AnnaJ Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 Hey, I've only posted a few things on this forum but I hope I can ask your advice now. My current boyfriend at the moment is lovely when he's happy, sometimes too smothering though. The last week things have gone so wrong, he keeps having a go at me, doesn't trust me. He had a go at me and accused me of seeing other men when I went for a drink with one of my girlfriends. It really hurt, he keeps saying he trusts me but I know he doesn't as he wouldn't carry on the way he does. We have continued arguing, and he never listens or understands me. I am hurting because the arguments make me feel like crap, and he expects everything to be fine. I found myself closing down to him as I'm being hurt. Then he has a go because I am distant, and then says that my ex is to blame for hurting me and to just get over it. It's not that easy. We have been together since December. I have found myself opening up, but I've closed down since he has being having a go. When he speaks to me, he talks to me like I'm a dog he has to command. When he wants me inside someonewhere, he'll shout and point. Sorry this is going on. On Thursday he decided to start a fight at a friends dinner party. Infront of everyone he shouted and reduced me to tears, and just kept shouting. He demanded me to stay at his apartment, because I was so scared I did. I thought he might shut up, but he carried on shouting. When he's had a drink he's nasty. Uses emotional blackmail on me, if I don't do this and that he'll break up with me. I've had enough now, he's got such a nice side though. Please any advice would be helpful. Anna J x
tikigods Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 I think you need to get out of dodge, sooner rather then later. The vrey fact that he scares you into doing what he wants you to do is abuse, drinking or not.
garnet Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 AnnaJ, This situation is EXACTLY what happened in a relationship of mine many years ago. Trust me, you need to leave this man. He has a serious problem and IT WILL NOT GET BETTER unless he seeks help. He has a deep insecurity in himself which you cannot help him with no matter what you do. All of the warning signs are there...this is a classic case of someone who verbally and mentally abuses. Please take care of yourself and get out of it. Unfortunately, I didn't get out of mine for several years, and not before a lot of damage was done to my self esteem. It took a long time to recover from...I'd hate for the same thing to happen to you.
Author AnnaJ Posted May 7, 2006 Author Posted May 7, 2006 Thanks for all your advice, I am really appriciative. It's funny if I heard from a friend that her bf was like it, I would tell her to leave, funny how when it's you the situation and problem becomes harder. The problem is he is being so nice now, apoligising, and everything. I know in my head it should be over, but I just don't know.
Recommended Posts