MadKurlz Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 Quick background......ive been with my boyfrind for 2 years now and in dec i moved in with im cus we had goten pregnant. we were both very excited. i rented out my condo and moved in with him, but had a miscarriage in february. We decided to try again in may or june. The past month he has been strange. He is glued to his cell phone, he is distant with me and barely even laughs anymore with me. I know i have insecurity issues, but I feel it in my gut that something is not right. We had a few fights in the last couple of months and one of the things he said was that he was so tired of me asking him if he was going to dump me or if he loves me. (like I said i have insecurity issues) and that if i were to say anything like that again he will just end up leaving me cus he was sooooo tired of hearing it. So here I am, knowning and feeling that somehting is not right and I Want to talk about it with him, but Im a bit scared. So I wrote a letter. Should I give it to him? The letter: I know it isn’t anything I did or said. I know I haven’t done anything for you to hate me. I know you don’t hate me. I know you love me. But I just can’t help but feel how far away you are from me. Feels like there is a distance between us. You sleep next to me, you sit next to me, but seems to me that your not “next to me”. I probably have you confused by now. Its almost as if you rather be doing something else or be somewhere else. Its kind of put me in a strange situation I appreciate that you don’t hide things from me. That only makes me realize that I have the up most trust in you. Which builds more and more when u show me that you hide nothing from me. Papi, I know that you are not an affectionate, lovey dovey, I wanna be all over my girl kinda guy. Ive learned to live with that. Just seems that something has pulled you away. I know our communication skills suck ass (hence the letter). I love you so very much and if something is on your mind, and you want to talk, I hope you know that you can talk to me Should i go into more detail? should i not say anything and wait out this strange behavior?
In Sync Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 I think the letter is a nice letter (I personally might take away the line "Papi, I know that you are not an affectionate, lovey dovey, I wanna be all over my girl kinda guy. Ive learned to live with that." ) Only because it might push him away and put him on the defensive but the letter is from your heart and it's a gentler approach to getting him to talk. Afterall it's fair enough to find out from the man you are living with what is going on in your relationship..maybe he's under emotional stress especially after a miscarriage. I'm am sorry for your loss. Perhaps he is having difficulty communicating this to you. Give him the letter and then allow him some time to come to you, before pursuing it further. Good luck.
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