lynn_anders Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 Yesterday I was on my boyfriend's computer, got a bit bored, decided to play some music. I assumed a folder named 'My Music' would be a good place to find some mp3s...the folder was full of pictures. As you can guess, pornography. Now that doesn't really bother me, but one thing really did. (A bunch of it was gay porn, this came as a shock to me, since I know my boyfriend is not into these things. Even though it shocked me at first, I don't really mind if he is into that stuff.) The thing that really struck me were file names hinting at child porn. Little boys playing with each other or pre-teen girls doing this and that...I was stunned. This is not the person I know and this has made me very uncomfortable. I can't confront him about this directly because I will put myself and him in a very uncomfortable situation - and the outcome won't be good, I know this. I just don't know what to do. I'm sure there is an explanation that is not as terrifying as I think. Please tell me what you would do, this is really killing me and I can't sleep. I'm assuming that people who download porn, accidentally download all sorts of things because they just select everything and start downloading without looking what it is. I'm hoping this is the case but I don't think I can find out. PLEASE, help.
westernxer Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 LEAVE before law enforcement busts his ass. Your knowing makes you an accomplice if you don't do anything about it. This is serious s***.
Author lynn_anders Posted May 7, 2006 Author Posted May 7, 2006 I know it's serious but I can't do this, for many reasons. I'm quite certain it is all a mistake and not the way it seems, I just don't know how to get that cleared up 100%
westernxer Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 When he's around, ask him if you can play some music from his music folder. Then monitor his reaction and go from there.
Alexandra Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 I'm assuming that people who download porn, accidentally download all sorts of things because they just select everything and start downloading without looking what it is. I'm hoping this is the case but I don't think I can find out. PLEASE, help. Yup, that is generally the case from what I hear from the porn addicts I work with. It can also be a case of curiosity but not deleting them while in the US is a bad idea. It's actually a very good reason to confront him in a seemingly caring way. Tell him what you told us, I don't see what the harm is. You found them by accident, you're okay with the porn part, you're worried for the legal implications so will he delete them? Many women trying to curve their partner's porn addiction have used the "it's illegal card". In your case it's actually true so I think finding a way to break it to him and save both your behinds in more ways than one would be wise.
Author lynn_anders Posted May 7, 2006 Author Posted May 7, 2006 Hmm it's going to have to be something like that- I'm just going to have to observe him and his reactions. I might start a conversation on a related topic and see how he acts. We live very far apart, so it will be a very long time until I'm anywhere near his computer.
alphamale Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 I'm assuming that people who download porn, accidentally download all sorts of things because they just select everything and start downloading without looking what it is. I'm hoping this is the case but I don't think I can find out. PLEASE, help. Trust me L_A....you won't find gay or kiddie porn on some dude's computer unless he's into that to some extent. There may be one or two pics by accident. Sounds like we may have a homosexual or a molestor on our hands here!
Author lynn_anders Posted May 7, 2006 Author Posted May 7, 2006 Yup, that is generally the case from what I hear from the porn addicts I work with. It can also be a case of curiosity but not deleting them while in the US is a bad idea. It's actually a very good reason to confront him in a seemingly caring way. Tell him what you told us, I don't see what the harm is. You found them by accident, you're okay with the porn part, you're worried for the legal implications so will he delete them? Many women trying to curve their partner's porn addiction have used the "it's illegal card". In your case it's actually true so I think finding a way to break it to him and save both your behinds in more ways than one would be wise. I think that's a good idea, I would have to carefully plan how I say everything, I don't want to seem like I'm attacking him - I know it will be an awkward situation in either case. I didn't mention that all the files were 0KB, I'm not sure what that implies at all. They don't really exist (you can't look at them), there's only a file name that gives away as to what it is/supposed to be.
