taurus5 Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 I have been married for a little over 8 years and after the first 3 a coworker started giving me some attention and knowing that it was wrong I acknowledge her feelings and responded but it only was flirting and talking no physical contact and because of that I totally ignored my wifes emotional needs so my told me that we needed to seperate and that she would be gone for a month so I thought ok I just hold off for one month and she would be back so while I waited the coworker and I broke things off and I haven't talked to her since but after that month she didn't come back and I totally broke down and evaluated all the things I did wrong and vowed to change my ways and after basically begging and pleading she took me back and about 5 months later we had our first son so I work swing shift at my job which basically means for the last 5 years my wife has been parenting in the afternoon and evenings giving up her friends and fun etc.... so now for the past six months I have been working day shift and now the role is reversed when I get home I am the babysitter/father while my wife goes out with her friends and basically making up for her life before our son which I was ok with I thought but actually I was really pissed off because I couldn't do the things I wanted to do and in return I ingored my wifes emotional needs so because of this she found someone to fill her emotional needs which was also a coworker but before things got serious the mutually broke things off (which is what I think she wants me to believe) but a week before they broke things off she tells me that she wants to seperate because I have not shown her that I wanted to be fully committed to our marriage due to my past and present actions and that I really need to show her that I wanted to be married to her ( I know the timing sounds to right) but anyhow after there so called mutual brake off she was in a mild depression she says that it is hard because he was such a good friend he made her feel appreciated and like he wanted her around now she says she wants to try to get back together but one foot at a time she doesn't want to jump back in the water with both feetand we need to start out slow so I have been giving her her space like she wanted no touching what so ever only talking basically going at a slugs pace to show her that I wanted to truly be committed to being married so I was pretty optimistic things were working out until on day I was looking at her phone and she text this guy saying "I need to **ck had a bad day call me" when I asked her about she says that it was a joke she knew that I was checking her messages and I hope I learned my lesson but now I am not really sure I want her back I mean I love her real deep I can't think of my life w/out her I mean I get real jealous when she goes out with her friends and when she is on the phone and I know she has not talked to the guy since there brake up he refuses to talk to her even though she has tried to talk to him to mend there friendship but he ignores her half the time I am estatic that I have the opportunity to mend our marriage but the other half I could really care less how it plays out I think maybe I want the pace to quicken and I am losing patients and intrest and as far as the trust thing goes again I trust her half the time but I have stopped looking at her E-Mails and phone and just tell myself she wouldn't do it again because I think she really wants to work things out she says she feels really really bad about what she did but does not regret it is this a bad thing or what? should I wait it out and play the game and hope my feelings rebuild? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:
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