sexfiendgirl Posted May 3, 2006 Posted May 3, 2006 OK so I'm very horny & frustrated. NOT a good combo. I've been with my bf J for 2 mths, after being together for a few mths and then breaking up for a few mths due to ex-factor problems with my continued emotional involvement with my ex S. Since J and I got back, the sex has been as great as it was then. Now mind you I'm 24 and I've only ever had 2 sexual partners, and by far my current bf is waaay better than my ex-bf S ever was. I believe that my current bf, J, brought out my sexuality that was bottled up in my unhappy long-term rel'ship with my ex S. Suffice to say... J brought out the freak in me, which was a great relief because I was worried why I disliked sex so much w S. But here's the problem... now that my sexuality is blossoming, I have come to realize I LOVE sex. I don't want or need it every single day - but I need it often. And I think my bf... has a low sex drive! WTF??? OKay... we both lead pretty busy lives (me esp) so we only see each other about 1x week even though we talk almost every day. Every time we've seen each other... come hell or high water, whether we went out first or not... we've almost always done the deed afterwards. Until this past month... I took on a volunteer job which pretty much cut BIG time into my free time on the weekend (which was usually when we saw each other). And for the first time EVER ... I can say we have been on a sexual drought. It has been 2.5 weeks and counting and I'm losing my damn mind. Several times... my bf and I have discussed our need for sex and he has clearly indicated to me that sex is not the end all or be all for him, and for him -> 1x week and then whenever else you feel like it ... is good. I agreed with him THEN - because at that time the 1x week was OK for me, because I like my space and don't want to hook up with him more than 1 or 2 times a week at this point in our rel'ship... and 2) I didn't believe my sex drive was 'high' in the sense that I don't need or want it every single day. I also believe the fact that we've paced ourselves sexually... is another reason why we're both still so sexually attracted to each other. I've NEVER 'not' been in the mood, with this current pace. Everything was fine... until the Great Drought. Week 0 went by no problems. When it came around to Week 1... we made plans which unfortunately got waylaid by circumstances beyond his control. Later on that week we tried to hook up again, but then I had to cancel for reasons beyond my control. At the time I saw the 1.5 week mark approaching with NO SEx but wasn't overly concerned. We hooked up around the 2 week mark... and then got into a STUPID me-initiated argument. For the first time ever - I was NOT in the mood. We discussed the argument... I got back in the mood but now he wasn't in the mood so I left, ANGRY and thinking OMG it's 2 weeks NO sex WTF?? And NOW i'm on my damn period and it's been 2.5 weeks WTF!!! I last saw him this Sunday... RIGHT after my period came! We went out... I'm still on the rag... and no sex yet. Is this normal? Can guys go for so long without having sex??? Let it be known ... this is my first time dealing with someone with whom i feel has a low sex drive, for a male. My last ex-bf, a cheater, had a ridiculously high sex drive which I could not and DID not want to keep up with. Now it seems like the exact opposite. I love the sex, but it is not coming frequently enough for me! I cannot go 2.5 weeks - I cannot! Someone please help! I'm tired of talking to my bf about it because I dont wanna pressure him. but at the same time I want sex and do not know if I can handle gaps this long. Has anyone ever experienced this? How do you deal when you want sex, and the other person seems like they can do days on end with no problem? sexfiendgirl
Darla Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 maybe your boyfriend is insecure about his body...I mean is he really comfortable with you? Or does he seem awkward? Have you tried asking him which positions he likes? Sometimes new things are good for the guys it really turns them on. Maybe the location is a factor I dunno where yall are having sex, but make sure he is comfortable in those places...sometimes my boyfriend is not in the mood for sex but thats only because he is a sleepaholic. He always tells me that men need sex, their job here is to produce, although of course birth control doesnt let guys produce, but anyways, guys need that sensation, that feeling. I dunno if all guys are that way, but as he tells me, every guy is haha. Your boyfriend maybe isn't telling you whats bothering him, maybe there is something. Just talk to him calmly and respectively don't scare him and just ask if he would like to change anything in your sex routine. Maybe that will help him take more opportunities so you two can have sex together. --Darla
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