Author lynn_anders Posted May 7, 2006 Author Posted May 7, 2006 Trust me L_A....you won't find gay or kiddie porn on some dude's computer unless he's into that to some extent. There may be one or two pics by accident. Sounds like we may have a homosexual or a molestor on our hands here! He is not like that AT ALL. I know him and we have been together for over 2 years. I know it seems very fishy and quite convincing but I just know it's not like what it seems. That's just not him.
westernxer Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 He is not like that AT ALL. I know him and we have been together for over 2 years. I know it seems very fishy and quite convincing but I just know it's not like what it seems. That's just not him. Let's hope not. You do live far apart, so anything goes in the time you aren't together. Not trying to scare you, but when it comes to porn, where there's smoke there's an occasional flaming fire. Pun intended. Until you know for sure, don't lose any sleep over this.
Alexandra Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 I think that's a good idea, I would have to carefully plan how I say everything, I don't want to seem like I'm attacking him - I know it will be an awkward situation in either case. I didn't mention that all the files were 0KB, I'm not sure what that implies at all. They don't really exist (you can't look at them), there's only a file name that gives away as to what it is/supposed to be. Uh oh if AlphaMale promised you it must be true! Okay if they were 0Kb he deleted them already but couldn't get rid of the file name too. That happens when one deletes the files downloaded with one of the freeshare programs while the program is still running. Renaming them and then deleting again once the program is off cures it in most cases. -I read this about those evil evil programs in a magazine! I do NOT know this first hand!!! Please agent, believe me! - Anyhow Lynn, you're not supposed to have necessarily known you can't look at them and that they're 0Kb You opened by mistake, saw the names, freaked out and closed, you see! Hence you still have your point. Which in actuallity you still do, it's a bad idea to have even the file names. Do watch his reactions too though although he is going to look embarassed and red to his ears whether he was just curious or he's into that kind of stuff. Despite AlphaMale's expert advice gay molestors statistically don't go through the trouble to hold heterosexual relationships for kicks:cool:
Author lynn_anders Posted May 7, 2006 Author Posted May 7, 2006 Westernxer, well it does scare me a bit after reading what you said. At least I decided in this short time to confront him about it. I just wish this didn't happen. I will ask him tomorrow if I get the chance, he wouldn't be able to lie to me and I'm sure afterwards I'll feel 10000x times better than I do now.
Author lynn_anders Posted May 7, 2006 Author Posted May 7, 2006 Thank you Alexandra I was hoping to hear that from at least someone else, since I've been assuming it since I saw them. I will have a talk very soon, like I said.
alphamale Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 Despite AlphaMale's expert advice gay molestors statistically don't go through the trouble to hold heterosexual relationships for kicks:cool: I disagre...there have been some homosexual child murders who were married. John Wayne Gacy comes to mind. You know, the fat dude who lived in Chicago, used to entertain kids in clown outfits. The found like 30+ little boy's bodies in the crawl-space of his basement
westernxer Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 I just wish this didn't happen. Don't you love surprises? Anyhow, hang in there.
Alexandra Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 Originally Posted by Alexandra Despite AlphaMale's expert advice gay molestors statistically don't go through the trouble to hold heterosexual relationships for kicks I disagre...there have been some homosexual child murders who were married. John Wayne Gacy comes to mind. You know, the fat dude who lived in Chicago, used to entertain kids in clown outfits. The found like 30+ little boy's bodies in the crawl-space of his basement Oh boy you just have to fight me on anything don'tcha? Re-read! I said STATISTICALLY. Incidentally a statistics is made by including the Gacys of the world in it and yet what most of them (the statistics not the murderous clowns) have in common is that they outline a majority. I was merely saying where that majority is at, in this case.
