boston78 Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 Well, I posted a while ago in a different forum...but now things have changed for the worse. A little back ground: I am 28, BF is 26. Both educated and professionals. He was recently accepted to a prestigious graduate school that is 2.5 hours from where we both live (in two seperate apartments). We have been together for more than 4 years. Had a great relationship, traveled every spring, did TONS of fun things together...We both thought we had found our soulmate. Talked about marriage, though he is not ready for that right now with the focus on grad school... Within the past four months our relationship has been under strain...two very good friends of mine were engaged....i was insanely jealous of them...this caused pressure for my bf. Slowly, we started spending less and less time together...and the time we did spend together we fought or didn't speak much. Though that a vacation was what we needed, but that didn't even work. SO, flash forward to yesterday. He and a I speak about the relationship and get into it. He starts talking about how angry he has been with me, that I haven't "been there" for him (through the stress of moving, leaving friends/family, etc). He said I was once his "rock" and now he's depending on friends for this role. He said that I've been playing "head" games with him...not calling him as much, not saying I love you first when we get off the phone. These things are true...I just didn't always want to be the one to say things or initiate contact first. Then we were contemplating me moving to the grad school with him...that caused huge stress because initially he wanted me to go with him, and now he doens't think that would be a good idea. Yesterday, I went to his place...we cried, let out frustrations and sort of broke up...all the while maintaining our love for eachother. He is fixated on the past four months and how "we let this happen" and did nothing about it. So, I packed up some of my stuff, gave him his keys and have been uncontrollably crying ever siince. Called him this morning, couldnt help it. he didnt sleep either. I told him that I would not accept that this relationsihp was over and that we had to do something to get back to where we once were. He agreed and we are going to talk tonight and im going to get us set up with a therapist. even though there is some hope, i still cant stop crying. how could i have been so stupid to let this happen? any body else take people for granted and become complacent? I am afraid to be hopeful that we can work things out. I know that I can live with out him, I just don't want to. HELP!! Anyone ever been here?
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