Touche Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 I agree with Alexandra. I've said it on here a million times. These are not games but different "approaches." That's the word I always use to describe what Alexandra I believe said were strategies. They're not games in my book. It's using a bit of psychology and a bit of human nature to your advantage. Bottom line, don't be predictable. Keep her guessing. Think of yourself as a slot machine. She pulls the lever and there's a payoff sometimes and sometimes not. If there's always a payoff it will get old fast and there won't be a challenge involved. Conversely, if there's NEVER a payoff, she will lose interest in pulling the lever. Keep her guessing and don't get too emotionally invested so early. You don't know her true character yet so it's never a good idea to "care" this early in the game. You can get hurt that way.
tinktronik Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 I'm going to have to give her the benefit of the doubt. I talked to her and she told me she had fallen asleep at a really early hour. Unless she's straight up lying to me, which I don't think she is, her not calling me that day wasn't intentional.. I'm quite glad that you got this resolved , it sounds as if this girl is someone who you are quite interested in .(smile) . Just take it easy and don't read too much into it too early.
Author MadDog Posted May 5, 2006 Author Posted May 5, 2006 Alexandra & Touche, you're both right. I guess dating isn't technically a game per se (where you have to purposely do no shows, etc) but at the same time, there are unwritten rules that have to be followed. I guess I see anything with rules where there's a winning or losing outcome as a game. I like the slot machine theory. The only problem though is that both our schedules are pretty busy so it'll be kinda hard to pretend to be busy when I'm not because then we might not end up hanging out for over a week. We kinda have to get together when we can which at this point is twice a week at most.
Touche Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 Alexandra & Touche, you're both right. I guess dating isn't technically a game per se (where you have to purposely do no shows, etc) but at the same time, there are unwritten rules that have to be followed. I guess I see anything with rules where there's a winning or losing outcome as a game. I like the slot machine theory. The only problem though is that both our schedules are pretty busy so it'll be kinda hard to pretend to be busy when I'm not because then we might not end up hanging out for over a week. We kinda have to get together when we can which at this point is twice a week at most. I never said to pretend to be busy when you're not. No. Don't call her when she expects you to every time. Be late with a call once in a while. Keep her guessing like I said. Let HER wonder if YOU'RE interested a little bit. I'm not saying to keep that up forever. I mean if you have to, then it's not meant to be. There should come a point, if you're successful in this courting phase, where you can stop with the "strategies" and "approaches" and put all your cards on the table. But at first, this is the way it's gotta be. So yeah, the next time you go out, go for the kiss. But then, pull back a bit on the communication. Let just a little more time than you're used to letting go by before you have your next contact. Try that and see if that doesn't work for you. SHE has too much control. Get the control back on YOUR side. Show her the confident man you show us on here. It's quite sexy, really.
Author MadDog Posted May 5, 2006 Author Posted May 5, 2006 Yeah. I just got a little excited but I've got my cool back now. I guess this is the first time I've ever been this into a girl so it was easy to go overboard. It's all good now. I'm almost tempted to go out and pick up another girl. That would be the ultimate in making her wonder how much I'm into her. Then again, I just don't have the time to be doing that.
Touche Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 Yeah. I just got a little excited but I've got my cool back now. I guess this is the first time I've ever been this into a girl so it was easy to go overboard. It's all good now. I'm almost tempted to go out and pick up another girl. That would be the ultimate in making her wonder how much I'm into her. Then again, I just don't have the time to be doing that. No, I wouldn't do that. BOYS, do that. MEN, don't. If you're that into her, respect her enough to give her a chance.
johan Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 I'm almost tempted to go out and pick up another girl. That would be the ultimate in making her wonder how much I'm into her. Then again, I just don't have the time to be doing that. That would make her feel the same way you'd feel if she went a picked up some other guy. You'd write her off.
Touche Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 Fine mom & dad, I won't. That made me laugh! :lmao: Are you seeing her tonight?
Art_Critic Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 I'm almost tempted to go out and pick up another girl. Something tells me that that option isn't as available to you as you make it seem.. Otherwise you wouldn't be on LS talking about her and you would've dumped her already and moved on to someone else.
TheSwordfish Posted May 5, 2006 Posted May 5, 2006 Maddog like advise would be: You haven't kissed her yet... you are in teh friends zone... leave her and fidn another girl
Author MadDog Posted May 5, 2006 Author Posted May 5, 2006 Something tells me that that option isn't as available to you as you make it seem.. Otherwise you wouldn't be on LS talking about her and you would've dumped her already and moved on to someone else. Oh that option's available. Like I said, there's something about this girl that makes her ultimately appealing to me. That's the reason why I haven't dumped her and moved on to someone else--cause it'd be hard to find another one with the appeal she has. Maddog like advise would be: You haven't kissed her yet... you are in teh friends zone... leave her and fidn another girl Hey, that's not true. I'd say,"Definately make a move on the next date. If she doesn't seem into it, then drop her like she's hot and find another girl who's hotter than her." That's basically my plan at this point.
