Lishy Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 Ok guys so I read all over this site how, when you meet someone, you should be a bit of a mystery, dont be too predictable, dont always answer calls and texts and leave them waiting a bit, dont call first so so on and so forth! Ok so what happens if you meet someone and it is all so easy and there is no uncertainty and you feel secure that he will call when he says he will and that if he does not reply to a text or a call there is a reason and there is no game playing ....... Is that bad? This has happened to me and this guy is so damn nice and so damn hilarious to talk to and to text with. He is not over the top saying silly things but he has made me feel so good all week just by being himself! He calls when he says he will and he texts me every day and makes my day with the funny things he sayd and all the sweet things he says! I dont want the game playing and the feeling of "will he call? why isnt he replying? is he into me?" I have had that and it didnt feel good it made me feel sick! I hate game playing! But is this wrong? Should it be like this? It all feels so easy, I guess I am waiting on the bubble to burst cos can it be this easy?
Star Gazer Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 My BF and I have not played "the game," but I think it's because he's been out of the dating game a long time (he's divorced, single dad, not a big "dater") and when I'm reeeeeeally into a guy and reeeeeeeally comfortable with him (as you seem to be with yours), I just don't want the B.S., ya know? I'm right with ya on this one.
Author Lishy Posted May 4, 2006 Author Posted May 4, 2006 It is the same with me and him - We have both been out of the dating game and we are both parents. On paper he is everything I have wanted in a guy! Does anyone have any tips as I dont date (out of fear) and this is the first guy I have met who I can see me wanting something with. The more I talk to him, the more I like him! He is so easy to talk to. I dont have to think about what I say and we talk so easy and for hours!
Pyro Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 It is the same with me and him - We have both been out of the dating game and we are both parents. On paper he is everything I have wanted in a guy! Does anyone have any tips as I dont date (out of fear) and this is the first guy I have met who I can see me wanting something with. The more I talk to him, the more I like him! He is so easy to talk to. I dont have to think about what I say and we talk so easy and for hours! First of all, let me assure you that you do not have to play any games for a relationship to last. The only advice that i can say is to take things slow. Do not rush anything, and it never hurts to be spontaneous about what you do with this guy. Try new things out. That will always keep things interesting.
Author Lishy Posted May 4, 2006 Author Posted May 4, 2006 it is so new - I am not taling about him being the love of my life as I do not know him well enough for that ....... It just seems so easy and I am used to meeting guys who say they will call and dont or guys who just want to use me for sex! This guy has not said one crude thing and he seems so normal - He makes me feel so good! I am meeting him again tomorrow night and I am so excited! We have not even kissed yet so I will let you know what happens tomorrow!!!!!!!! I guess I am just so shocked at how easy he is to talk to and how genuine he seems! And let me tell you that I am a GREAT judge of character and see what a person is really like within an hour of talking to them even if I ignore my doubts alot! I have spoken to this guy for hours and hours and not once has an alarm bell rang!
Walk Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 Yay!! Lishy may have found a keeper! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. The kind of "dating" your describing is the best, in my opinion. Where it comes easily and naturally. Don't have all that wated energy on "is he going to call?" "is it too early to call him?".. yada yada... Congrats on finding a good guy Lish. I love those butterfly, excited feelings. That's so awesome!
OPTIPESSIMISTIC Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 On paper he is everything I have wanted in a guy! Well, as the saying goes, "good on paper, bad in bed."
alphamale Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 Ok so what happens if you meet someone and it is all so easy and there is no uncertainty and you feel secure that he will call when he says he will and that if he does not reply to a text or a call there is a reason and there is no game playing ....... Is that bad? Basically....yes. No game playing equates to boring and no excitement in the female mind. Most women say they don't want game playing but when guys like this dude come along they get bored and put him as a friend. Women love the excitement and uncertainty and they love the chase. If a particlar man is too easy to get then his value is less. Unfortunately LISHY this man you talk of will get nowhere with you romantically or sexually. But...he may entertain you in other ways for a while.
