radiation7740 Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 These boards are so addicting. I've spent most of my day off reading threads.
Touche Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 Stab dully noted Goddess However, I have to say, this particular "laywoman" is right on the spot and many times worth ten professionals It wasn't a stab, Alexandra but I'm glad you have a sense of humor about it. I actually really respect your views on things. And I don't always agree with you either but when I do, wow I think you're right on target and pull no punches! And thanks so much for the compliment! Right back at ya! But you know what it is? I have NO academic training (well just very basic) in your area but you know what I DO have? Over 40 years of LIFE experience. Been through one bad marriage, am in one GREAT marriage for almost 11 years now, have been a stepmom, dealt with the ex, raised by a single mom with some issues, dealt with abuse...I mean I can go on and on. There is no better teacher than LIFE experience. I've come out on the other end and lived to tell about it all. And I have not only lived and survived to tell about it, I've done it very well, if I do say so myself. I feel I have valuable things to contribute, even without a degree in psychology. Of course, I'm not perfect. I have weaknesses and faults like we all do but I think I can help others in my own way. Again, thank you so much Alexandra. I've been taking a beating from some on here lately who don't like or understand me. So I do appreciate it.
Touche Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 I moved out just 3 months before my 18th birthday. You don't get it do you? I moved out when I was 17 also. Please go back and read. We're talking psychologically here, not financially. You won't tell us your age now will you?
radiation7740 Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 I don't see anything wrong with my development. It's not like I'm joining the military or having children. If either one of those were the case then I would be forced to grow up psychologically. I'm 25 years old going on 26. I don't see a problem with my maturity. I think the one who has the maturity problem is the one who is judging me. It's not like I'm a criminal. I don't act like a juvenile deliquent. I'm a law abiding citizen and I pull my weight in society.
Touche Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 I don't see anything wrong with my development. It's not like I'm joining the military or having children. If either one of those were the case then I would be forced to grow up psychologically. "Forced?" I would think you'd WANT to grow up psychologically speaking. Well, as long as you're happy I see no harm in it I guess. But I wonder if you're REALLY happy though? I think your "macho" stance is a fake one.
radiation7740 Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 "Forced?" I would think you'd WANT to grow up psychologically speaking. Well, as long as you're happy I see no harm in it I guess. But I wonder if you're REALLY happy though? I think your "macho" stance is a fake one. Whether it's fake or not is not the issue. I believe in faking it until I make it. Maybe deep down I'm not happy but I'm doing a better job of faking it when I'm out in public.
Alexandra Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 Again, thank you so much Alexandra. I've been taking a beating from some on here lately who don't like or understand me. So I do appreciate it. You're very welcome, if someone can't tell you're a highly intelligent and insightful woman they're seriously losing out. True that about life, I've often times mused how good of a shrink I could have been had I had a wonderful childhood and zero relationship experience. Not that great I suspect but at times that doesn't sound like a bad trade either. Now back on the following boy-wonder-writer... Lishy, MadDog, Panda, isn't what he's describing exactly what this thread was speaking of? Except for the well quoted theoretical parts about self improvement, of course. Bah off the subject from now on I'll refrain, I promise.
Touche Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 Ok, I see you edited to include your age. That makes me less worried for you..I mean the fact that you're only 25. I GUARANTEE that in only FIVE years, you're entire mindset will be different. Come back on here at 30 and see if you're still saying the same things. Your attitudes about things will be completely different. You'll see. Actually, there's not a thing wrong with you. You're perfectly normal, for a 25 year old, in my opinion. Hey, that's no slam. I was just like you at that age and so were many of us. Hopefully some of the "old-timers" on here will back me up on this. Hey, I remember 25 like it was yesterday. Sure don't miss my 20's though! It's a very confusing time. You're still trying to find your identity. At least most of us are/were at that age. In the meantime, your attitude isn't bad really. Keep pursuing your own interests. So who gets the privilege of receiving this manual of yours? s***, I need a good laugh tonight! Sorry, sorry, sorry. Can't help myself! I'm kidding. Really. But if I'm really nice to you, can I get a little sample of it?
