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exMM jealous of exOW new relationship but he was never going to leave W!

StoneyHeart

By StoneyHeart
in The Other Man / Woman

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While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

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Jessie61 Established Member

Jessie61

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Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results....

WA

 

WA,

 

You crack me up! :lmao: It is soooo true!

Jessie61 Established Member

Jessie61

Posted
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You have to think what whould have happened if there was no one else, would he be doing this at all. I think that it is a challenge to the MM to see if they can gain the control back as we are for the most part a peice of property that they can use when they want and put back on the shelf when they are done. Or like a child not wanting to share his toy with another. Why would the he leave his W he has it good right now, as long as you go along with what he wants then he has it real good.

 

OK, back to the thread! Of course it is a control/manipulation thing for the MM!

 

Yes, some MM's probably just sees the OW as a "piece of property", but I'd say loads actually DO love their OW's. Either way, the MM doesn't want to share his OW with anyone else and he is going to do whatever it takes to keep control of the situation.

 

"All's fair in love and war", right??? :sick:

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StoneyHeart Member

StoneyHeart

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:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

Sundays, maybe it's a God thing, but I am much better with the no contact (although not much for getting out of bed)- today, for first time I blocked him!!!! That insanity definition is really a good one! I :lmao: am so scared - I mean I just cut off my very best friend in this world. But I love the response earlier along the lines of "do you really think that if he loves you he'll find a way to contact you if he ever does leave?" He still has my numbers but we never talk on the phone so I don't expect he'll hear that. I don't want to hurt him, I want to love him forever and these emails aren't good for either of us! But IS THIS EVER SCARY! thanks for letting me vent.

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StoneyHeart Member

StoneyHeart

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also, here i am standing up for myself and the first thing that runs through my mind- "will he get a message notifying him he has been blocked?" will that hurt him? i don't want that. i just don't want to look for his messages obsessively anymore. (that i did make sure that there was a way to unblock him.....i am such an idiot!). But I am counting this as Day 1- I hear it takes 21 days to break a habit. Problem is is that he is such a good .......aggghhhhh....no, he's not or he wouldn't be doing this to all of us....

pricillia Established Member

pricillia

Posted
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also, here i am standing up for myself and the first thing that runs through my mind- "will he get a message notifying him he has been blocked?" will that hurt him? i don't want that. i just don't want to look for his messages obsessively anymore. (that i did make sure that there was a way to unblock him.....i am such an idiot!). But I am counting this as Day 1- I hear it takes 21 days to break a habit. Problem is is that he is such a good .......aggghhhhh....no, he's not or he wouldn't be doing this to all of us....

 

 

reallyI heard it takes 13 days to break a bad habbit I guess it is different for everyone, and not sure if my source is right about that, as she has allot of bad habbits...

 

you say that you want to love him forever an that you don't want to hurt him, look at what this is doing to you

 

as I said before it seems that our situations are similar , I am starting to see somone new and he is really nice, it gets easier when you meet someone else,

 

You work with him right?

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StoneyHeart Member

StoneyHeart

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reallyI heard it takes 13 days to break a bad habbit

 

You work with him right?

 

I'll take 13 over 21!:D

 

I work with him indirectly so I really can get away with avoiding him. I just need to get him off my mind 24/7! I really do think it would be good to date someone else. Problem is- last time I did that the guy went all possessive and drove me right back into thinking MM was greatest thing since sliced bread. I really would like for a really good guy to land here....but am I ready for that?....That would solve this obsession with Mr. Wrong. Maybe I'll count Mr. Possessive as the rebound guy and maybe now I can try a real relationship with a good single person....FUnny thing is is that there is another guy I've known for years that would be great and still flirts with me about once a month- and I've always put him off b/c it's long distance (as if distance is too much of an impediment but a W isn't.....goodness....where is my head??!). I probably should try not to do that R either b/c then I'll just move over to the LDR forum! :D But just thinking about the possibility is distracting enough to make me smile and not freak out over blocking MM.

pricillia Established Member

pricillia

Posted
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you will get him off of your mind, just try to do other things, I know that it is not easy.

 

I work with My we will say ex MM and I see him every day, I have not seen him since this past thursday and yes I have thought about him allot over the weekend.

 

There are so many things going on in my life right now that are out of my control things that I wish were not happening, and I am thinking about him... I wonder why though

 

The last time I saw him he insisted that he was not willing to share me with anyone else and that he has a hard time with me kissing anyone else. but the funny thing is he has not called me once to see how I am doing or just to say hi. He contacts me through e-mail and will talk to me after work as it is convienent for him...

 

all I can say now is grrrrrrrr!!!

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StoneyHeart Member

StoneyHeart

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grrrrrr......is RIGHT! I am glad I don't necessarily have to see him every day! I did that with 1st MM and would get upset if he didn't say bye, even in no contact times...never worked...one day he left me a note with his hand traced three times overlapping like he was waving (1st MM) in case he ever ran out without saying bye...man I miss him...that was so sweet...but anyway....off on a tangent I go...

 

I am sorry things are out of control in your life. At least we have this place.

 

The thing I find most interesting on this forum is everyone sounds so intelligent in they way they write, but we all put up with this stuff or them being possessive thinking they don't have to share but we do..

pricillia Established Member

pricillia

Posted
Posted

just try to use the 2% rule with him, it may not work in the beginning but

you will get there.

 

sometimes I feel like because I did what I did with a married man and now things in my life are a little out of conrol it is Karma getting back at me

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