Spartan 117 Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 OK as time goes on with my girlfriend I learn more and more about some horrible things shes been through. First off when she was in her teens (13-14ish) her parents started forcing her to smoke methamphetamine because they were paranoid that she might narc them out. Finally her parents were arrested on drug charges, she was sent to rehab and foster care. Her mom had the option of getting her back, but she decided instead to sign her over to the state, yet keeping her brothers and sisters. So for the last few years shes been getting bounced around between foster homes, and apparently and one she was raped by someone in her foster family, the rape was so brutal that she cannot have children now. We started dating a few months ago, she was staying with a foster family she didnt much care for because they were verbally abusive and sometimes beat the children (she was the one always looking out for the other kids). She became fed up with the situation they were all in, so she called Child Protective Services, and they came under investigation by the state, this enfuriated the foster mom who started shoving my gf around, when my gf shoved back her foster mom called the cops, and she spent 23 days in juvenile hall. Luckily the whole thing was handled wrong by the cops so the case itself is getting thrown out and the foster moms in a s*** load of trouble. Now she has been sent to live with her aunt and uncle. Her uncle is an abusive alcoholic. He apparently is a bit of a shut in, and gets jealous of anyone in the family that has friends. the FIRST day she was at theyre house, he smashed her cell phone because she was calling and texting friends to let them know where she had been. Some things have come up that kind of concern me and I would like your guy's input. The first thing that struck me as odd was that after we were done having sex for the first time she actually started crying a little (this was before she told me she had been raped) when I consoled her she said they were tears of happyness (see we had known each other for a few years before everything happened and apparently she had strong feelings for me back then as well and shes never had anyone in her life that truly loved her). The other thing that worrys me is that she refuses to ask her social worker to relocate her. She says that shes been through worse, and she has a 16 year old cousin in that house and she wants to look after him. I would really like to see her in a more health environment. It really sickens me the way that so many people in her life have treated her, if I ever see her parents again I swear to god I'd kill em, much like if her uncle ever lays a finger on her hes going to have to learn how to walk all over again. Luckily shes only got 2 more months until shes 18. I'm so proud that shes such a positive person though, shes a councelor for other kids in the foster care system, especially ones who have had drug issues. She gets her GED later this month, and has already earned a full ride scholarship, and has so many hopes and dreams, shes such an inspiration. I dunno, im just looking for some advice or comments.
gemmab2020 Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 That is pretty amazing. She seems like a really strong person. It's a shame that she doesn't want to relocate to another foster family, but she may just feel that she has a duty to stay there and act as the 'greater good in the situation'. I feel a bit inspired now myself to be honest!
ReluctantRomeo Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 shes such an inspiration. Yup, she's an inspiration. Here's some advice though: hold her lightly. Issues like these don't go away from one day to the next and she may need to work a lot out before she's ready to go further in a relationship. So give her plenty of space if and when she needs it. And take it slowly, don't get too attached to her too quickly. Further advice: beware of playing the role of her rescuer or enabler. Neither are healthy.
Recommended Posts