Touche Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 Whether it's fake or not is not the issue. I believe in faking it until I make it. Maybe deep down I'm not happy but I'm doing a better job of faking it when I'm out in public. Well, again I can't disagree with this at all. Keep it up. I think you're going to do just fine.
Touche Posted May 6, 2006 Posted May 6, 2006 You're very welcome, if someone can't tell you're a highly intelligent and insightful woman they're seriously losing out. True that about life, I've often times mused how good of a shrink I could have been had I had a wonderful childhood and zero relationship experience. Not that great I suspect but at times that doesn't sound like a bad trade either. Now back on the following boy-wonder-writer... Lishy, MadDog, Panda, isn't what he's describing exactly what this thread was speaking of? Except for the well quoted theoretical parts about self improvement, of course. Bah off the subject from now on I'll refrain, I promise. Thank you again you sweet woman! Ok, don't you think radiation should share his manual with us? You can do a professional evaluation. And Lishy, sorry about the OT posts here but let's get back to you for a moment. I have news for you. The type of thing you're talking about goes on not only in dating but in ALL relationships I find. It happens between our friends and with our spouses. It's like I've said in another thread. It's just using what you know about psychology and human nature to make relationships be as smooth as possible. And yes, to get what you want sometimes. I choose to not call it a "game." It's a kind of training, if you will. You're training someone else to learn how to treat you. I can give examples if you need them but you probably know what I'm talking about.
Alexandra Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 Thank you again you sweet woman! Ok, don't you think radiation should share his manual with us? You can do a professional evaluation. Nope, not me and stop opening the not-yet-healed-wound inflicted upon me by radiation's subtle implications of my eyes being unworthy of the creation.
Touche Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 Nope, not me and stop opening the not-yet-healed-wound inflicted upon me by radiation's subtle implications of my eyes being unworthy of the creation. :laugh: Very funny! Ok, I'll back off on that. Anyway, radiation you might need a few more years experience before you right this tome. Just a thought...I could be wrong though (seriously doubt it though:lmao: )
Author Lishy Posted May 7, 2006 Author Posted May 7, 2006 Oooooooooooo hello again guys! Well he came around to my place earlier and he turned up with flowers! I cannot ever remember being given flowers! We sat and chatted and laughed and we kissed and cuddled and OMG he is so nice! I was really hungover from last night and I was so tired and I fell asleep in his arms whilst he was stroking my face! I am not after marriage and more kids and what he is giving me right now is just what the doctor ordered! A guy who is not just out to lay me! A guy who treats me like he does and makes me feel so special!
alphamale Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 It will be interesting to see how this plays out, Lishy. I tend to agree with Alpha in that when a nice guy is straight up with a women and shows his interest she starts to see him more as a friend than as a lover. She might even love him but that in-love feeling is missing. Women put so much stock in the romance that a nice guy just doesn't measure up in the sexuality department. They just loose their desire to take him home and rip off his clothes. He then gets the friends speech and this is why men play games. I rest my case.... I always play it cool with women and am indifferent (not faking indifferent but truly indifferent) because I always know there are more chicks around the corner. Women sense this indifference and then chase me. It works! and OMG he is so nice! man, thats the kiss of death for any man!
Author Lishy Posted May 7, 2006 Author Posted May 7, 2006 hey chase you to get what they cant have Alpha - Then they get it cos really you are cheap and will give it up! But how many mean anything to you? How many do you mean anything to? You are just a challenge to them, you are not more attractive! - Ultimately you are just BOTH playing cat and mouse and getting nowhere fast! Sex with someone you love is soooooooo much better!
Touche Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 I rest my case.... I always play it cool with women and am indifferent (not faking indifferent but truly indifferent) because I always know there are more chicks around the corner. Women sense this indifference and then chase me. It works! man, thats the kiss of death for any man! I don't know Alpha. Maybe certain kind of women do that. Get all excited by your indifference and chase you. But some of us aren't in that category. We don't HAVE to chase. Men chase US. And if they don't and are waiting for ME to do the chasing, well then those kinds will ALWAYS miss out. THAT kind of man, the kind you are talking about, ends up with the scraps. So how's that workin' for ya?
alphamale Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 I don't know Alpha. Maybe certain kind of women do that. Get all excited by your indifference and chase you. What "certain kinds"? You mean the attractive and educated ones? Cause those are the women I hang out with and who chase me.