basscatcher Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 Basically....yes. No game playing equates to boring and no excitement in the female mind. Most women say they don't want game playing but when guys like this dude come along they get bored and put him as a friend. Women love the excitement and uncertainty and they love the chase. If a particlar man is too easy to get then his value is less. Unfortunately LISHY this man you talk of will get nowhere with you romantically or sexually. But...he may entertain you in other ways for a while. Someday Alphie I hope you eat your words on this thought.. I believe there ARE women out there who do not like, need or want games.. Excitment yes, spontinaity yes, excitement yes. A man can do all this if he is creative and imaginitive. There is no need to play mind games with a woman that will make her question the mans interest in her. Some women (if not most) have a lot of experience with men who play games. It keeps the womans adreniline going yes but its not healthy. It does make her feel sick. I literally get nauseous when a man starts to play games with me. My mind is so confused. My feelings are all over the place. I want to feel and know the security of his interest in me not be left guessing why he didn't contact me. When a man plays games he is feeding the 'drama addiction' that other men have developed in these women. It's not healthy.. Alpha you have commented that you have dated 'crazy' women (in general) maybe thats because they have been played with too much and their nerves are hyper-sensitive and creates them to be overly reactive..? Just an idea... I know I'm paranoid with men because of the games. I hate it.. It makes me feel literally and physically ill.. I can't stand the drama.. I've data a few men that didn't play games but where exciting in the fact that I never knew what they were going to do. They were playful (water fights, mud fights, even when eating or cooking we would have food fights), flirty, mysterious in plans for adventure, romantic. that kept me interested and I didn't get bored...
Pyro Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 I believe there ARE women out there who do not like, need or want games.. Excitment yes, spontinaity yes, excitement yes. A man can do all this if he is creative and imaginitive. There is no need to play mind games with a woman that will make her question the mans interest in her. Some women (if not most) have a lot of experience with men who play games. It keeps the womans adreniline going yes but its not healthy. It does make her feel sick. I literally get nauseous when a man starts to play games with me. My mind is so confused. My feelings are all over the place. I want to feel and know the security of his interest in me not be left guessing why he didn't contact me. When a man plays games he is feeding the 'drama addiction' that other men have developed in these women. It's not healthy.. I've data a few men that didn't play games but where exciting in the fact that I never knew what they were going to do. They were playful (water fights, mud fights, even when eating or cooking we would have food fights), flirty, mysterious in plans for adventure, romantic. that kept me interested and I didn't get bored... Bravo! Very well said.
Fun2BMe Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 I know I'm paranoid with men because of the games. I hate it.. It makes me feel literally and physically ill.. I can't stand the drama.. I agree. I am currently feeling physically sick in my stomach and maybe in my head too not knowing what the man I am dating is up to. He is not calling regularly like before or communicating and I hate it badly.
Alexandra Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 Anyone ever noticed how when we think about something, plan it, overanalyse it, ask for advice and build up a strategy on how to solve or better something in our relationship it's "thoughtful caring" and when they do it it's "playing games"?
Fun2BMe Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 Anyone ever noticed how when we think about something, plan it, overanalyse it, ask for advice and build up a strategy on how to solve or better something in our relationship it's "thoughtful caring" and when they do it it's "playing games"? How is not calling someone when you say you will "thoughtful caring" to better something in the relationship?
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 Lishy, When I first met my husband, everything just seemed to fall into place. It was very easy because we were honest and frank with eachother. We did not say 'no' when we wanted a 'yes'. No games... and it was still very exciting. But perhaps he was my first real BF and I was relatively young and naive then. Good luck!
Alexandra Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 How is not calling someone when you say you will "thoughtful caring" to better something in the relationship? I know you're upset but I was not referring to your situation in particular in the least. In fact I don't even know your situation, how could I talk about it? -Although would love to hear it and if it's posted already just point me to the post, please.- It was a theoretical point and I think that if we can be honest to ourselves we'll admit that if we strategize ourselves it's okay, when others do it to us it's the reverse. If someone reads MadDog's thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t87665 from one end to another including how he reacted and what his resolutions are, I think it's a fine example of what would look like game playing as a result of an emotional situation. I said this there: "I always think it's a tad more fair when people like AlphaMale say they have no qualms with "the game" because quite frankly that's a vague and thankfully Politically Incorrect term which is true for anyone. No matter how much honesty one would force himself/herself to practice they're still consciently or not planning strategies, responding to reactions, in other words "playing games" if that's how we want to define it. The fine line is between continous intentional playing of games -which almost always fails- and reaction that may be defined as a game." Still stand by it. I really think it's all in how we define "the game" we all have moments when we'd fit that bill.