Art_Critic Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 If he had any peer to peer software installed to download music and set his software to serve up files then someone could've downloaded them to his computer without his knowledge and then he will serve them up for other downloaders Edonkey is one that installs as a server by default.. the user has no idea what is happening.
alphamale Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 Oh boy you just have to fight me on anything don'tcha? Re-read! I said STATISTICALLY. Incidentally a statistics is made by including the Gacys of the world in it and yet what most of them (the statistics not the murderous clowns) have in common is that they outline a majority. I was merely saying where that majority is at, in this case. child molesters are harder to catch when they exhibit a cloak of normality... Catholic priests are a perfect example. They have easy access to little boys and are authority figures and are supposed to be celibate. What a perfect disguise!
Guest Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 If he had any peer to peer software installed to download music and set his software to serve up files then someone could've downloaded them to his computer without his knowledge and then he will serve them up for other downloaders Edonkey is one that installs as a server by default.. the user has no idea what is happening. Hm, I didn't know this, but I was too stunned to check what program the folder was from. It could be it, though. And it's very weird for a program to work like that, since you'd end up having illegal stuff on your computer you could get busted for.
Alexandra Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 If he had any peer to peer software installed to download music and set his software to serve up files then someone could've downloaded them to his computer without his knowledge and then he will serve them up for other downloaders Edonkey is one that installs as a server by default.. the user has no idea what is happening. Yup that too, it slipped my mind before. (And welcome, have you been hiding not to pay your debts? I'll make you a deal make AlphaMale show less of his extensive child molestor culture and I'll take a few thousands off your IOU.)
westernxer Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 If he had any peer to peer software installed to download music and set his software to serve up files then someone could've downloaded them to his computer without his knowledge and then he will serve them up for other downloaders Edonkey is one that installs as a server by default.. the user has no idea what is happening. That's true. His computer could very well be a zombie machine, one of countless spam depots.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 I'm sorry, but if it was in a folder, he probably intentoinally saved them. That doesn't make him a child molester, per say ,but it does make him into kiddie porn. I had a similar incident with my x, but where the pictures weren't of kids, but of trannies. I tried the accidental downloading argument, but she didn't buy it and it was indeed a lie. She said that if I had pictures of that stuff, then I must have some bisexual tendencies and be curious enough to experiment and to her credit, she wasn't wrong. I would be very,very concerned. Child molesters often seem like the most normal people, but they hold on to some part of their childhood and end up eroticizing it.
burning 4 revenge Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 If he had any peer to peer software installed to download music and set his software to serve up files then someone could've downloaded them to his computer without his knowledge and then he will serve them up for other downloaders Edonkey is one that installs as a server by default.. the user has no idea what is happening. They aren't going to name the files for christ sakes
Art_Critic Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 They aren't going to name the files for christ sakes We had a sales rep at work that installed edonkey and without his knowledge there were files downloaded of teens having sex.. The file names had their ages in them.." 2 14 year olds having sex for the first time " He found them on his computer and came to me to find out how they got there ( in his movies directory ) I opened up Edonkey and looked at the log and sure enough someone had uploaded them to his computer so they would be advertised for the downloaders.. So yes it can happen.. I have witnessed it myself
Alexandra Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 I'm sorry, but if it was in a folder, he probably intentoinally saved them. That doesn't make him a child molester, per say ,but it does make him into kiddie porn. Not at all, technically you can assign your downloading program to download into any folder you wish. ANY. MyDocuments is even the default location of many of these programs once you install them. Not saying it's not possible but again Lynn from the many I've worked with there hasn't been one that hadn't taken his porn addiction to higher or rather lower levels. Usually it's towards homosexuality, fetishism (uh alright bad example that's not low in general but it depends on the fetish in itself), scatophilia and zoophilia. A porn addict gets rightfully bored with the normal sort of porn and wants variation to an imperative degree, a stronger stimulus but one that usually is not lasting. So again, keep your mind open to all options, it is indeed possible it's his situation as well, see if you can't discuss openly about it with him and make sure to suggest whatever the problem is, it can be fixed but I am willing to bet a theoretical farm on how it was either Edonkey or plain old temporary curiosity killing your tomcat.
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