beachrosie Posted May 8, 2006 Posted May 8, 2006 I feel the same way Movingon. I didn't even get out of bed, all day yesterday! I feel so terribly confused and saddened. I haven't spoke to my MM in 7 days and it feels like it all was a dream. I feel so sad and wounded...I feel so dumb. I am at work now, but I want to go home and climb back into bed. I really love this person that I am having NC with, and miss him terribly. I feel sick to my stomach and don't really feel like I am going to snap out of it. I could have went on a date this weekend, but blew it off because I am not happy. I am sinking and scared.
zarathustra Posted May 8, 2006 Posted May 8, 2006 I feel the same way Movingon. I didn't even get out of bed, all day yesterday! I feel so terribly confused and saddened. I haven't spoke to my MM in 7 days and it feels like it all was a dream. I feel so sad and wounded...I feel so dumb. I am at work now, but I want to go home and climb back into bed. I really love this person that I am having NC with, and miss him terribly. I feel sick to my stomach and don't really feel like I am going to snap out of it. I could have went on a date this weekend, but blew it off because I am not happy. I am sinking and scared. Beach! What's happened? I thought that your MM left the W already? I hope you are feeling better! It sucks where you are at right now, but you just have to focus on the fact that things will be better than this. Take things day by day.
beachrosie Posted May 8, 2006 Posted May 8, 2006 Beach! What's happened? I thought that your MM left the W already? I hope you are feeling better! It sucks where you are at right now, but you just have to focus on the fact that things will be better than this. Take things day by day. Yes...he did leave and then a giant hole opened up and his wife attempted to cause unbelievable harm to me, my family and my JOB. I had to back away because of this, because it may never stop. He also said he had to "get me out of the nightmare he calls his life". He knows that her and her drug abusing relatives would never let me be. I haven't seen or talked to him in a week, and feel so sad and miserable. She really tried to hurt someone that was very innocent, and she is evil. She was evil before I ever entered into the picture. He often said he wished she was taken from the earth by her own accord. I look like I am falling asleep when I am wide awake. My spirit feels broken, as does my heart. I am not bouncing, I feel like I have crashed. Can someone please tell me how no contact is the best way to end something? That is what I am doing, but I am not doing so well. I'm acting very self destructively. Thank you for being here everyone.
zarathustra Posted May 8, 2006 Posted May 8, 2006 Yes...he did leave and then a giant hole opened up and his wife attempted to cause unbelievable harm to me, my family and my JOB. I had to back away because of this, because it may never stop. He also said he had to "get me out of the nightmare he calls his life". He knows that her and her drug abusing relatives would never let me be. I haven't seen or talked to him in a week, and feel so sad and miserable. She really tried to hurt someone that was very innocent, and she is evil. She was evil before I ever entered into the picture. He often said he wished she was taken from the earth by her own accord. I look like I am falling asleep when I am wide awake. My spirit feels broken, as does my heart. I am not bouncing, I feel like I have crashed. Can someone please tell me how no contact is the best way to end something? That is what I am doing, but I am not doing so well. I'm acting very self destructively. Thank you for being here everyone. Oh Beach... hugs!!! I feel horrible for what you are going through. I guess what you are feeling is withdrawal symptoms. He's like a drug to you and you're addicted to him. When he is free, he will come to you. But until then you need to live your life. Go out with friends. Join a class or a team sport. Whatever you've wanted to do in your life but haven't done yet, go do it. If you want to travel, go away for a bit. It is so much easier for me to say this to you than to actually do it. And chances are, you won't do it until you really feel up for the challenge. That's ok. Its ok to mope around a bit. Its ok to cry. Its perfectly normal to grieve. The fact that you do tells you how wonderful you are. That you have the ability to love someone as much as you love this MM. But until he is free to be with you, you need to learn to get on with your life. I've followed your story, but if she is trying to harm you, then its best that you two keep your distance until the dust settles. If he loves you, then this will be temporary. If its not temporary, then you never had him in the first place.
lovernotafighter Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 oh Beach I can't even imagine what is happening there *group hugs* i wonder if you got a restraining order or something if that would help...you shouldn't have to deal with all your pain and to top it off a violent and abusive W.
beachrosie Posted May 9, 2006 Posted May 9, 2006 Thank you so much everyone. No, the police notified her by telephone and warned her if she or any of her cronies decided to cause me harm, she would be held personally responsible. Apparently she has many go rounds with the police before, I didn't know of this until 2 days ago. I am trying to get back to being myself, and being at peace as I was before. Strange how another person's unhealthy relationship can affect your centerness. When I think about it I find it interesting when people judge other people for being in relationships with people that are still married. It seems they forget that most marriages are nightmares and that is why one or both partners are trying to escape. They don't always do what is best, but after being in the situation I have been in, I'm surprised he didn't run off 10 years ago. It's all sickening, and I am so over mean and abusive people. It's horrible.
Author movinon05 Posted May 9, 2006 Author Posted May 9, 2006 Beach Rosie, This is awful. Is he getting help for her? or from anyone? And how old are the kids again?
beachrosie Posted May 10, 2006 Posted May 10, 2006 Apparently he is, but who knows what good any of it would do. I will be surprised if either one of them make it to 50. One child is young and the other is now a young adult (and has been in serious trouble for a long time now). I wonder if it has anything to do with being raised in a violent screaming household with things being smashed on a daily basis. This entire situation is something I should have never got close to. It is horrendous. I am so in love with someone that I shouldn't be in love with.
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