re-establishing contact

[mscmkr]

i am here to find some help with someone i really love. this a woman who i have known for 9 years now. i met her in med school. she has 2 little girls that are so beautiful. i fell inlove with her during school and have been inlove with her ever since. we have never datted. but that didnt make a difference in how i feel.

she has shown sparks of interest in me over the years but its never gotten anywhere. (i blame myself for this. i never did what i should have done to fan that spark into a flame in her). well, a couple months ago i had another chance. i hadnt talked to her in 3 years. the last time i did she was married to someone else. her marriage lasted 4 years. the man she was with was completely the wrong man. well, now there devorced.

i had found her number and called only to find out shes not there anymore. so i looked up her number to where shes at now and called her there. i left a message and she called back about 30 minutes later. we had a great talk and she wanted to keep in touch.

well, a couple weeks later i told her i wanted us to start datting. she told me she needed time to heal from what she had been through. now for me, if a woman asks for time i will give it to her. im very much a gentleman. form this point on she started showing a treamendous amount of interest. calling me from work just to say she was thinking about me. calling me 6 to 8 times a day while i was on vecation.thos kinds of things.

i didnt make a move because i wanted to give her the time she wanted. well, i guess this was not what she wanted me to do. and things lead to things and she finnaly emailed me saying she didnt feel that physical thing for me. well, i got mad and sent her a pretty nasty email about what she had been doing over the years. as far as marrying a man she knew was wrong for her, (amung other things). and now she will not talk to me at all.

i have been really trying to look inside of myself to find out why things like this and other things dont seem to work out for me. in just a short amount of time i have made some huge progress on myself and now see what happend. (thats why i blame myself).

now i also see what shes doing to herself. and i want to help her to stop being hurt by all the wrong men. i dont care if we end up together or not. i just cant stand to see her being hurt. i would do anything to help her but i dont know how. let alone how to re-establish any kind of contact or trust with her. if theres anyone out there who can help me do both of these things please help. this would mean the world to me.

thanks so much..........mscmkr

[Poconobob]

i am here to find some help with someone i really love. this a woman who i have known for 9 years now. i met her in med school. she has 2 little girls that are so beautiful. i fell inlove with her during school and have been inlove with her ever since. we have never datted. but that didnt make a difference in how i feel.

she has shown sparks of interest in me over the years but its never gotten anywhere. (i blame myself for this. i never did what i should have done to fan that spark into a flame in her). well, a couple months ago i had another chance. i hadnt talked to her in 3 years. the last time i did she was married to someone else. her marriage lasted 4 years. the man she was with was completely the wrong man. well, now there devorced.

i had found her number and called only to find out shes not there anymore. so i looked up her number to where shes at now and called her there. i left a message and she called back about 30 minutes later. we had a great talk and she wanted to keep in touch.

well, a couple weeks later i told her i wanted us to start datting. she told me she needed time to heal from what she had been through. now for me, if a woman asks for time i will give it to her. im very much a gentleman. form this point on she started showing a treamendous amount of interest. calling me from work just to say she was thinking about me. calling me 6 to 8 times a day while i was on vecation.thos kinds of things.

i didnt make a move because i wanted to give her the time she wanted. well, i guess this was not what she wanted me to do. and things lead to things and she finnaly emailed me saying she didnt feel that physical thing for me. well, i got mad and sent her a pretty nasty email about what she had been doing over the years. as far as marrying a man she knew was wrong for her, (amung other things). and now she will not talk to me at all.

i have been really trying to look inside of myself to find out why things like this and other things dont seem to work out for me. in just a short amount of time i have made some huge progress on myself and now see what happend. (thats why i blame myself).

now i also see what shes doing to herself. and i want to help her to stop being hurt by all the wrong men. i dont care if we end up together or not. i just cant stand to see her being hurt. i would do anything to help her but i dont know how. let alone how to re-establish any kind of contact or trust with her. if theres anyone out there who can help me do both of these things please help. this would mean the world to me.

thanks so much..........mscmkr

 

 

Well, first of all, you need to be honest with her and tell her almost exactly what you said here. The point I'm trying to make is to establish communication with her which is up there in any ranking of successful relationships. Without honest, expressive communication, it can go nowhere fast.

 

I assume meant by med school, like a trade school? You sound/spell like a younger person, if so, explain how she has met immature young guys and that you are mature for your age and can give her what she wants, and if not, you can at LEAST direct her in the right direction with respect to the "type" men she should date.

 

I just wanted to wish you the best of luck. OH by the way, with working on yourself, it will show more than you think, women pick up on a self confident guy in the way you carry yourself, hold your head high, don't slouch, good eye contact, and good body language. Just a footnote, try AskMen.com and you'll read about some other ideas.

 

Good LUCK...you deserve it!

 

bob