ImWithHim Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 I'll just bet it's not calculated. She either isn't interested, she's just plain rude, or she is forgetful. Everyone it putting too much thought into this. I just don't get it.
Author MadDog Posted May 4, 2006 Author Posted May 4, 2006 I guarantee you've been thinking about this WAY more than she has. Yeah I'm sure. And the irony is normally I'm the one who doesn't give a damn and go through several girls at will. The one time I find one who I think has potential and I start caring a little, I'm left having to actually get advice on LS instead of giving it. The bottom line seems to be "don't care if you want a relationship to start smoothly."
johan Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 ...The one time I find one who I think has potential and I start caring a little, I'm left having to actually get advice on LS instead of giving it. Remember this day. The bottom line seems to be don't care. I think of it more like don't care more than she shows that she does. Not this early. She might seem to have potential, but you really don't know at this point.
Touche Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 Yeah I'm sure. And the irony is normally I'm the one who doesn't give a damn and go through several girls at will. The one time I find one who I think has potential and I start caring a little, I'm left having to actually get advice on LS instead of giving it. The bottom line seems to be "don't care if you want a relationship to start smoothly." Karma's a bitch, ain't it? No but really the bottom line IS what you said. Care AFTER you have reason to. Much easier on yourself that way.
westernxer Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 Four dates and no action (not even a kiss) says enough.
Author MadDog Posted May 4, 2006 Author Posted May 4, 2006 Four dates and no action (not even a kiss) says enough. I don't know man. Everyone's different. I wouldn't write off a girl just because she has a rule about not kissing until date X. It's much different than a rule about not having sex until date X. It's just different levels of conservatism. At the same time, I think it's been long enough though for me to try to make another move (since my first attempt was on date #1). I'll try the next time and see how it goes.
whichwayisup Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 Behaving like WHAT? It hasn't even been 48 hours yet. You posted this at 36 hours. You haven't even KISSED her yet. How does that make her rude, immature, of laden with "deep issues"?? Jeeezus. Reverse the situation and if a guy was doing this to a girl, the message most would be saying is "he just ain't into you." He wouldn't BE an a**h*** because he brushed her off and didn't return calls...SO, when a woman does this and (it IS wrong, man or woman, to brush someone off without explanation, it's the wimpypussy way out) all of a sudden she's a nutcase, a loser, immature and rude? You have assumed alot, so just wait afew more days and see what happens. Maybe she was in a bad mood and didn't wanna talk to ANYBODY. Until you find out for sure that she is NOT interested and it's over, (or maybe she's playing hard to get?? I don't know!) don't freakout yet MD.
whichwayisup Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 I guarantee you've been thinking about this WAY more than she has. Really eh! Geez MD, Stop acting like such a girl! Just kidding. You did really like her alot so that is why you're bugged so much by this. You saw potiental and it seems this thing may not work out...
whichwayisup Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 Good post SG, and I'll add too, you don't know this girl at all yet, so yeah, give her the benefit of the doubt, especially if you really like her. She COULD be backing off abit to see what YOU do next...I don't know! But don't think the worst case senario quite yet, k!
Author MadDog Posted May 4, 2006 Author Posted May 4, 2006 Alright everyone. Most of you are right. I jumped to a conclusion I shouldn't have. It's obvious to me now she didn't blow me off on purpose. I'll talk to her sometime tonight and will definately play it cool. I hope she's not the kind of girl who gets into bad moods though. I hate people like that and will have to drop her like she's hot if that's how she is.
Author MadDog Posted May 4, 2006 Author Posted May 4, 2006 As an aside... here's a thought - maybe she was backing off because she's waiting for you to shove your tongue down her throat??? Maybe SHE's thinking, "DUDE, WTF?" (I don't recall the reason WHY y'all haven't kissed yet...??) ?? I'm about to shove my tongue down her throat. I'm definately going to go for it on the next date. The reason why we haven't kissed yet is because I went for a makeout session (more than just a goodnight kiss) and she stopped me. This was during the first date. I wanted to give it some time since then so she doesn't think I'm only dating her to get into her pants. Well I want to get into her pants but that's not the only reason I'm interested in her.
Art_Critic Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 I'm about to shove my tongue down her throat. I'm definately going to go for it on the next date. Start the date out with a kiss .. it always works for me
Author MadDog Posted May 4, 2006 Author Posted May 4, 2006 She called me from work just a few minutes ago. I guess she operates pretty much the way some of you predicted. She sent me a text this afternoon, I didn't respond. She then calls me from work (as opposed to after work) to make sure I'm not blowing her off. I don't believe in games but it sure seems like she responds to me not showing her too much interest. I feel like I have total control of the situation now. I know exactly what to do and how to interact with her. Thanks for all the insight everyone. I'm going for the makeout the next time I see her. Keep you updated on how it goes.
Lishy Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 You are playing with fire! Prepare to get burnt! and prepare to spend time playing games and second guessing everything!
Delectable Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 (((MAD DOG))) big hugs Did you guys talk about 'a relationship' that night..did something spook her? Even so - she could be mature enough to pick up the phone or at the very least drop a cyber line. But I like to give the benefit of the doubt...maybe something came up or she isn't okay....maybe
Lishy Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 She is using him to feed her ego and he deserves more! It will drag him down and he will lose the confidence he now has! As soon as he gives her the attention she wants she will back off and then when he backs off she will come back - Cat and mouse gets frustrating and boring and kills self esteem! I know .... I did it! I just hope that crazy dawg realises this and kicks her to the kerb!
