konfuzd Posted May 8, 2006 Posted May 8, 2006 So I know many of you guys are fans of the infamous 3 day rule... I hate that rule, but have kind of learned to accept it. I met this guy on Friday night, we totally hit it off, had a great time. I give him my number and he said he'd call, and followed with, "is tomorrow too soon?" I thought it was so cute.... I said, "I'll leave that up to you" and gave him a little kiss, to which he replied, "I'll call tomorrow" Now, it's Sunday night, and still nothin'! I don't get why men do this... If you have no intention of calling a girl, don't tell her you will!! Is this seriously fun for you guys??? What is the point?
whichwayisup Posted May 8, 2006 Posted May 8, 2006 Give it till mid-week. After that I wouldn't get your hopes up, but don't dismiss him completely - Meaning if he calls you Friday or even Saturday, give him another chance. Personally, I think it's WEIRD that a guy would say "is tomorrow too soon" and then say he WILL call you tomorrow and then not bother. Either he chickened out or his friends told him not to appear so anxious to call you. Stupid game to play when two people obviously connected and had fun. Or (doubtful) but maybe something did come up and he hasn't had a chance to call. (Again, doubtful, but if he calls, give him a chance to explain.) Good luck and let us know what happens!
Author konfuzd Posted May 8, 2006 Author Posted May 8, 2006 Thanks WWIU. I think it's wierd as well, but I suppose there's really nothing I can do at this point, except be all frustrated and slightly jaded.... I hate games... all games have a loser, and most often it's me
Guest Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 i never heard about the 3 day rule. if its been 3 days since i heard from a girl i don't even realize it so what do i care? if she calls, she calls. if she doesn't i'm not counting the days. man, theres a lot of stuff in here that's scary about relationships i never heard about. ive been doin ok not knowing. but this site is interesting though
Fun2BMe Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 Monday night, still no call. Bummer. Why don't you call him and ask if he's ok and that you thought he was going to call you Saturday. That way he will know you're not into games.
Author konfuzd Posted May 9, 2006 Author Posted May 9, 2006 I gave him my number, never got his. Ah well, live and learn I guess.
Author konfuzd Posted May 13, 2006 Author Posted May 13, 2006 Alright, so I get the drunk dial at 5:00 this morning. He gave the excuse that he needed some liquid encouragement to call because he is really shy. He invited me to a BBQ on the beach today, so we'll see if he follows through...
Art_Critic Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 He gave the excuse that he needed some liquid encouragement to call because he is really shy. And you believed him ?.. WTF.. He doesn't call you for almost a week then he calls at 5 am.. I would've told him to loose your number.. He is treating you like a booty call.. Maybe that is what you want.. Do a role reversal.. would you do that to a guy that gives you your number unless you were looking for a hookup ?
Fun2BMe Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 I would make an excuse not to go. Don't be at his beck and call especially while he's drunk on top of it. Did you bring up that he never called you the next day like he said he would? I don't think being shy is a good enough excuse to diss a girl.
NTB Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 And you believed him ?.. WTF.. He doesn't call you for almost a week then he calls at 5 am.. I would've told him to loose your number.. He is treating you like a booty call.. Maybe that is what you want.. Do a role reversal.. would you do that to a guy that gives you your number unless you were looking for a hookup ? WTF is right AC.........i need to find a girl like this that will take my 5am drunk calls.
Author konfuzd Posted May 13, 2006 Author Posted May 13, 2006 I'm not putting a lot of faith in him to actually call.... the idea that he might sure as hell beats the idea of spending yet another sunny saturday alone and miserable. I guess you just put up with a lot more bulls*** when you're in a city where you have few aquantences and even fewer friends. Jackpot for him I guess
agnf666 Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 Well lets see... I would give him unitl monday. If he hasn't called by then, it's time to move on. Basically most guys go with that 3 day rule.. or even maybe a week.
Fun2BMe Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 I'm not putting a lot of faith in him to actually call.... the idea that he might sure as hell beats the idea of spending yet another sunny saturday alone and miserable. I guess you just put up with a lot more bulls*** when you're in a city where you have few aquantences and even fewer friends. Jackpot for him I guess Maybe he really is very shy and likes you a lot and was too nervous to call. If he didn't like you at all he wouldn't have called even if he was drunk. I guess there is nothing to hurt by spending the day at the beach and getting to know him better to see what his deal is.
