begood2urself Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 I just started dating this girl recently. I don't know how I feel about it. I wasn't (are not) on the market for a relationship, I was actually happy being single, since my last relationship left me devastated for a year. I met this woman, we hit it off... We feel extremely comfortable around each other, even though we have only been hanging out for a couple of weeks. But I am freaking out!? There was a reason why I haven't been in a relationship for a while... that being the fact that they make me crazy, angsty, insecure and bring up all my baggage. She knows that I don't want a girlfriend, but she is still willing to hang out with me, even though its developing into that. We get along great but, we also annoy each other and have mini fights all the time... its reminds me of all of my other relationships and I don't like it. I actually hate it. I don't feel like dealing with my issues right now I was happy just where I was. She tells me that a good and healthy relationship is what will help me get the bad relationship taste out of my mouth. But I feel like she is almost trying to convince me. I like her a lot, I feel a connection, but I want to end things with her, its not even about her, I just can't deal with all of the sh*t this is bringing up for me. My friends say, don't throw something good away? Bud I dont' know.... I tend to stay with people cause I don't want to be alone. For the first time in my life I feel confident enough with myself to do be single. Advaice anyone?
Alexandra Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 First of all a question you said "she is still willing to hang out" does that mean you made it clear that it's not meant to be serious or is it another way of saying "willing to date me" to you? It's just that the term "hang out" seems weaker and more towards just spending time together. Second, had this been a longer relationship (e.g. had been dating her for several months when these feelings came over you) I would be all for working it out and waiting to see if there isn't value in it. However that's not the case, moreso, you say there are "mini-fights" already and you seem to think nothing of it but if there have when it's only been a few weeks it does sound like a possible red flag. Last but not least, it sounds to me like you really don't want to be with her more than it is that you really want to be on your own. Whichever of the two it is though, since you're this dead set on "I don't want" it has very little chances of working out hence the only two alternatives IMO are to either A. Have a serious talk with yourself and work out if it's not the fear of getting hurt stopping you and maybe work that issue out in your mind giving you two a chance; or to B. Indeed end it and focus on getting into the right mind frame to make a relationship possible later on.
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