DaveS Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 I've known this girl for about a year now. About 3 months ago, she broke up with her boyfriend of 4+ years. I've since told her I was interested in her but she told me that she thinks we click but sees me just as a friend. Personally, I think we have chemistry and commonalities - enough that I'd rather not stop the pursuit just from that one comment alone. We'll probably continue to hang out with mutual friends as we've been doing. But should I continue to pursue her or would that be too persistant? Am I being silly in believing that I might be able to change her mind? Should I ask her out again in, say, a month or two?
MadDog Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 I've since told her I was interested in her but she told me that she thinks we click but sees me just as a friend. If a girl says this, the fat lady has already sung. Push it further and you'll just lose her friendship.
noclobber Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 I have been in your situation and my advice for you would be to take it as the final answer and move on! She will not change her mind and it is really not worth the effort. Please do not hope that she might like you as more than a friend, it just doesn't work that way!
gfto Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 she told me that she thinks we click but sees me just as a friend. You've been disqualified. Am I being silly in believing that I might be able to change her mind? Yes Should I ask her out again in, say, a month or two? Absolutely not.
Yamaha Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 What she's telling you is that she likes your company but she doesn't find you attractive enough for a physical relationship. If you can get over your ego and that you have been rejected then maybe you can be friends. My advice is to accept her decision as a no and look for a girl who likes you mentally and physically.
TheSwordfish Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 I'm not sure about this. If you change the way you behave around her you might become more then friends. You can be called a friend because you are not atractive, but also because you don't fit her profile. Maybe you don't fit her profile. There are many parts of the puzzle and maybe you just don't cut it for her.
Star Gazer Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 What she's telling you is that she likes your company but she doesn't find you attractive enough for a physical relationship. I'd rephrase that, and avoid using "attractive enough." I've been friends with many guys who were smokin' hot, funny, charming, kind, intelligent, etc., but that I just didn't have that "GGRRR!" throw-down-rip-the-clothes-off kinda feeling for. It always bummed me out, because I'd think, "Ah man, WHY can't I like this guy? He's sooo awesome!" (regardless of whether or not he was interested, mind you)...there just wasn't that *spark* - and that spark CANNOT be forced or created. It's either there, or it isn't. That said, yes. You've been disqualified from the running. If you call her up and ask her to hang out, assume that it WILL be ALWAYS just as FRIENDS.
Star Gazer Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 I'm not sure about this. If you change the way you behave around her you might become more then friends. You can be called a friend because you are not atractive, but also because you don't fit her profile. Maybe you don't fit her profile. There are many parts of the puzzle and maybe you just don't cut it for her. Hmmm, good point. This is possible too. My BF doesn't fit what my "profile" used to involve (when we met [again]), but he found a way to fit into my heart.
TheSwordfish Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 This girl that liked me based on looks, dropped me when I acted like a jerk on the phone. Suddenly the awfull friends sentence came into play. First it was her being al warmed up, then I acted like an ass, and then she told me she wanted to go out as friends instead. Girls use the friends sentence if they've lost interest, it can have multiple reasons. You can be just a friend to her, well you can decide. Either accept that, or make a good move on her. Not with words, just change your behaviour. You'll lose the friendship for sure.
Yamaha Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 I'd rephrase that, and avoid using "attractive enough." I've been friends with many guys who were smokin' hot, funny, charming, kind, intelligent, etc., but that I just didn't have that "GGRRR!" throw-down-rip-the-clothes-off kinda feeling for. It always bummed me out, because I'd think, "Ah man, WHY can't I like this guy? He's sooo awesome!" (regardless of whether or not he was interested, mind you)...there just wasn't that *spark* - and that spark CANNOT be forced or created. It's either there, or it isn't. That said, yes. You've been disqualified from the running. If you call her up and ask her to hang out, assume that it WILL be ALWAYS just as FRIENDS. I did not mean to be unkind. Sorry if I offended.
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