Touche Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 What "certain kinds"? You mean the attractive and educated ones? Cause those are the women I hang out with and who chase me. Yeah, well that's what YOU say! I'm not so sure about that. In fact, I don't believe it for ONE minute. If you played your cards right you could do MUCH better than what you've been getting. Besides, how come they don't stay with you? Uh...let me guess. It's because YOU tire of THEM and dump them, right? Yeah...ok. Right.
Alexandra Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 Yeah, well that's what YOU say! I'm not so sure about that. In fact, I don't believe it for ONE minute. It's all about standards, innit? To someone illiterate someone who's graduated junior high IS educated, let's not even get into how pretty Fiona was to Shrek... Have a little compasion, let's not judge!
alphamale Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 Besides, how come they don't stay with you? Uh...let me guess. It's because YOU tire of THEM and dump them, right? um, yeah...that's about right. I bore easily with women :yawn:
Touche Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 um, yeah...that's about right. I bore easily with women :yawn: You are bored easily by women or YOU bore THEM? Not sure what you mean here. And Alexandra is correct. This IS about standards. To you the scraps you get that you say are intelligent and gorgeous are probably flawed in a BIG way. If they weren't they wouldn't be chasing YOU. They'd be too busy being chased by real men. So yeah, it's all about standards. To some men, beautiful educated broken women are desirable.
Yamaha Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 That sentence makes no sense to me. If it does to others who have been reading your style for longer I'd be happy to be enlightened, though. What does "romance" have to do with "sexuality" in the way you've placed them in context? Rather how is sexuality not contained in the idea of romance that apparently women put so much "stock in". Did you mean being romantic makes a man less desirable sexually? Because if that's what you're saying I think we can safely ask even the most vehement of "man-haters" to speak up and they'll dismantle that one. If not, what DID you mean? What I mean, Alexandra is that a nice guy doesn't give that spark that women always talk about in going from friends to romance. He can be as nice as pie but if the sexual chemistry isn't there it's no go for romance. Being romantic does not make you less desirable sexually ( as a man ) but a nice guy tends to be less aggressive and therefore rather passive. Not all nice guys are this way but look at all the posts from nice guys and see how they're doing in the romance department.
Guest Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 The people who lead boring lives the only place they can get excitment and fun is DRAMA. Why not lead an exciting life...and find a partner to enjoy the ride with. Relationships can be fun and exciting because of what you do together...not because of the DRAMA that transpires between you.
Author Lishy Posted May 7, 2006 Author Posted May 7, 2006 You are bored easily by women or YOU bore THEM? Not sure what you mean here. And Alexandra is correct. This IS about standards. To you the scraps you get that you say are intelligent and gorgeous are probably flawed in a BIG way. If they weren't they wouldn't be chasing YOU. They'd be too busy being chased by real men. So yeah, it's all about standards. To some men, beautiful educated broken women are desirable. So beautifully said! Alpha, I would love you to tell us your REAL feelings and experiences here! I bet you are not the man you pretend to be on here ... For a guy with so many posts under his belt we know nothing about you .... What are you hiding?
Touche Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 So beautifully said! Alpha, I would love you to tell us your REAL feelings and experiences here! I bet you are not the man you pretend to be on here ... For a guy with so many posts under his belt we know nothing about you .... What are you hiding? Lishy, thank you for that. And I agree with you. We are NOT seeing the REAL Alpha at all. And I don't think we will either. He RAN from my posts. I hit home, I know. He's as insecue as the next schlub. It comes across loud and clear. And I've never exposed him before because I actually like him. But I thought it was time. And I actually STILL like the guy...never would date a guy like him (he'd be in the friend zone though:p ) He's smart and amusing but not relationship material at all. His attitudes are actually self-destructive and too extreme. Yes, there's grains of truth in what he says but he takes it too much to the extreme. And I don't think it's working for him. He, just like someone else on here, will soon be stripped naked and exposed to not be quite the guys they portray themselves as being. I've seen Alpha's type before. Likeable guys, but a "together" woman would run from him. She might sleep with him but that's all he'd be good for.
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