Imagine this.

[MassiveAtom]

Divorced Father finally comes to grips with the fact that he despises parenting, loves his kids, wants to be involved in their lives, but is always affected negatively by the very nature of children, and that he despises parenting.

 

So he decides to move to another state. That decision leads him to realize that it isn't parenting he despises, but co-parenting with the impossibly controlling ex. He thinks everyone will be better off because the children will be able to visit for yearly extended periods, and not the two or three days here and there, and the ex will be completely removed from the day to day.

 

He'll be less stressed, have more interest in his role as father, because it will be be truly HIS role, and he won't have to fight for it. And ultimately, the kids will benefit from a happier, less stressed out father in an environment where their relationship can blossom, without the poison of the other parent impeding its growth.

 

This man feels at peace with this conclusion, and has great expectations for it.

 

Looking for passive thoughts, and impressions of the situation. Not looking for "Guidance" per se. just a little perspective. Thanks in advance for you suspension of judgement.

 

MA

[Roo-bie2]

Let's say the kids "get a life" decide they want to be in sports, have a job, do scouting. These are commitments that takes up part of the summer. They have to choose these activities verses their dad. They don't see their dad much so they don't have a constant reinforcement and reconnecting of their fathers love. They resent that they cannot do these things, because dad moved away. They get jealous because the dad‘s new family gets him more. He goes to their games, their camping trips, et .......................The grow apart to the point dad is just a child support check and college tuition.

 

I say find a way to cope with the controlling ex and spend more time with your kids. Don’t let the other parent push you out. She is going to be controlling no matter if she is 5 miles or 500 miles away. She will call the kids and get “reports”. She will tell you what to do with your time, or try to one up your time even more so if you had time more often.

 

My mom moved us 700 miles away from my dad. The day in and day out “I love you’s” Mean a lot more than the “fun” breaks from mom.

[brashgal]

I agree, works well when they are small and not into a lot of activities but once they get busy with sports, friends, etc, you're liable to lose out. I've seen this happen in several friend's families, especially if there is a strong stepdad. The real Dad gets pushed aside.