clairedouglas80 Posted May 8, 2006 Posted May 8, 2006 My "ex" (and I say ex because we were never even REALLY together) have completely stopped our totally wrong, f*ckbuddy type relationship. It had been going on for 2 years. We may have never officially been together, but we more or less were. Because we are in the same profession, we have a lot of the same friends. Which it turns out are HIS friends. I'm now being excluded from all kinds of things where he's going. With the new GF. Who is much older! and not nearly as cute as me . To top off the breakup, I also feel friendless and lonely. Making new friends takes time and I'm not great with being alone all the time as it is. I'm so not over him it isn't funny, and I see him now with new GF all over his and all the other friends' blogs. Taking trips together, having all this fun. It's almost too much to take. The weird thing--I got an call from him like three days ago asking if I would go on a kind of work trip with him to somewhere tropical in september. I emailed and asked why he would want to take me and not someone he's dating at the time--like new GF! He says because we're friends and who knows who he will be seeing in September. I just don't understand why of all people he would have asked me. He could have asked any of the friends to go, and we're hardly speaking. I can't stand seeing him all over the place with the new girl. It hurts in this way that I can't even start to describe. He's doing everything for her he didn't do for me, or so it looks like. Being kind, taking her places, not denying that they're together. I really hate it. We were never good. He's very charismatic and charming, and even though he treated me like crap, I couldn't stop myself from doing everything he wanted and wanting to give him everything. Believe me, I start with the shrink tomorrow. Please help me! Please tell me how I can get past this and just stop caring!!
2020vision Posted May 8, 2006 Posted May 8, 2006 Well.. I cannot really answer your question about not caring..because, If I could I would probably not be on LS and I would be very rich lol...However, all I can say is ignore him the best you can.. The vacation was just him grasping at straws. Sounds like he just wants to have his cake and eat it too. The fact the he would keep you around for just "F*ckbuddy" type relationship proves what kind of a s*** bag this guy really is. He doesn't care about your feelings, so don't care about his. Take this as a lesson to never accept anything less than what you want again, because you will just end up getting hurt. Sorry this might have seemed kind of harsh, but the best advice I have ever received has been the "tough love" type. -2020
In Sync Posted May 8, 2006 Posted May 8, 2006 clairedouglas80' First, let me start off by saying don't belittle the fact: YOU WERE TOGETHER. Therefore that label is a form of denial to the real factthat your heart got invested into this real physical relationship. Otherwise you would not be hurting and the sight of him and his new gf would mean nothing to you. I'm sorry to be blunt but you will need a lot of time to heal..and the first step is accepting that you were in a relationship. Doesn't matter what he called in the beginning or how you thought it started the minute you had feelings for him aside from sex..you were involved emotionally. You cannot begin to recover if you don't honour that reality. Otherwise you will continue to lie to yourself and maintain contact (Outside of what is expected from you business wise). The second reality is yes, you work in the same profession, so you can't go into hinding but you are seriously kidding yourself by wanting to socialize with anyone or a personal basis that is tied or conected to him. If it anin't bizness related..find a new circle to relate to. Otherwise, come to learn acceptance and learning to love being with you. Being alone is not a death sentence now..it is time to use to help you recover, and gain your esteem back. DID I ADD THIS TAKES TIME. You've investe 2 years in a relationship in which the guy did not totally honour you. Ok, it's over..now is the time to honour yourself. Don't blame yourself. Or beat yourself up. Look at the reality and learn from it. AVOID this guy at all cost. Really. He doesn't respect you. He'll use you again as a FB and move on to another. You are not his doormat. Keep writing and getting this poison out of your system. No liehere: YOU'VE GOT A LONG JOURNEY AHEAD.
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