NTB Posted May 13, 2006 Posted May 13, 2006 maybe he is just an alcoholic (just making it longer to post)
Mary3 Posted May 14, 2006 Posted May 14, 2006 So he has to be drunk to call you and at that one week later ? I think some guys say " Hey I'll all you " : That really means : I am standing here ready to leave the end of this date and I am going to say I'll call you even if I don't really mean it because I can't just turn away and say " bye " . So guys say it . But don't mean it . When a guy says " I really enjoyed our date and I will call you tomorrow nite " then you look for someone to really do what they say they will. When one day turns into 5 and then turns into a week , then thats bullsh**. Some guys are just really busy. But then so are you.... Also be aware he made a drunk 5 am call and invited you to something....I would not get * ready * ( well have your clothes ready ) until he is actually driving over to your house to pick you up. I'd hate to see you get ready and this guy was too drunk to remember he invited you. Its likely he might remember and you guys will have a great time.
Author konfuzd Posted May 14, 2006 Author Posted May 14, 2006 Well, he called... only to cancel the plans for the day. Something to do with feeling under the weather from being up drinking 'till 5:00 am. Another one bites the dust. This is the third guy who's pulled this s*** with me lately. I really wish I knew what I was doing wrong, or what it is about me that attracts these total losers. It's not like I'm trolling the bars, I don't dress like a skank, nor act like one, I don't understand why I get treated so worthlessly. I keep trying to tell myself that it's their loss. I think I'm a pretty damn good catch, but I don't know how much more rejection I can take before I just give up all together. This has left a huge mark on my self esteem and I don't know how to fix it...
Mary3 Posted May 14, 2006 Posted May 14, 2006 Well, he called... only to cancel the plans for the day. Something to do with feeling under the weather from being up drinking 'till 5:00 am. Another one bites the dust. This is the third guy who's pulled this s*** with me lately. I really wish I knew what I was doing wrong, or what it is about me that attracts these total losers. It's not like I'm trolling the bars, I don't dress like a skank, nor act like one, I don't understand why I get treated so worthlessly. I keep trying to tell myself that it's their loss. I think I'm a pretty damn good catch, but I don't know how much more rejection I can take before I just give up all together. This has left a huge mark on my self esteem and I don't know how to fix it... Our world is extremely prevalent with men ( and women ) who do the date and run / hit and run ( thats worse because sex is involved ) This is sooo common that you might want to get used to it. Its not YOU ! Its the creepoids that you are meeting. Be GRATEFUL that you did not invest much. Pay attention to what is happening. Go by their actions 100% of the time. Bulls*** prevails in numbers unfortunately. The only thing you can do is KNOW there are good guys out there but they are like trying to find a fine needle in the haystack. Not to bash but the reality is that its a learned response . With all the books and crappo advice men ( and women ) have changed from the good ol' days of being honest and upfront of what they want to leave you for days... wondering why they don't call. I never experienced that until the last few years so it seems to be a more common practice. Before it was like this : He likes you. You like him. He tells you. You tell him. He calls you. You call him. He pays attention to you. You reciprocate back. At some point : You begin a relationship.. Nowadays its : He asks you out. He asks for your number. You wait 6 days. You wonder if he was killed in some gruesome car wreck because he promised to call .... But he is just fine and you will have to wait until he is ready. And that could be never... He says he will call. He does not call. He ignores you. This plays out as long as you let it. The secret ? Don't Play his Game ! See it fast, upfront and quickly move on. Of course he cancelled... End this BULLCRAP by not playing. Don't pick up his calls ! IGNORE is in order...
Fun2BMe Posted May 14, 2006 Posted May 14, 2006 I feel bad for you almost as though this was happening to me. I hate inconsiderate things like this that end up making the other person feel awful when it could have been prevented from the beginning had he been upfront with you. Hang in there. This happens to all of us and it has nothing to do with you but the fact that HE is a loser. Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the right person. If you knew the frog I am with you'd think something was wrong with me. Sometimes we put up with games hoping people will change or turn into who we think they are.
Author konfuzd Posted May 16, 2006 Author Posted May 16, 2006 Mary3, Thanks for the reply. I keep telling myself, "it's not me it's them", but it is pretty tough to believe when you get into such a rut, a continuous pattern where I am the only common denominator. Fun2BMe, You're too sweet, thank you for the kind words. I guess I can only hope things will get better, and I hope for you too that you start getting treated the way you deserve.
Mary3 Posted May 16, 2006 Posted May 16, 2006 Mary3, Thanks for the reply. I keep telling myself, "it's not me it's them", but it is pretty tough to believe when you get into such a rut, a continuous pattern where I am the only common denominator. Fun2BMe, You're too sweet, thank you for the kind words. I guess I can only hope things will get better, and I hope for you too that you start getting treated the way you deserve. It really is THEM. They are armed with lots of advice from friends and books and it seems the NORM to be like this now so NO its not you Believe that someone exists out there that is not going to mess with your mind. I know that sounds impossible but never give up hope
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