDownSwinging Posted May 8, 2006 Author Posted May 8, 2006 I want to work it out. Does this change you guys perspective? Any new advice?
Skeered Posted May 8, 2006 Posted May 8, 2006 I want to work it out. Does this change you guys perspective? Any new advice? I personally think it sounds like this relationship is rocky at best and that you want him now because he's not chasing you...when he was calling you you were happy because the thrill of the chase was there and you could say no I don't want you right now...well now he's moved on and you are upset. Well what did you want him to chase you forever. My opinion...move on because he already has...you made this last decision to break up, now you have to accept it.
Pantero Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 ^^ Agreed. From your posts, it sounds like he's moved on...
jen_jen_heartbroken Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 Sounds like he finally got tired of playing your game of chase.
Fun2BMe Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 Easter wasn't that long ago so I don't think he could have completely moved on. Considering how much he was calling you and still wanted you, I think he is like you say trying to punish you, but not permanently. Give it some time for him to heal from the hurt and make sure you show him how sorry you are when the opportunity arises.
scobro Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 Ahhh haaaaa Finally a dumper who wants the dumpee back and the dumpee is doing no contact so it makesd the dumper wonder about their descision...........i love it.
fraidycat Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 I agree with everyone who asked you..what is it you really want? I mean do you even WANT to be with this guy? Or is he just an ego stroke? I agree relationships need space but breaking up so you can feel wanted and persued by him (I mean that is really the response you're trying to initiate correct? we're all adults here let's cut the crap and say it how it is) is a bad bad sign. A, break ups hurt and people have hearts- There's a good chance he was hurt and he shut himself down and away from you. Does that mean he doesn't love or care for you? No, it means he's made up his mind that he doesn't WANT to. Also, might I add a bad sign. If you two need to play break up and make up in order to keep your relationship satisfying you what's that tell you? The reality is, when two people get together they are bound to find the likes and dislikes in one another and then they are bound to discover there adventure (or in some cases lack there of) found in eachother.If a partner is not satisfying you be it emotionally, intellectually, sexually,yada yada yada then it's time to go your seperate ways. We are who we are people, and sure we'll make changes, we'll grow, what not but if what keeps you satisfied isn't found in your relationship then the relationship is over anyhow and playing dumb little games like this won't change it. You can paint a garbage can platinum and it's still a garbage can..you can add drama and thematics to a bad,dead,long lost relationship and it's still going to be your bad, dead, long lost relationship.
shelters Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 I skimmed through your original post so since I didn't read your threads thoroughly, this advice may be off: It sounds to me like you both are playing games with each other. "Taking a break" is all well and good **one time**-- but more than once and it becomes a pattern of behavior that only serves to further deteriorate your relationship, your partners respect for you, and then finally your partners love for you. The more important question is WHY do you do this? Is this your way of breaking up with the person? Is this your way of feeling the 'rush' all over again by having mini-pseudo-beginnings? Is this your way of feeling loved b/c you might think that the only way to feel a person's love is when they are chasing you? Is this your way of creating drama because calm & smooth is too uncomfortable? All, some or none of those questions above apply to your situation. However, whatever the answers are that fit your situation you will find them by going inward and learning more about yourself. Or, perhaps you are young and you will naturally grow out of this as you get older. ps-- You mentioned in your first post in Jan that you were reading the book "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken." What did you think of it?
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