AriaIncognito Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 So, MadDog, have you kissed her yet? Almost a whole weekend has gone by... :-) We're waiting hehe. Jennifer
Author MadDog Posted May 7, 2006 Author Posted May 7, 2006 So, MadDog, have you kissed her yet? Almost a whole weekend has gone by... :-) We're waiting hehe. Jennifer I know and I haven't seen her since that last weekend. She's been working like crazy. We were supposed to hang out Saturday but again work got in the way. She was apologetic (because she slept right through the time we were going to hang out and it made it seem like she was blowing me off) and said to make up for it, she was going to come over some random weeknight this week and sleep over at my place. Maybe I'll get more than a kiss then. Maybe she'll come over with her hot blonde and bi friend Trixie. Yeah, maybe.
Alexandra Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 Maybe she'll come over with her hot blonde and bi friend Trixie. Yeah, maybe. Allrighty you worked hard enough, you've earnt it, Nice-Guy badge removed now, relax.
TeaCooler Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 Allrighty you worked hard enough, you've earnt it, Nice-Guy badge removed now, relax. i hope Trxie has some appeal.
AriaIncognito Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 I know and I haven't seen her since that last weekend. She's been working like crazy. We were supposed to hang out Saturday but again work got in the way. She was apologetic (because she slept right through the time we were going to hang out and it made it seem like she was blowing me off) and said to make up for it, she was going to come over some random weeknight this week and sleep over at my place. Maybe I'll get more than a kiss then. Maybe she'll come over with her hot blonde and bi friend Trixie. Yeah, maybe. Does it upset you at all that she just "sleeps through" time that you were supposed to be together? If that were me, I'd feel quite unimportant. I'd rather someone have me a little bit of a priority and tell me that they are too tired, before just going to sleep instead and missing our date. I hope, for you, that it doesn't bother you, but man, i'd be goin' nuts! hehe Jennifer
Author MadDog Posted May 7, 2006 Author Posted May 7, 2006 Allrighty you worked hard enough, you've earnt it, Nice-Guy badge removed now, relax. Haha. That wasn't meant to prove I'm not a nice guy or something. It's true, I'm not a typical "nice guy" with associated problems like getting taken advantage of, etc. I still consider myself a gentleman though. I open doors, pull out chairs, etc. when I'm on a date. Then again I still think threesomes are awesome. I bet that's a rare combo to act the gentleman but still want threesomes. Yeah, I'm a keeper for sure.
Alexandra Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 I bet that's a rare combo to act the gentleman but still want threesomes. Yeah, I'm a keeper for sure. Geez boys sure have some weird misconceptions.... I for one would not say a guy who fancies 3sums is keepers material. On the contrary.
Author MadDog Posted May 7, 2006 Author Posted May 7, 2006 i hope Trxie has some appeal. Come on. Trixie is a bi-sexual stripper. No girls who aren't strippers are actually named Trixie. What's not to like about that? Does it upset you at all that she just "sleeps through" time that you were supposed to be together? If that were me, I'd feel quite unimportant. I'd rather someone have me a little bit of a priority and tell me that they are too tired, before just going to sleep instead and missing our date. I hope, for you, that it doesn't bother you, but man, i'd be goin' nuts! hehe It doesn't bother me that she needs to sleep. She's got crazy hours at her work and I understand. Starting in a couple months, I'm going to have insane hours too so she'll have to understand. And you're right. The issue I had was that she could have easily sent me a message (called or text) before falling asleep. I mentioned that to her and she was apologetic about it and realized she made a mistake. I anticipate she'll definately make the effort the next time this happens. I've concluded I'm one of the most patient and understanding guys around. Basically, unless you're purposely screwing me over, it's not a big deal to me. If you make a mistake, as long as you are apologetic about it and don't keep making the same mistake, it doesn't bother me. I know if I make a mistake, I'd want the person to be understanding towards me to and not give me hell.
Author MadDog Posted May 7, 2006 Author Posted May 7, 2006 Geez boys sure have some weird misconceptions.... I for one would not say a guy who fancies 3sums is keepers material. On the contrary. What's morally wrong about a threesome if I'm single?
AriaIncognito Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 I agree, MadDog. However, if she continues to make the same mistakes over and over again, kick her to the curb :-) I had an ex that would repeatedly make the same mistakes over and over again. He was always apologetic about it, but seemingly didn't care enough to change. Obviously, this is one of the reasons he is now an ex Jennifer
Alexandra Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 What's morally wrong about a threesome if I'm single? You misread, I wasn't saying it was morally wrong in the least. I was discussing the contradiction between the notion of "being a keeper" -which implies a committed relationship- and the desire to have a threesome.
Touche Posted May 7, 2006 Posted May 7, 2006 What's morally wrong about a threesome if I'm single? I know..there she goes judging again!
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