Walk Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 MadDog, I think the absolute best thing you could do is let this girl know that if she says she's going to call right back, or at a specific time, that you Expect her to call. That you feel its impolite not to. Otherwise you may get a repeat of this in the future. Some people have different concepts of what is okay and not okay to do... But if you never let her know you don't appreciate it, then she's going to assume that this is okay... except next time instead of blowing it off, you might get seriously upset. Or you could resolve the issue right now.
SmoochieFace Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 and when have you ever been a woman in her mid-20's? please. we don't need you as a spokesperson. I was married to a 20-something thank you very much. She was an exception in spite of the fact that she is nine years younger than me.
catgirl1927 Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 and when have you ever been a woman in her mid-20's? please. we don't need you as a spokesperson. Ok, I missed this the first time around, and let me just say, I am still giggling. :lmao: :lmao:
SmoochieFace Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 Ok, I missed this the first time around, and let me just say, I am still giggling. :lmao: :lmao: ... I see you and TEACOOLER wanna turn this into yet another s***-slinging contest... hey, that's cool.. you can sling the muck at each other cuz I am not participating. If you two wanna make complete asses out of yourselves then go right ahead. Just clean up after yourselves when you're through acting like 2 year-olds. Carry on...
TeaCooler Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 ... I see you and TEACOOLER wanna turn this into yet another s***-slinging contest... hey, that's cool.. you can sling the muck at each other cuz I am not participating. If you two wanna make complete asses out of yourselves then go right ahead. Just clean up after yourselves when you're through acting like 2 year-olds. Carry on... not exactly. i was making a point. catgirl thought it was funny. if you wanna rant and rave like a child as usual, have at it. but the point is, you have never been a woman in her mid-20's.
Author MadDog Posted May 4, 2006 Author Posted May 4, 2006 She is using him to feed her ego and he deserves more! It will drag him down and he will lose the confidence he now has! As soon as he gives her the attention she wants she will back off and then when he backs off she will come back - Cat and mouse gets frustrating and boring and kills self esteem! I know .... I did it! I just hope that crazy dawg realises this and kicks her to the kerb! I'm going to have to give her the benefit of the doubt. I talked to her and she told me she had fallen asleep at a really early hour. Unless she's straight up lying to me, which I don't think she is, her not calling me that day wasn't intentional. Don't worry. I'm going to be careful and if this becomes a pattern or if anything else tips me off that there are other issues, I'll be sure to address them. MadDog, I think the absolute best thing you could do is let this girl know that if she says she's going to call right back, or at a specific time, that you Expect her to call. That you feel its impolite not to. Otherwise you may get a repeat of this in the future. Some people have different concepts of what is okay and not okay to do... But if you never let her know you don't appreciate it, then she's going to assume that this is okay... except next time instead of blowing it off, you might get seriously upset. Or you could resolve the issue right now. You know, after I talked to her yesterday, I just realized she's one of those typical girls who don't consider calling back to be too big of a deal. As long as it's not intentional, I don't think it's a big deal. Now that I know what to expect, if it happens again (I don't think it'll happen for a whole day though), I won't feel badly about it.
2020vision Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 Whoa, totally had to edit my post, just read your latest...sorry! GOOD LUCK! The dating world is rough!
catgirl1927 Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 ... I see you and TEACOOLER wanna turn this into yet another s***-slinging contest... hey, that's cool.. you can sling the muck at each other cuz I am not participating. If you two wanna make complete asses out of yourselves then go right ahead. Just clean up after yourselves when you're through acting like 2 year-olds. Carry on... Wow. You really have it out for me, don't you? Do you have a new list of targets every day, or is it weekly? My post had absolutely NOTHING to do with you. I didn't even realize it was in response to something you said, I just thought it was funny and cute that she said it. Not about you. Yes, it is indeed possible for something to not be all about you. So I'm an ass? Name calling? I thought you were above that... huh, imagine that... Another look-at-me thread by Smoochie!!! WHEEEEE!!!
Alexandra Posted May 4, 2006 Posted May 4, 2006 I don't believe in games but it sure seems like she responds to me not showing her too much interest. I feel like I have total control of the situation now. I know exactly what to do and how to interact with her. Not a stab at you MadDog, more of a general point. I always think it's a tad more fair when people like AlphaMale say they have no qualms with "the game" because quite frankly that's a vague and thankfully Politically Incorrect term which is true for anyone. No matter how much honesty one would force himself/herself to practice they're still consciently or not planning strategies, responding to reactions, in other words "playing games" if that's how we want to define it. The fine line is between continous intentional playing of games -which almost always fails- and reaction that may be defined as a game. You say you have "total control" no such thing and no "knowing exactly" will be always right either. I'm sure you know that much. Her responding to you not showing interest may well work once or twice and then stop working abruptly when she's had had enough of it. Despite being one of the ones who said maybe you should give it some time and check before you jump to conclusions before she surfaced, I really liked how you behaved yourself in the course of this thread. You overreacted at first, you read some things wrong, maybe, but then you accepted even criticism, kept an open mind and patched things up. You seemed quite the passionate and intelligent guy. That's because you were feeling through it not trying your hand at head games. Maybe you could keep doing that without presuming "total control" ever and things would move forward better.
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