confusedhusband Posted May 3, 2006 Posted May 3, 2006 I think my wife is in love or at very least has a crush on another man. We have been married for 5 years. We have always been faithful to each other - as far as I know. I trust her and she trusts me. This past weekend we got in a really bad fight. She and I had both been drinking but she got really drunk (so drunk she doesn't remember). I've never seen her like that and it scared me. She was going crazy I was trying to get her into bed and undress her and she started to looze her mind like I was trying to rape her or something... she started hitting me with her bra and freaking out. It was like she didn't know who I was. I tried to calm her down but ended up getting really angry with her. She kept trying to get out of bed to go down stairs and hang out with a friend of ours who had decided to sleep on the couch because he had had to much to drink. I kept telling her your not going downstairs. And I asked her why do you want to go down there and I was shocked at what came out of her mouth because "I love him" I was like what the #@)!. What do you mean you love him. She said "I've had feelings for him for years and I just can't hide it anymore. I don't care who knows." So then the fight got really out of control. I got really mad and forced her back to bed. I got so upset that I hit her. I didn't mean to hit her that hard but she was going crazy. Then she freaked out and tried to leave. She started saying stuff like "you see he wouldn't treat me like this" She wanted to go down there and lay with him. Lay with him what does that mean. Needless to say she tried to sneak out of the room twice. I had to sleep in front of the door - remeber I had undressed her she didn't have any clothes on and she was still tryng to leave. I had hidden her clothes in another room so she couldn't go anywhere. When we awoke in the morning her face was all bruised and her eye was so swollen it was barely open - i felt sick to my stomach that I had done that but mostly that she had confessed her love for another man. She was like what did I do to deserve this?? So I told her and She claims she doesn't remember saying any of that stuff doesn't know why she would of said such things. She says maybe she was just trying to say things to hurt me since we were fighting. She says she loves me and that Im the only one for her. She says she was trying to go down stairs because I had hit her - she was going for pertections she felt safe with him She still swears that there is nothing with this guy. They have been friends since childhood he is 7 years younger then her. But she has been acting different these last couple of days - she says that she is going threw some issues and wants to talk to some one professional about them - She says she is having a hard time dealing with the fact that I hit her. Im just trying to forget about what she said but everytime she gets upset about me hitting her I remeber all the terrible things she said. WHAT DO I DO
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 You should both see a counselor - perhaps individually even. Your marriage is on the rocks. Check out http://www.marriagebuilders.com for information on how to deal with infidelity. (She sounds very messed up.) Good luck.
typical Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 WOW. THIS: but she got really drunk (so drunk she doesn't remember). Doesnt Jive with this: She says she was trying to go down stairs because I had hit her - she was going for pertections she felt safe with him So which is it? She remembers that you hit her, and forgot the rest of what happened before and after? She only remembers that you hit her? The friend heard none of this? How exactly were things said between the both of you? Where you both screaming? Whispering? Sorry, I need minor details ...
SoleMate Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 It's very painful to see you partner planning infidelity, but you should not, repeat NOT, have hit her or imprisoned her. Both of those actions are FELONIES and you could do prison time for this. If her eye can barely open, that's not just a lovers' quarrel. You assaulted her violently. Beside what you did, her actions fade into insignificance, IMO. WHAT DO I DO? Apologize. Get professional help to control your anger and abusiveness. Hope that she does not file a police report - because I can assure you that in almost every US jurisdiction, this would be pursued by the prosecutor. Separate yourselves so the battery does not recur. Get marriage counselling if you want to try to stay married. Try Marriage Builders.
Recommended Posts