Fun2BMe Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 I'm not going through that exact situation but it was an example of a common game tactic but your way of saying the reaction not intentionally meant to hurt labeled as game is interesting.
MadDog Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 I think it really depends on the guy. I'm not one to normally "play games." If I'm interested in a girl, I'll show it without thinking much of it. I'll answer every call if I'm available and will respond to texts the girl has sent. In the past I didn't have much problems using that approach. But apparently some girls won't respond to that so I have to take each girl as a case by case basis. The guy you're talking to might be unreserved like me and is showing interest in you. Just go with the flow and see where it goes.
juliainoz Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 When my boyfriend and i were first seeing each other it used to be like that, we would phone whenever and talk whenever. Now we talk/sms/email once a day...and its great but there are no games still which is good We have been together over 3 and a half months now, and i think it is possible to have a good relationship without playing silly games!
Mary3 Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 Someday Alphie I hope you eat your words on this thought.. I believe there ARE women out there who do not like, need or want games.. Excitment yes, spontinaity yes, excitement yes. A man can do all this if he is creative and imaginitive. There is no need to play mind games with a woman that will make her question the mans interest in her. Some women (if not most) have a lot of experience with men who play games. It keeps the womans adreniline going yes but its not healthy. It does make her feel sick. I literally get nauseous when a man starts to play games with me. My mind is so confused. My feelings are all over the place. I want to feel and know the security of his interest in me not be left guessing why he didn't contact me. When a man plays games he is feeding the 'drama addiction' that other men have developed in these women. It's not healthy.. Alpha you have commented that you have dated 'crazy' women (in general) maybe thats because they have been played with too much and their nerves are hyper-sensitive and creates them to be overly reactive..? Just an idea... I know I'm paranoid with men because of the games. I hate it.. It makes me feel literally and physically ill.. I can't stand the drama.. I've data a few men that didn't play games but where exciting in the fact that I never knew what they were going to do. They were playful (water fights, mud fights, even when eating or cooking we would have food fights), flirty, mysterious in plans for adventure, romantic. that kept me interested and I didn't get bored... Beautifully spoken
Mary3 Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 I think it really depends on the guy. I'm not one to normally "play games." If I'm interested in a girl, I'll show it without thinking much of it. I'll answer every call if I'm available and will respond to texts the girl has sent. In the past I didn't have much problems using that approach. But apparently some girls won't respond to that so I have to take each girl as a case by case basis. The guy you're talking to might be unreserved like me and is showing interest in you. Just go with the flow and see where it goes. Great Maddog ! I think its simple math. They call = They are interested. They want to see you = Interested....Its a simple formula. Thank you for being a good guy
alphamale Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 When a man plays games he is feeding the 'drama addiction' that other men have developed in these women. It's not healthy.. what do you mean that OTHER MEN have developed? women love drama and excitement...thats what romance is all about. Its ingrained in females from the day they are born. I know I'm paranoid with men because of the games. I hate it.. It makes me feel literally and physically ill.. I can't stand the drama.. all women say this crap...then why is it in real life that the "games" produce results?? I give you example. Sometimes I would go out with a woman and show her a great time on 1st date then never call her back if I knew I would run into her again down the road at a party or event.... I would see some of them 3 or 6 months later and they would be like ""WTF Alpha, why u not call me again??" ....and I would make up some bulls*** story. Then I would take her home for sex.
Author Lishy Posted May 5, 2006 Author Posted May 5, 2006 Alpha ..... Its men like you who I dread meeting! I am going out with him in 3 hours!!!!!!
Mary3 Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 what do you mean that OTHER MEN have developed? women love drama and excitement...thats what romance is all about. Its ingrained in females from the day they are born. all women say this crap...then why is it in real life that the "games" produce results?? I give you example. Sometimes I would go out with a woman and show her a great time on 1st date then never call her back if I knew I would run into her again down the road at a party or event.... I would see some of them 3 or 6 months later and they would be like ""WTF Alpha, why u not call me again??" ....and I would make up some bulls*** story. Then I would take her home for sex. LOL ! Alpha : You could have saved 6 months of waiting for sex by simply telling her you liked her. The time frame would be individual as to how long it would be until you were intimate but you could have gotten laid sooner than 6 months had you been up front.
alphamale Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 Alpha ..... Its men like you who I dread meeting! dread = excitment
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